I will always love you
by ForeverJelly
Summary: As much as we want them back at the moment it's impossible, I'm still very much disappointed. Anyway, Here's my very first ever fanfic. :) Jellyforever!
1. Chapter 1

My first ever Fanfic. Sorry It's rubbish, I have this on my mind since Jell's last scene together and I just wanna throw it out there.

Happy as they can be, finally got their own flat. It took them months to finally find the perfect neighborhood and very much close to UNI.

I could do with a glass of wine "tilly said as she sits down on their cozy new couch.  
Shall we explore the place, I heard there's some nice pub around here, which by the way we can check if we can get a job. "Esther said while unpacking the rest of their boxes. "

Maybe we can check out the bed of ours if it's comfy enough for our nights of passion "tilly said as she stands up and put her arms around Esther's waist and kissing her on the neck."

Hmmmm.. I'd like that ' Esther said as she turns around and meet her girlfriend's lips.

Oi! Enough of that, you have all the time in the world for that, how about we go grab something to eat. I'm starving. George interrupted the couple.

They all got ready and head out of the flat to explore their neighborhood. Three blocks away, they come across this busy pub which to them means it's the place to be.

They all ordered and munch out on their dinner. Before they had out George remembered they were looking to find a part time job to help them out with bills now that they have their own.

Excuse me! George trying to get one of the waiter's attention on their way out. "I just want to say you guys have an amazing food and great selections of wine, George started  
Awesome, Glad you liked it here' i say I'd be seeing you guys here again? The waiter said.  
George gave him a flirty smile 'we actually just move into our new flat bout 3 blocks away from here so yeah maybe.' Esther added.  
Great, there are a couple of pubs around here but as you can tell we got the crowd, the waiter said very proud.  
So are you guy's Uni students? Ask the waiter.  
Yes, actually since we just got our own flat and what with all the bills and school needs, we are actually looking for a part time job, do you happen to know if you are in need of more employees here? Tilly nervously asked.

Well you'll be lucky to know I think the boss is actually getting ready to add a few employees and he prefers students and plus I'd like that too, the waiter whispers' i hate having to work overtime and they will call me in on my day off. 'He adds'

Well then, i think this will work just great for us. Tilly said. So when can we come to pass our applications? She adds.

The waiter excused himself and went to talk to this tall, bearded man who by his suit and tie get up seems the manager or owner.

The three waits and watch as the two talks and the waiter's pointing at their direction. A few minutes later the waiter came back smiling holding what looks to be an application.

Here you go, fill that out and he wants you guys to come back tomorrow at 3 when the pub's not that busy. That sounds good to you guys? He asked

George did a little squeak nudging Esther and Tilly.  
Thank you so much for you kindness, Tilly started 'of course we'll be here. This would be perfect for us. It's pretty close!  
He smiled and finally introduced himself.  
I'm Kent by the way. I'll be working that time tomorrow too. So you'll see me again. He adds.

They had a chit-chat for a few more minutes before the three head back to their flat.

Wow, that was a very productive day Esther said as they enter their flat.  
Well, I don't know about you two but I am exhausted. I think I'm going straight to bed and you two can continue whatever I interrupted when a while ago. He jokes'  
well I say why don't you ask Kent out, he seems to be swinging your way by the way he looks at you. Tilly teased him as she gave Esther a wink to back her up.  
Yeah Georgie, when's the last time you mm' mm Esther humping George in jest. And Tilly joined her as they all laugh.  
Oh stop it! George blushed. He's cute but he seems like a playboy kind of guy.  
Play with him, just a past time you know. Esther wink at him'  
I'm not like that though, George seriously said.  
Alright enough of that, let's get to bed. Tilly gave George a squeezed and grab a hold of Esther's hand as they had upstairs to their bedrooms.

Hopefully we get this job babe, Tilly said as she cuddles behind Esther in their bed.  
Me too. Esther said as she slowly drips off to sleep.

Leaving Tilly in deep thoughts, she smiles as she feels like life has been at its best. She's finally after a year and a half of living at Uni halls have what she calls her own space. She's got her best friend with her, George and her ever so understanding girlfriend, Esther. Her grades are amazing, and maybe soon she can get a job to help her pay her bills. She's got a scholarship being the smart lady that she is, which helped her through her first year in Uni. With the money that her parents gave her at her 18th birthday almost running out she just need to get a job to get her life going. She feels confident with this job at the pub, it's close to where she lives and it would work with her schedule at school. Life is good she thought as she peacefully drifts off to sleep.

Bright and early Tilly got up and got ready for Uni, she gave Esther a peck on her cheek as she quietly left the room.  
Good morning' Tilly cheerfully tell George who isn't as keen as her going to uni this early.  
What's up? Tilly ask as she can tell something's bothering him.  
Tills I don't think my schedule would work for the job at that pub. I just got an email this morning, they've change one of my major subject's time and it's at 3pm. It's a 2hr class, and remember Kent said they need somebody that'll work between 3-8 and that won't work for me. I think I'm going to pass on this one.  
Tilly went and give George a hug, It's alright you, I'm sure there's more job out there that will work with your schedule.  
I hope so tills, schools getting as expensive as i go. It's nice to have our own place but it comes with a price. He added.  
We can work it out, it's not like we'll kick you out if don't pay your share. We'll help each other out, ok?  
George nodded and gave Tilly a hug.  
Thanks tills, shall we go?

The day went by fast for Tilly; she hurried home to get ready . Esther was there waiting and ready to go, as she didn't have Uni that day.  
Hey babe, Esther said as Tilly enters the flat. How was Uni?  
Hey hi, ready? Yah, Uni's good. She said as she approaches Esther who's sitting at their dining table having a cup of tea. She gave her a quick peck on the lips and hurried upstairs to get ready.  
Is George going to be late babe, Esther shouts at tilly from downstairs.  
Oh I forgot to tell you, he can't make it. They change the schedule of one of his major subject so this isn't going to work for him. She said with a disappointing tone.

Really? Esther sadly ask

Yah, well he'll be fine. You know him' he can find a way to get a job. He's awesome like that. Tilly confidently said. Shall we go?

Yep, good luck to us. Esther said then gave Tilly a kiss on lips.

They've arrive at the pub a few minutes early and right away Kent spotted them.

Hey girls, he said!

They approached him and handed him their applications.

Here you go, Esther said.  
Great, Let me take this to Eric. It shouldn't take long, so where's your guy friend? George? Right? He ask.

He's got uni till 5, they change the schedule last minute. He wasn't happy but he can't really do much about it. Tilly explained.

Oh, that sucks. He said with an obvious disappointment in his face.  
Anyway, I'll be right back. Find an empty seat. He adds

The couple watched as he enters what looks to be like their office, they both look at each and said 'this is it'.

After a few minutes he came back.  
So he wanted to do a one on one interview now, so either of you can go first.

Tilly and Esther looked at each other and both agreed that Esther will go ahead first.

As tilly was waiting for Esther, she busied herself by looking at their menus, not that she's hungry but it just helps getting her nerves together.

Then she heard this voice, very familiar voice. How can she forget, it has been the most beautiful voice she's ever heard in her whole life. As beautiful as it is, it had also cause her so much pain that she didn't think it would heal. 'So what can get you to today?' came from that voice.

Tilly knew it's got to be her. She knows that voice too well, she hesitated but couldn't help but turn around to look where that voice came from.

And sure enough it's her.  
Jennifer Gilmore. The women she had loved so much, the one who also hurt her more than anyone else in her whole life. The one who almost ruined her future. The one she hates to even hear anyone mention her name. The one she Wish she'd never meet. She hates her, 'fuck' she whispers.

She turns back around, hoping she hasn't seen her.

Of all places' she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Tilly was furious, what a small world she thought. It's been a little more than 2 years since she last saw her. The last thing she's heard about her is that she stayed in jail for a day then got bailed out and left Chester for good. She didn't even go and collect her belongings at Diane's. Liam have done her a favor of finally collecting them after a month, she still remember how much Diane made such fuss about it. And that was it. Nothing more. As much as she hated her, she was glad they didn't keep her in prison for what she thought like years.

She tried to stay calm and was just hoping Jen didn't see her, when she was sure Jen had finally gotten the costumers order she quickly move to the far corner of the pub where she's much hidden from her. As soon as she sat down she felt a hand touch her shoulder and said 'hey.

She jump, shit' she said but relieve that it was a male voice.

The interview's taking Longer than Normal, they just started' he was on the phone while your friend was there. That's Very much typical of Eric. Kent explained.

Tilly just smiled, she wasn't sure if she'll excuse herself and just head home but she can't really abandon her Girlfriend. She certainly doesn't want the job anymore, She's not going to be working with Jen. Oh just the thought of facing her again.

So, ahm do you like working here? She really didn't care she just want to get a conversation going and keep her mind off what she just saw. And to make it look like she doesn't need any help, Jen might notice somebody sitting alone with nothing on their table and come ask.

It's alright, not a fan of moaning costumers. Other than that I'm happy, It pays my bills.

Tilly just nodded.  
After seeing Jen again, her mind just couldn't function properly, she knew she had loads of questions for Kent that she wanted to ask while she waits for Esther but she just can't think.

Before it got awkwardly quiet, Kent started to say something.

Did you know somebody here used to be a Teacher then she took advantage of her position and dated her student? Kent said, looking rather happy to talk about her co-worker.

Tilly didn't answer right away, she wasn't really paying much attention her mind's somewhere else, and the fact that she just saw Jen and her worries that she might see her too. But she did hear Kent say something about a teacher and student. Which made it obvious that he was referring to Jen.

What? She tried her best to hide the mixed shocked and scared look on her face. Her heart was beating so fast. Yes he is talking about Jen and her but of course he doesn't know that. She was curious though as to why he knows, did Jen told him about it. Does she think its ok for people to know about her past? Jen being the private person that she is, she has doubts.

Yeah, it's crazy right? I mean risk your career like that. I think it's stupid, from a teacher to a server. He laughs in aversion. He shakes his head.

Tilly didn't like the way he's talking. She suddenly feels sorry for Jen, people are talking about her like this. Making fun of her. This isn't right she thought.

There she is, he said while pointing at Jen, who came back to give the costumers order. Don't get me wrong though, I am not making fun of her. I think people just make stupid decisions sometimes, but hers was pretty crazy. You're a Uni student so you must know how hard it is. What 4 years to be a teacher, all the student loans, part-time jobs, bills after bills you graduate comes another start As you go and search for jobs. You'd be lucky enough to secure one right away. I heard she did in fact got a permanent job then she bangs her student. All the hard work erased, back to zero. I mean she's fit she could easily find a job that doesn't require years in Uni, but what a waste. We should learn from that, don't we Tilly? He ask raising his eyebrows.

Tilly was looking at Jen all the while she's listening to Kent. She feels hurt, she feels guilty mainly. She didn't banged a student, she fell in love. We fell in love she thought and almost said it loud. She wants to defend Jen, she needs to say something but why would she, and she hates her. She's supposed to be making fun of her too, but she knows the truth. She knows what happened, Jen didn't take advantage of her, and she didn't use her position to hitch a student. Maybe she used it to get her expelled, cause she was saving her career. Oh it was a mess, our mess. While she's all moved on, Jen is still picking up the pieces. She suddenly doesn't wanna hate her anymore.

Hey! Kent trying to get her attention waving his hand in front of her.

She was in deep thoughts.

Oh sorry, I was thinking about the interview. She lied.

Don't be overthinking it. They hired an ex-teacher which by the way has criminal record so there shouldn't be any problem with you. He said

She just smiled, though she wanted to give this guy a punch in the face. She didn't like how much his downing Jen when she knows exactly what happened. It hits her hard, she's the one who called the police on Jen. But how in the world does he knows about Jen's past, Tilly needed to know.

Criminal record eh? She started.

Ahuh, statutory rape or sexual harrasment something like that. He shrugged

How did you know all of this? She quickly asked before he could add more ignorant and horrible comment towards Jen, she's also trying to contain the anger that's building up towards this thick-headed guy.

Well... it took him a Few seconds to continue. Gossip and that, then Eric our boss finally spit it out.

That one little pause that he did made Tilly realize he must've tried to make a pass on Jen and got rejected. What a piece of shit' she thought.

He then excused himself to go and do his job, said his break time is up.  
Her jaw literally dropped as to why would somebody on their right mind be spending the whole break time making fun of somebody. Even though she absolutely figured out why Kent was downing Jen the way he did, it still hits her. And the fact that Eric their boss would spill such private info about her. All of this is overwhelming for Tilly. She tries to get all this news sank into her.

Half an hour ago she thought life was good, it was just the way she wanted it to be. She has moved on from this. This is her past but why the heck does she care, why does she want to defend her. It doesn't have anything to do with her anymore, but to her it does. She is the reason behind all of this, she's living a normal life while Jen was suffering, and Jen got the worst end result of their forbidden affair. Of course she cares, she did this to her. They fell in love at the right place but in the wrong time' they didn't stop even when they thought it was wrong. Tilly knew their romance was real, Jen was her First love. She's not going to deny that, it was the best feeling in the world to fall in love for the first time. She stopped, right on that thought' crap' she must have said it loud enough that Esther heard it as she approach her from behind.

What's crap? Esther asked, sat herself down beside her rubbing Tilly's arm. You ok?

Oh ahm, I was getting bored and overthinking stuff. She was in deep thought couldn't think of a better excuse. But good thing Esther buys it.

Oh, stop it. You always overthink a lot of stuff and you really don't have too. Now get your butt over there, it's your turn. She winks and gave Tilly a quick kiss on her cheek.

Tilly gave her a weak smile, then made her way to get this interview done with, she feels weird. This interview will decide whether she'll be working with Jen or not. It was no doubt in her mind she wants this job, she needs it in fact. Then she saw Jen, It could've been an easy decision for her to drop it and find another job. Kent happened, everything that he said about Jen changed her mind again. This time she needs to get the job for much different reasons. She feels like she need to do something, first though she must secure this job. She's got her life back to normal after the whole scandal and to find out that Jen must have been still on the process getting up from the fall just bothers her a lot. She hates seeing her like this, how dare people like Kent judge somebody when they don't know the real story. When you're trying to live a normal life and people around you just doesn't want to drop it, she made a mistakes' we all do! Doesn't she deserve a second chance? Her need to help Jen gave her confident.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi jelly lovers, sorry for the long wait. Like I said this is my very first fanfic. It takes me awhile to put my imagination into words. Thank you so much for the reviews, keep them coming :) **

**...**

**Congratulations Ms. Evans, you can start tomorrow at 3. I will have somebody help you get started , if you have any problem with your schedule just let me know ahead of time so we can work on it. And for the uniform, just wear a plain white top for now, I'll check if we have extra uniform of your size in the stock room. Eric explained as he stands up and gave tilly a smile and shakes Her hand.**

**Tillly was in mixed emotions leaving the office, she's been given the hard part of revealing to Esther that she's the only one that got hired and not only that, it also hits her that Esther was involved with the whole Jen situation. Fuck' she whispers. She can't really tell Esther about Jen, so she decided she'll keep it for now. She hate lying especially to the people she cares about, but she knew if Esther finds out about this it'll only cause problem, too much problem. Just imagining Esther's reaction if she tells her, she'll think she have some hidden agenda. She won't understand even if I explain it to her she thought. She hurried to where Esther was sitting who is very much engrossed to her phone, she wonders whether she saw Jen or if Jen saw her.**

**As she approached her, she made an excuse about needing to get home right away. She pretty much dragged esther out of the pub. **

**Hey what's the rush for?' Esther ask as she stop Tilly from from walking so fast she can't even keep up. **

**She studied Esther for a few seconds to see if she'll say something about seeing Jen there at the pub but as it looks to her that she didn't she decide to tell her about the job.**

**Ahhm, look Esther' she sAid as she tAkes her hand and started rubbing it, I got the job, but you..**

**I didn't huh?, Esther interupted her with a disappointed look on her face.**

**Tilly just gave her a sympathetic look, pulling Esther as they started walking again putting her arms around her neck. **

**I'm sorry babe, it wasn't in my hand' you know i'd hire you if I was the boss right? Tilly said trying to cheer Esther. Giving her quick kiss on her cheek.**

**Well atleast one of us got hired right? Plus I think this is a good thing because if we see each other even at work we might get tired of each other? Esther chuckled trying to convince tilly she's fine. Even though she did feel sorry for herself, Putting a straight face to stop tilly from feeling so bad for her. She still get so insecure with her girlfriend. Something that she tries so hard to change. How she manage to pull tilly, she still wonder every now and then. Plus they haven't really been together that long, but she knows she loves her so much even before they got together. After the whole scandal that happened in hollyoaks, her and Tilly became really close. There were so many times before that she wanted to take it more than that but she can tell Tilly wasn't ready after Jen just yet. She was really bummed when Tilly went to Uni, No heartbroken actually. They got in touch, exchanged calls and text for a year just to catch up, George manage to convinced her to go to the same Uni he is attending and the fact that she'll be closer to Tilly made the decision easy. Fashion school she go while Tilly goes to one of the best Medical school in London. **

**They made it back to their flat, just in time for dinner. George doing his magic in the kitchen. They talked about the whole interview, Tilly didn't mention anything about Jen, but she's thinking about telling George as he would probably understand it better than Esther. She need to tell it to somebody did a toast for tilly's new job, wished her luck and george tease her that the less plate and glass she breaks the better. **

**We'll get a job soon Esther' let's have Tilly slave away on her new job for now. George cheerfully said then gave her a hug as they all said their goodnight before heading upstairs to their bedroom**

**Lying in bed, in deep thoughts. Tilly knew it's going to be a restless night, what the fuck did I put myself into she thought. How is she going to face Jen, what is she going to tell her. Should she act surprise, be mad. Is Jen going to curse her to death, is there going to be a catfight? She needed a plan, an approach. It has gone past 2 in the morning and tilly is nowhere near tired, her brain wont stop thinking. She just stares at ceiling, every now and then she would shake her head not believing the situation she's getting herself into. You never learn Evans she whispered. **

**...**

**She groan, the night had been long for her. Removing her boots and coat she quietly made her way to the kitchen. Poured herself a glass of water and drank it, oh that feels good' she said relieved.. Then she made her way to the living room to grab some of the newspaper.**

**Oh fuck Liam, what are you doing sleeping here? She said touching her chest to calm herself. **

**Oh sorry sis, liam said as he sat up from the couch rubbing his eyes. **

**How's work? What time is it? He ask getting up. **

**I think It's half past 3, she said checking her watch, Work is exhausting as usual. And i have to be at work early tomorrow. They finally hired somebody, eric wanted me to help her get started which i don't mind so i can get off early and spend some time with sandy. ' She said grabbing the newspaper on the center table. **

**Liam nodded, still half asleep**

**Alright sis, sorry I scared you. **

**Why don't you go to your room? She giggles**

**Yah, I'm going now. He said heading to his room.**

**Jen smiled and shakes her head watching him walk half asleep 'good night brother she said.**

**She then also made hey way to her bedroom and opted on taking a really warm and bubbly bath. She relaxed, drifted off to sleep a couple times so she decided it's best she heads to bed. Putting a towel around herself, then made her way in front of the mirror, Oh' Jen you need to take care of yourself she whisper. She's well thinner than before and the eyebags would tell you she hasn't got much sleep either. She remove her hair tie, then run her fingers through her now very much long hair, she can't remember the last time she got it done and she's sure she haven't had hair this long ever. Lucky for her they have to tie their hair up at work or she would've force herself to go and get it cut. She stared at herself for a Few more minutes then tears started to build up bluring her eyes, she immediately wiped her eyes before tears start to fall. It's going to get easier' she whispered.**

**...**

**Hey tills, wake up. You're going to be late for Uni babe. Esther said rubbing tilly's back.**

**She groan, NNnoooo...**

**Whatever happened to you lastnight? I felt you toasing and turning almost all night, do I need to get used to that? She jokes pulling the blanket off tilly.**

**Oh sorry, i don't know. It must be the New job, as usual I was overthinking. Arggh, give me my blanket' she begs.**

**Haha, tills you're going to be late. And babe please don't stress out about it too much, you'll do just fine just don't go impressing some chicks out there eh?! Esther said tickling her foot.**

**Tilly opened her eyes wide on that last comment, shit' she thought.**

**..**

**Once ready for Uni, Tilly hurried downstair and out running into the bus stop. **

**Come on, come on! Please tell me I didn't missed it.. **

**As the bus approaches, she punches the air with much joy. As it got closer to her, it must have been like one of those movies where they do slow motions. There she sees her, again! On the bus.**

**They are literally staring at each, Jen is sitting beside the window of the bus' she removed her ear plug as soon as she saw tilly. Both didn't know what to do, Jen's confused.. How ? Tilly in London? She's shocked. **

**Tilly just stands there looking at Her, not even realizing the bus is getting ready go, she'll miss it.. She can't move.. Her eyes glued at Jen. The bus slowly moves away from her, never breaking their eye contact till they can't anymore. The bus turned, disappeared from tilly's eyes..she feels sick, her heart aches. It felt like someone really close to her heart abandoned her. There she stands, not knowing what to do next...**

**Ohhh Jen' She cries... **


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews..

I watched their scene at the beach, the first kiss and it inspired me to finish this one.

Don't you guys miss Jen's Fringe? I do

I will try my hardest to update again tomorrow.

She felt numb, she shakes her head. Of all the people in her life, she knew she'd come across at some point, the aunts and uncle, cousins, friends, them who decided they don't want to have anything to do with her anymore since she fucked up her life. She decided she'll ignore them, but this, Tilly? The person behind all of this, her blood started to boil. Tilly's the reason behind all of this. The want, no it's the NEED to go back and tell tilly just how much she hates her, how shit of a life she have, how she ruined everything for her. Tears have built up in her eyes, she didn't stop it from falling this time. She sniffs,

Are you ok Love? Came from the very worried looking old lady. She touched Jen's shoulder then she hands her a napkin.

Oh ahm, yeah sorry..I'm alright. Thanks. She sniffs and quickly wiped away her eyes.

It's just my past hunting me, the last thing that I want to come across with. She explained.

Must be hard love. What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. Use the past to make better decisions today, right now. You crying about it tell me it must be a recent event. If it hunts you like you said it does, maybe you need to go back and face it again.

Jen just stared at the old lady, taking in all that she's saying then she gave her a weak smile. If it's that easy, she would've done it.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. She said

It's love is it? The old lady Asked.

She didn't respond and turned her face towards the window in which answers the question.

The old lady just nodded.

...

Tilly slowly made her way back to the flat. After that encounter with Jen she didn't feel like going to Uni anymore. Not even bothered with the fact that it's one of her major subject that she's skipping.

Soon as she open the door, she heard George making his way down the stairs talking on the phone.

Right, be there soon. Give me 15 minutes. Bye.. He said to whoever's on the phone.

Oh hey tills, what are you doing here, aren't supposed to be at Uni? He frowns at Tilly while putting his coat on. He then notice the blank look on till's face.  
Tilly looked at him looking rather confuse, she knows that George is talking to her she just didn't hear what he said.

Are you ok? He then asked

Ah yah, I missed the bus and I didn't really feel like waiting for the next one. I'll just borrow my mate's notes tomorrow. Plus the other classes today I won't be missing much we only have to revise anyways. I'll do that here... She explained

Oh tills, that doesn't sound like the Tilly I know, he's worried'... Hey I got to go, But i know something's wrong with you, call me in an hour or two? Or tonight after your work so we can talk about it, yah? He said giving Tilly a hug.

You can read me like a book babe, Tilly respond smiling. But yah, I need to talk to you, tonight after work will be perfect.

Ok, got to go... Bye... He rushed to the door.

Soon as Tilly heard the door shut, she let out a huge sigh...Then she went upstairs and lay on the bed.  
She has 4 hours until she needs to be at work.

...

Jen was going from store to the other, her plan today had change. She woke up in a happy mood so she decided to go in town and do a little shopping but it got ruined after she saw Tilly. She can't stop thinking about her, what she's doing in London and what is she doing on that bus stop. Is she waiting for the bus? But then why didn't she get in? Is it because she was in it. Jen's mind was in overdrive. She kept walking through the stores then she come across a salon, since she can't really shop because her minds somewhere else she decided she'll go get a haircut. All she has to do is seat and wait, that works she thought.

2:30  
Tilly was getting ready for work, she's never been this nervous her whole life. Even thinking about taking a shot before work, but that's probably not a good idea. She decided not to tell Jen she knew she works there and just act surprise the moment they see each other. Having seen Jen on the bus heading to town gave her a bit of hope that she's off today at least then her first day at work wouldn't be that stressful, she needed the job after all.

It'll only take her 5 minutes to get work but she decided to go early, get a good impression from the boss. She made it to the Pub faster than she had hope, this is it Tilly, she whisper.

Kent spotted her as soon as she got into the Pub.  
Tilly! He waves his hand.  
Hey, she smiled.  
So you're ready? He asked.  
Ahm, yeah' I guess.. she nervously respond.  
So get in the office, Eric is there waiting for you. He ushered

K thanks...

She took a deep breath before knocking on the door..  
Come in! Came from the voice inside.

As she cracks the door open, she saw Eric and instantly gave him a smile but as she fully open it she found out he wasn't alone.. There sitting on the chair in front of the desk is Jen with the horror look on her face as she saw Tilly.

Tilly looked at her, but she was glad Eric started talking or the bus stop scene would've been repeated and the way they look at each would've been weird for Eric.

Right Tilly, so here's Jen she'll help you get started. Show you around, the kitchen, the storage and what you will be doing. I've already talked to Jen, she'll take you from here.. Oh and here's your Uniform. 'He explained then handed Tilly the item.

Thanks' Tilly said ..her face is burning as she could feel the intense look from Jen even if she's not looking at her. The urge to pretend a faint is on Tilly's mind, make a dumb excuse that she needs to go to bathroom. Oh please' can I just disappear now. She wished.  
Then Eric's phone started to ring..

'I need to get this call, excuse me! He said as he made his way out of the office.

Leaving the two alone...


	5. Chapter 5

Hi Jelly lovers! I'm so sorry for the delay, I have been really busy last week.

I hope this will make up for it.

I am writing the next chapter now, so it won't be long till the next one.

Thanks for the reviews :) I love reading them!

sorry again, it's rubbish :(

...

Soon as the door close, Tilly felt really awkward. All the plans she had, she pictured all the possible way to approach Jen. They'll be working in the same place, she knew they'll bump into each other no matter what. But not like this, she didn't picture this to happen. She needed to make it work somehow, she starts to speak..

Aah.. Ahm, I didn't expect to see you'. She shifted a little bit, trying to hide the guilt-ridden look written all over her face. How you been?... Look Jen this is really awkward, let's just do this professionally yah? She tried to get a reaction from Jen.

Jen by now has her other hand in her forehead, wiping the sweat underneath her fringe. She feels like she's going to be sick, not believing her fate. She stands up and wanted to excuse herself but not a single word can come out of her mouth.  
She walks past Tilly and out of the office. Which left Tilly looking rather confused, she was expecting Jen to give her a piece of her mind. She was ready for it, she wasn't really expecting a walk out from Jen. She contemplated her next move, should she go after her or not. If she goes after her, what is she going to say but then what is she going to tell Eric when he comes back from that phone call. She's there to help Jen, not to get her in trouble.

...

Heading straight to the restroom, Jen locked the door letting the tears pour out of her eyes.. Leaning against the door she wiped away her tears as she could hear a knock on the door.

Someone's here, sorry! She shouts after clearing her throat.

Jen, it's me Tilly.. Can we talk please? Tilly begged

Jen shakes her head with disbelief, is this for real? She thought

Listen, I knew you were working here before I got hired. I wasn't going to take the job but then I saw your situation and I just can't leave you like this. 'Tilly begins  
Please can we talk, open the door. Someone might hear me. She said hoping Jen would give her a chance to explain her motives.

Jen just stayed where she was, taking in what Tilly was saying. So she knew I worked here and still took the job, and what situation is she talking about? She thought. Wiping the tears from her eyes, checking her face in the mirror before she went to unlock the door.

There she pulled Tilly inside, surprising her.  
What do you think you're doing? She furiously ask..  
After you have ruined my life, you think you can just come back again and act as if nothing has happened? My situation isn't any of your business any longer and will never will. When i moved out of Hollyoaks, everything and everyone from that town have been detached in my life. People and the place that I swear I hope I've never set my foot at and never meet. I am done Tilly, Why can't you just let me live my life now. I am finally getting something done in my life after I lose my career then you come here as if nothing has happened? Jen by now is crying, as much as Tilly wanted to comfort her she didn't think Jen would let her but she couldn't help it. She felt like it's the right thing to do.

She touched Jen's shoulder, and said sorry a couple times. She also was crying.

...

A week has passed since their encounter. Tilly explained it to Jen about her intentions; she will try her best to stay out of Jen's way. Since Jen work late at night, Tilly would be done before she comes to work. Jen didn't help Tilly that day, she just can't do it. So she asked Kent if he could assist Tilly because she's got a family emergency she had to go to. With her swollen eyes from crying helped with the lame excuse.

They haven't seen each since then, Tilly did what she planned to do. Gave Kent what she thinks of him, and that he shouldn't gossiping about somebody's life, especially if they don't know the real story and what occurred. She did the same with everyone at work, whenever they start talking about it. If she can do more than that she would.

….

It was the weekend, George and Esther have been bugging tilly about going out to grab a few drinks then maybe hit the club. She knew they want to go the Pub where she works but Jen will be working in a few hours. The last thing she wants is for Esther and George to see her. But the two won't take no for an answer.

Come on tills, what's wrong if you work there. You're off today, they should know you do have a life too not just Uni and work right? George tries to convince her.

If you don't want to go though, me and Esther can just go and have all the fun in the world. Right est' he winks at her.

Come on babe, please... We won't be there for long anyways, just a few booze then off we hit the club.

Tilly looked at her, she didn't think it's a good idea but she does need a break from work and Uni, work alone is stressful. Avoiding Jen that is. Its 6:30, Jen won't be at work till 8 so she's taking the chance.

Right fine, let's go. But by 7 we are out of there ok? She meant every word as she points her finger at Esther and George...

They all made it to the Pub, sitting on the bar George bought the first round of shots. The trio was in full swing, even Tilly has forgotten to check the time. It has gone half past 7. She didn't know that Jen always comes to work half an hour early.  
Jen entered the pub from the back door, soon as she was ready she starts her night shift. She spotted the group right away, not quite sure how to really react. Then Esther and Tilly's intimacy caught her attention, Tilly kept touching Esther's back while Esther has her hand resting on Tilly's legs. When Tilly moved her hand to touch Esther's face then she kissed her full on the lips, for some reason it cuts deep. Running towards the back door, she needed the fresh air. Touching her chest, she feels it. It hurts. Why do i feel this, still? She whispers then tears fell from her eyes.

Tilly had finally realized they've been there far too long. Checking her watch it's already 8, Jen has got to be here she thought.

Ok you two, I've already had enough of this place. Shall we hit the club she said getting off her chair.  
Lucky for her, the two agreed right away and left the pub without any Jen incident.

It had been a very long night shift for Jen, as much as she wanted to get the picture of Tilly and Esther kissing off her mind she's having a hard time. On her way home, she can't stop questioning her emotions. The confusion, she need someone to remind her that this person ruined her life. But it isn't what her heart is telling her, well she admitted it to herself that all of this is her fault. She didn't stop even if she knew it was wrong and would ruin her career. She had all the chance in the world to choose her path, she chooses the wrong one every time. Made wrong decisions after the other, lied and manipulate somebody's life. All for what, Love? It's true, what her and Tilly had was special, but the way she handle it was wrong. She accepted all of the consequences, everything. As soon as she got out jail, she didn't expect to have a career anymore. Decided to flee the village and not look back, start over. It wasn't easy though, she didn't only lose her career but her whole life, the little savings she had were spent on paying her atty. that did a good job on keeping her from going to prison but left her with criminal records. Some of her relatives and friends were sickened by what she's done and decided not to have anything to do with her. She was able to get up, with the help of her mother and Liam. She did therapy, and with both her brother and mother's encouragement she pursued her second choice to become a veterinary. Liam had offer if she would like to move in his flat, and helped her find a job which she appreciated so much.

Letting a huge sigh, she made it home. She live 10 minutes' walk away from work but going the opposite direction to where Tilly's flat is. Which both didn't have a clue of. They haven't really talk since Tilly's first day at work, avoiding each other since then. It's for the best they both thought.

...

Saturday and Tilly's getting ready for work, Eric called her and ask if she can come to work today because one of the employee called in sick. Since it's the weekend they are sure to be packed and busy, they'd usually call for help from the ones that are off.. Or ask them to work double. After partying till past midnight Tilly was glad she didn't have that bad of a hangover and was gone after noon. So she agreed to go to work for double pay but much to Esther annoyance.  
Unaware that Jen's been called to come to work too.  
Arriving to work, she was greeted by Kent who just then getting off work.  
Oh hey Tilly, how come you're in? He ask putting his coat on.  
Tilly screw up her face, well Eric called me and I had nothing better to do, plus this is extra money for me. Ha! She said cheerful.

Well, good luck' Saturday's usually pretty packed. He warned tapping her back then making his way out. But before he reaches the door, he turns around and said.  
Oh Jen got called in early too, she's getting some stocks inside. She might need help. Right, I'm off... Bye.

Oh shit, Tilly whispered as soon as he's out of the door.  
She then made her way to the back and saw Jen struggling with the boxes she's carrying which looks a bit heavy for one person to carry. She hurried to help her.

Here let me help you, she said lifting the other side.  
Jen wanted to resist but couldn't get herself to speak.

So where are we taking this? She asked

to the kitchen, Jen replied but not looking at her.

They did a couple more trips carrying the same size of boxes, not a single word has been said. Both couldn't help but check out each other when following behind though. Tilly notice how much Thinner Jen is, she can just tell it's been a really rough two years for her. The urge to ask how she's doing and just start a conversation with her is weighing so much on Tilly; she's not a fan of awkward situations. Getting the last box, Tilly started to talk.

So what's on these boxes? She carefully asked….

Jen expected Tilly to say something but when she did she had chills on her spine like it wasn't coming.

Ahhm..hhmmm.. She cleared her throat,.' Supplies for the kitchen' she said avoiding an eye contact.

Tilly gathered that this must be really uncomfortable for Jen so she didn't push it.  
She settled with a nod and said ' ahh see...  
Is that going to be it? She asked as they dropped the last one.

Jen looked at her this time, which cause Tilly to be taken back a bit. She must have forgotten how beautiful Jen was, her brown eyes that draws you closer, hypnotize by it.  
Yes, that's it. Thanks. Jen answered with a weak smile.  
That smile Tilly thought was so beautiful, it's not like one of those that would melt her but she felt it was genuine. Maybe she has forgiven me Tilly thought. She then gave her the same smile.

Right, ehhm..I should probably go do my job now. She said pointing at the door, she realize they were alone in the storage room.

Jen again gave her the same smile and nodded.

Releasing some of the stress, It's not worth holding grudge. Jen thought.  
As Tilly made her way out of the storage, she can't help but check her out.  
Soon as the door closed, she sighed while shaking her head. This is a mess, she whisper….

They both did their jobs, when they think they'd cross path one would go the other way. But it's clear they can't help but look when they get the chance.  
The day has turned into night, both exhausted not only from working but trying to avoid each other. They're counting down the last minute they have work for, but part of them likes the feeling of being so close.

Tilly cleaned up her last costumers table. She must have been feeling last night's session, carrying the wine glass on the tray it wobbles. She tried to save it but was too late, and her first instinct was to bend down to pick up the broken pieces of the glass. Jen heard it and quickly made her way into the kitchen.  
Don't touch it! She shouts, sounding a bit more concern than normal.  
It was too late, Tilly manage to cut her finger.  
Jen bent down and grab her hand, without hesitation she put the cut finger in her mouth and started sucking it to stop it from bleeding.  
This causing Tilly to be unexpectedly arouse, the softness of Jen's lips. She recalls how her lips fits hers so well, how delicious they are.  
Jen grabbed her and took her to the bathroom, with Tilly still in the world of her own.

Wash it then put this'.. Handing her the anti-bacterial cream and Band-Aid. She looked at her, realizing what just happened. Tilly was looking at her with so much confusion which is also mixed with desire.

I've got to go.. She then said rushing towards the door. She felt it too, the longing. Desire. She has to get out of there or else she would've not been able to control herself and do something she's not suppose to. Not allowed to.

Tilly cleaned her cut and did what Jen told her, but not without analyzing what just happened. She could still feel Jen's lips on her finger. If Jen didn't storm out she was sure she would've kissed her. When she looked at her, she was being drawn, like she's on a spell. She wants her so much. Getting out of the bathroom, she quickly cleaned up the mess she made. Rushing out of the kitchen, she even ignored one of the Chef that asked if she was ok.  
Searching all over the Pub, then at the back. She can't find her.

Hey, how come you're still here? Came from their bartender, lighting his cigarette.  
I thought you're off now? He asked looking at his watch.  
Jen went home already, she seemed to be in a hurry. She almost forgot to clock out, had to remind her.

Ah yeah, I've got to go now too..' she replied was disappointed.

Leaving the guy confused.

What's with everyone rushing out tonight? He thought..

...

Back at their Flat, Tilly's been quiet since she got home. Esther and George were so engross to the movie their watching, Laughing while Tilly's blocking the world. She made an excuse about feeling really tired so she'll be calling it the night. Which both understand as they know she had a long day at work. Everything seems clear now, she still have a strong feeling towards Jen. How wrong this is, Tilly isn't seeing it just yet. Her relationship with Esther will be affected, of course. If she certainly still have feelings for Jen, then it would be unfair for Esther. She's been there for her all this time, understands and comforted her when she needed it most. She does love her, but is it fair that she still have feelings for Jen, that she yearns to touch her. And the fact that she's not telling Esther that they work together. It'll will be a mess, Tilly needed to figure out what to do next. She has to end it with Esther rather than lying to her, or cheat on her. She doesn't deserve that, she thought.

...

As soon as Jen got home, she called Sandy asking if she could come over.  
Within minutes, Sandy was there in front of the flat. Jen grabbed her, kiss her forcefully pulling her inside. Hopeful that this will erase the event of today, that whatever she felt towards Tilly was nothing. But why does she wished it was Tilly she's making love with. It cuts her deep, this pain she hopes Sandy can get rid of, she lets her take her. Tears roll down her face, whenever she closed her eyes it's Tilly's face that she sees.

Tilly… she whisper…

…..


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the lovely reviews!

I hope you like this one.

The morning came, both had a rough night. Tilly felt like she just shut her eyes when her alarm went buzzing.  
She grumbles, she was going to get out of bed when she felt Esther's hand laid on her waist. So she slowly removed it and quietly got out of the bed, straight to the bathroom for a quick a shower. As much as she wanted to skip her class today, she just can't. Slacking is the last thing on her list, losing her scholarship wouldn't be an option. Soon as she was ready to go, Esther was just waking up.

Good Morning. She said, rubbing her eyes.  
Tilly turned around and smiled at her.  
Hi, Good morning. Sorry did I wake you up? She asked walking towards her sitting on the edge of the bed near Esther. She then gave a kiss on the forehead.

Hmm.. Nah I need to get ready for Uni now too.' Are you ok? She asked  
noticing the glum look on Tilly's face.

Tilly stared at her a little longer than she had hope. How is she going to tell her about Jen, that she's not quite sure what's been going on in her head. Her and Tilly have been through so much too, it's not like they got together after the whole scandal, that they had a happy ever after, because it's not really. She's been through the same thing Jen's going through; she's been the center of attention but in a bad way at college when she went back to Hollyoak's sixth form. It made her miss Maddie so much, she would always shut everyone up, save her when her world is falling apart. When she graduated, it felt like her life's been renewed. Fresh start in London. While Esther had the special treatment from everyone which she hated. She felt like after her suicide attempt people assumed that she might do it again so they've been extra nice to her. She didn't know which one's fake and for real. It had resulted into mistrusting, misjudging people a lot.  
If Tilly does end it with Esther, how is she going to cope and the fact that Jen is the reason why. But then she hates lying to her, keeping a huge matter to her and the last thing she want to do is cheat on Esther. So she thinks the best thing to do is to call it off. She needs to figure this out. It's going to hurt no matter what. She thought, but the sooner the better. Just imagining Esther's reaction breaks her heart. Then George popped in her head, she decides to tell him first. Hoping he'll understand and can be there for Esther when this all unfolds, the last thing she wants is to lose both Esther and George.

You've been acting weird lately tills, Esther worries. You do know I'm here when you need to talk right? She assured her.

She nodded and smile.  
Just been a rough week for me, you know with work and Uni. But I'll be fine. Don't worry' she said with brooding smile.

I love you babe, Esther sincerely said.

Tilly kissed her on the cheek. 'You too' she replied.  
'I should get going, might miss the bus.' She got up but before she open the door, she looked at Esther one more time, smiled and said 'bye.

Esther was sat there, she's been left with a lot of bad signs from Tilly. She knew something's not right.  
I'm not losing you Tilly, she sighed..

...

Jen woke up with a heavy heart, last night had been rough. She glance on the other side of the bed, Sandy's not there but not long till she could hear her laughing with Liam in the kitchen. She decided to take a quick shower, washing away what it felt like a mistake. Which oppose to why she did it anyway, Sandy is her girlfriend it shouldn't feel wrong. Whatever happened yesterday with Tilly is typical for two people who used to be in a relationship. It's uncomfortable and all sorts of emotions... She thought, trying so hard to convince herself. But she's failing badly as she can't help but think of Tilly again, and again. After her shower she got ready then head to the kitchen.

Good Morning sleepy head, Liam said as she sits beside Sandy.

Hey, Sandy said moving closer to try and get a kiss from Jen.  
Fresh and clean are we, how come you're dressed. Aren't you off today? She asked

drinking her coffee, yep but I do have Uni remember? She respond rather grouchy.

Ohh! Easy, just asking. She respond looking at Liam who also notice the foul mood of Jen this morning.

You ok sis? He asked

Staring at her coffee. She just nodded.

Right well, I'm off to work. It's good to see you Sandy. He got up and touched Jen's shoulder.  
I won't be home tonight sis, footie's with my mates. I'm not driving drunk. Yah know, so I'll be staying at my mates flat for the night. I'm glad sandy's here to keep you company though, right sandy? He winks.

Always! She replied smiling.

Jen on the other hand would rather be home alone.

When Sandy heard the door closed. She got up and grabbing her coat putting it on. Jen wondered what she's doing.

What are you doing? She asked.

Oh you're kidding right? She said and by now looking rather angry.

I'm going home. She added

but why? I thought you wanted to hang out, I have an hour before Uni. And what was all that nice gesture in front of Liam, soon as he left you're acting like this? She asked looking surprise by Sandy's act.

Who's Tilly? She asked infuriated

Jen was gobsmack, she can't believe how stupid she is. Of course she heard her last night.

She wasn't expecting this.

Ah.. Ehm.. She stands up "Listen sandy.

No you listen Jen, this is full of shit. You know that? I am so tired of your hot and cold feeling towards me. I love you Jen, but I am done, I can't just be the person that you call when you feel like it, do you even care about what I feel? I mean come on, when you said you'll try to make it work I trusted you.' Sandy by now was crying.

I'm so sorry.. Jen said giving her a hug. Calming her down.  
I know I've been rubbish with you, you don't deserve that. Just let me try and work this out, yah!? It's going to be alright' She tried to convince her.

No Jen, sandy said moving away. Shaking her head" I've heard this so many times. I'm tired of hoping that one day you'll say you love me back and treat me as if I'm your Girlfriend not just someone you call when you wanted to get laid. Sorry but I think it's best if we'll just end this. She cries

No Sandy, I promise you I will make it work. We will make it work. Please don't do this. She pleads.

I'm sorry Jen, maybe this Tilly is the reason why this didn't work.  
I'm going, you take care of yourself yah? She said hugging Jen one last time.

Jen can't do anything but watch her leave. Stood in the kitchen not knowing what to do next, Sandy's last comment about Tilly being the reason why making Jen fall on her knees and hysterically crying like her hearts being shred into pieces.

...

After what seems like hours of her crying, Jen finally got up from the floor. She saw the leftover wine on the kitchen counter, not even caring to put pour it on a wine glass. She drank it straight from the bottle. After emptying the bottle, she looked on the fridge and pantry if they have more. She groan cause she can't find anymore. Putting her coat on, she went to the Pub, she didn't care if she had Uni that day. She missed it anyways, it's gone past lunch.

Oi, Jen. What brings you here? The bartenders asked not use to seeing Jen at work when she's off.

Just making my day better, it's been shit since I woke up. She said with a fake smile then she orders hard drink.

She drank the whole thing in one swig. She winced at the strong taste of it.

'Woah, wait slow down there. It's only midday and you're drinking that thing like it's water and past midnight.' He said concern.

Well isn't that the best thing in world and perfect time to get wasted. And I live just a few blocks away, no point on stopping me. I'm not driving! She said lifting her glass asking for a re-fill.  
The Bartender shakes his head, well how about I make you cocktail for now, slow it down a bit, yah? He asked hoping Jen would agree.

Whatever, make me one then. 'She said pushing her glass Away from her.

Here, I made it extra special for you. And slow it down, this is known to hit you hard when you drink it fast. He laughs

Jen took it and sip on it a little. 'That's good' she said mixing the drink.

So what's up? I mean there's got to be a reason for this right? He asked hoping Jen will open up.

Resting her elbow on the counter, she sighed looking at her drink then at the guy.

Not sure if she'll tell him the truth.

You know Sandy right? She asked

Ahuh, yah! I think I've seen her a couple times. What about her?

Well, she broke up with me this morning. 'She frankly said. Part of her says that's the reason why she's upset, but she knew it's more about Tilly. How she can't control herself, her thoughts. It has been all about Tilly, her ache to touch her, kiss her. But it isn't supposed to happen and in her book, it's not allowed. She's not going back there, it hurts so much. It's like a Constant reminder of how stupid she had been, she has loosed too much to even go back.

Oh Jen, I'm sorry. He genuinely said. His seen them together before and he thought they make cute couple.  
I'm not going to push you to open up to me and all that but I'm just here when you need someone. He sympathetically said touching Jen's hand.

Thanks... I'll keep that in mind. She smiled

...

Tilly's just about done with Uni, Hardly listening to the lecture she looked at her finger, she can't help but recall the whole event. She can't believe Jen did that, she wonder if it was somebody else that got cut, If she'll do the same, she remembers the concern gaze from Jen which she's pretty sure turn into longing. It's also the same look of concern when she was taken to the hospital after that fire back in Hollyoaks. Sure that was a different situation but there was a similarity to it. She slowly run the cut finger on her lips, and then closes her eyes for quick second. She craves for her lips, her touch. She's sure she won't be able to control herself the next time she sees her.


	7. Chapter 7

Enjoy :)

Finishing her 4th glass she calls for more.

The Bartender shakes his head.

Don't you think you've had enough Jen? He asked concerned

Just one more though, and that's it. I'm out of here after. She pleads paying for her drinks.

Ok but that's it, I won't be serving you anymore. He points out taking the money.

Yes, geezzz.. She groans.

-

Tilly's all ready for work, she made her way downstairs. She heard George come home.

Hey, how's Uni?

It's fine, you're off to work? He ask

Ahuh, she said walking past him..  
Ehmm, George' she spun around.

Are you free tonight? I mean when I'm home from work.. She asked

Yah sure, why?

Err.. I have something to tell you.. she said hesitant.

Hmm.. What about? He glared

She paused for a bit. She decides it's better not to give a hint.

Tonight, I've got to go.. I'm going to be late.. said rushing towards the door putting her coat on.

8:30! I'll be knocking at your door, yah?! She said before getting out.

Fine! George shouts..

-

Not long till she made it to work, getting in from the back straight to the storage room..

Hey tills, came from Kent who peak his head on the door..

Oh hey, what's up? She wondered

Erm, we need your help. He said unclear

Yeess, I'm coming.. Geezz is it that busy? It's Monday... she said rolling her eyes.

Ah no, I meant i need your help with Jen. She's out in the bar getting wasted. He explained

Jen? 'How come? She hurried walking past Kent who followed her. She stopped when she saw Jen, who has both her elbows on the counter with her head resting on her hand. She's sure looks drunk.

Listen Tilly, Eric's going to be here any minute and he won't be happy to see Jen at that state. The fact that she works here even if she's off.. He explained

But why is she drinking at this time of the day, and it looks as if she started earlier? She asked not happy to see Jen looking like this.

It's a matter of heart I think.

Tilly looked at him, hoping he'll spill some more.

I heard her Girlfriend broke up with her this morning. But I'm not sure, I mean really don't care. That's her life you know.' He said knowing that Tilly hates it when they gossip about other people's life.

Tilly didn't like hearing that Jen had a girlfriend or was in a relationship for that matter. It has been 2 years, of course she's moved on. Even though she's with Esther now too, it hurts her to know Jen was with somebody else.. Feeling rather selfish. If her girlfriend did in fact broke up with her she must be certainly hurt right now and Tilly would be the last person she wants to see.

So what are we going to do? She asked

Well I was going to take her home but I just got to work like you, I can't really make an excuse of why I'm not here yet. I'm not a Uni student like you. Or he would understand.

So what are you saying? That I will take her home? She asked hoping otherwise..  
And I don't even know where she lives. She added

Please, if you don't mind. Eric will understand if we tell him you called in saying you're going to be late cause of Uni. He suggested  
She lives just a few blocks away, here let me write her address.

Tilly wasn't sure this is a good idea but then looks at Jen again. She realize she can't let her get in trouble, and there's no way she's letting Jen walk home drunk even in broad daylight..

Fine, but make sure me and Jen doesn't get in trouble. She snapped taking the address he wrote on a piece of paper.

She made her way to where Jen was sitting at. She touched her shoulder.

Jen? Come on, I'd be walking you home.. She carefully said

Now what? How many times do I have to tell you guys I'm fine..  
She turned around and it's bit blur for her so she waited till her sight became clear... 'I can' ..She stopped realizing it was Tilly talking to her.

She took a deep breath. Turn back around. Sinking in the last of her drink..  
I'm fine' she spat out

It doesn't look like it to me.. Tilly snapped back.  
Come on, let's go before Eric gets here. 'she took a hold of Jen's arm.

Don't touch me! You don't get to touch me Tilly. She protests, trying to get Tilly's grip off her arm. Then they laid eyes, she could see the hurt on Tilly's eyes. Totally regretting what she said. Of course she didn't mean it, she's hurt too at this point. Tilly's causing all of this, and she comes out of nowhere to save her. Isn't that ironic she thought.

Grabbing her Purse she got up a little too fast for her state, she shifted but glad it's not towards Tilly.. She balanced herself with the help of the chair beside her. When she thought her bodies ready she started walking towards the door.

Tilly was indeed hurt by what Jen has said. Of course it did. That's what she wished to do, to touch Jen, feel her. And for her to get shut down like that cuts deep. She watched Jen struggling to even make it to the door. There's no way she's letting her walk home alone like this.

She went straight ahead of Jen.  
She opened the door for her, much to Jen's annoyance.

She groan..

Soon as the fresh air hits her, Jen felt sick. Inhaling deep, hoping it helps.

Fuck I'm so drunk.. She moan holding her head..

Listen Jen, I will walk you home whether you like it or not ok. You can complain all you want, i don't care. And i won't be touching you either. Just let me make sure you get home safe. Tilly explains.

Jen's too drunk to even respond to her, secretly she's happy to be so close with Tilly who still cares for her.

Tilly let Jen walk ahead of her, smirking at how unsteady she's walking. Bumping with the people going the opposite way and apologizing as they go. Tilly had enough of Jen's stubbornness, she's not going to wait till she stumbles down.

She grabbed Jen's hand and putting it around her neck then wrapping her arm on her waist.

Jen was shocked, she looked at her mouth wide open. She wants to resist but she doesn't have the strength to do so.

A few minutes later, they made it to Jen's flat. Tilly can't believe how close it is to their flat. What's her luck?

They made their way inside after what felt like ages of Tilly trying to get the right key for the door. Jen had a key chain that has almost 10 keys on it and she wasn't really helpful as she's close to passing out.  
She helped Jen get rid of her coat then her boats. Still holding Jen, who's by now leaning her head on Tilly's shoulder. She was struggling a bit but lucky for her, the first door she checked was Jen's room. Filled with her old paintings, a very tidy room, colorful and smells just like her. She let Jen Sit at the edge of the bed, the she open the blanket for her. Jen moans at the feel of the bed, seconds later she dozed out. Tilly couldn't help but stare, she move closer and sat herself on the edge. She moved the hair that fell on Jen's face, hesitating but like it's a force of nature she slowly moved her hand down to her jaw line she stops just below her chin. Lifting her thumb as she run it on Jen's bottom lips, the softness of it brings tingles into her spine. Unconsciously licking her own lips, just how much she want to kiss her is unbearable. She slowly move her face towards Jen's, stopping when she's about half an inch close, she listened to her breathing and the warm of it just sent her to heights. Then she closed the gap...Seconds leter she pulled away, tears have form in her eyes. Her love for Jen never fades, in fact she thinks she loves her more than she's ever did before. She got up, causing her tears to quickly fall. Then she heard Jen groan, she looked at her.

Tilly, she whispers..  
She rush to her side,  
Hey I'm here.. What it is?  
Jen opens her eyes for a few seconds then closing them again, smiling a little.  
You're so Beautiful'.. She said as if she's only dreaming, she muttered a few more words. Then back to deep sleep.

-

The next day came, Jen's morning has been rough as hell. A massive headache and she's been sick since she woke up. Getting out of the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. Smiling to herself as she recall her dream. That kiss from Tilly, she thought. It felt real.  
Feeling sick again, she hurried to the toilet.

What the heck happened yesterday, she thought! She grabbed some meds then into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  
Oh that feels good, she sighed after drinking the whole glass.

She looked at the time, she have 30 minutes before Uni. If she has a choice she won't be going back to school but she's got so much she wants to do in her life and to not have a career isn't going to take her nowhere.

She groan..

After a quick shower, she felt much better and the medicine seems to have taken its part. She didn't have much time to do her hair so she tied it on a ponytail. Running towards the door she bumps into Liam.

Woah sis, wait are you just getting off for Uni? Checking his watch.

You're going to be late. He stated

Jen cringe.. I know.

Here let me give you a lift. He offered

Really?

Yes, come on.

The rush of the morning helped with her hangover a bit. It took her mind off things, about Sandy and what happened yesterday. She tried to recall how she got home, it was hard for her but she knew Tilly was in it, maybe she got to work when I left she thought.. She shake her head, she'll get the full story tonight when she gets to work. Nothing pass the mighty all gossip man that is Kent.

You look of a mess Jen, Liam tells her

Did you and Sandy took advantage of me being out for the night? He jokes

You're kidding, she left right after you. We broke up, she got tired of my shit I guess.. She was blunt.

What? How come? She seems fine when i left. Liam was surprised

I don't know Liam, and I swear i don't give a damn. She made the decision on her own, does she think I'd go after her?! Well there's no way.. She said holding her head.

Liam pulled over near the gate of the Uni.

Do you want to talk about it later? He asked concern about her sister.

Nope, I'm good. Just a bit of hangover which I'll get over soon.  
Thanks for the lift though, she said getting out of the car.  
Bye..

Liam just waved at her.. Feeling sorry for his her again.

-

Tilly had a different Morning, She was able to talk to George last night. Lucky for her he understood everything, but he isn't happy she kept it this long. He warned her about the consequences if this and loosing Esther is the number one outcome of it. He insisted there might have been more to this than helping Jen, something that Tilly admitted. Causing George to be really disappointed, but in the end he promised her that he'll always be there for her no matter what. He thinks it's best to be honest with Esther and she needs to let her know as soon as possible. Tilly was very happy with the outcome of their conversation, she expected him to be against all of this but it was the opposite. Besides he noticed that Tilly wasn't that happy with Esther anyways, he feels like their relationship was expected not wanted. Whatever that makes them both happy, that's where his going. One or the other will end up hurt but the sooner it's revealed the easier to heal.

After Jen have said those words last night, Tilly felt as if her world stops spinning for a second. She didn't expect Jen to even say such nice words to her.

She stayed for half an hour more, just watching her sleep. Realizing how much she had missed her, she wanted to just cuddle up beside her, hold her tight never letting go. She was so close to doing it but she might just fall into deep sleep with her then wake up the next day with a frightened Jen. Not when she's drunk she giggled to herself. She stands up from where she's sitting on the edge of the bed and started looking around Jen's room. Admiring her paintings, she paused noticing what look to her like the gourmley's behind her desk. Lifting it up, she was stunned to see a big tear in the middle obviously done purposely. It breaks her heart as this painting, the gourmleys is all about them and she knew Jen put too much time and work on it. She can picture how Jen had cope during those days, even till now. She walk her way back to Jen's bed, soon as she sat down the picture on the bedside caught her eye, it's of a happy looking Jen and Sandy their faces were so close together.  
She swallowed hard, can't contain the pain that's building up in her chest. Glancing at Jen one more time, she rush out of room then out in the street. She looks as if she has seen a ghost, all sorts of things were running through her mind. Two years have passed, she's still very much in love with Jen. But it's too late now as Jen's obviously have moved on. Which she's very much wrong about.

Tilly was nearing her time off work, she was dreading getting home cause tonight is the night she has decide to call it off with Esther. And tell her about Jen, just be completely honest with her. Either way she'll end up being the bad person, and there's no way Esther's talking to her after this. But she's hopeful, knowing how understanding Esther had been maybe she will be on this, Again.

Walking towards the Kitchen, Eric called for her.

Tilly, you have a minute?

Yes? What's up? She asked.

Do you think you can extend a few more hours tonight? I'm really short of employees tonight, maybe until Jen comes in? Make up for your late show up yesterday. He said.

She thinks about it for a few seconds, realizing Eric's not giving her a choice really.

That's alright.. A few hours, like 3 more hours? She asked

He nodded.  
Thanks Tilly, you rock. He said patting her back..

I guess that'll give me more time to think of ways to make this easier for Esther she thought.

-

Jen got to work same time, always half an hour early.

Oh hi Jen, calls the Chef as she walk pass the kitchen..

She smiled not really in the mood for a chit chat.

How's the head? He teased

She rolled her eyes, its fine' she replied.

Right well you probably should thank Tilly for taking you home yesterday.

Causing her to give him a look, checking if he's serious.

Tilly? She asked

Yep, I think she's still in work so there's your chance. He smiled

All this time she thought it was a just dream, she did woke up this morning feeling like Tilly had been really close to her. She could smell her, but she was too busy nursing her head to even care recalling how she got home. She peek through the door, she spotted Tilly right away. As usual she couldn't help but stare, she's so beautiful she thought.. Her eyes widen... Shit, i hope not.. She whispered. She Had a feeling yesterday wasn't a dream.

Hope not what? came from Kent who's standing behind her.

She gasp. Nothin'

You feeling better today? He asked

It's alright. She muttered

I was so glad Tilly agreed to take you home yesterday. You know I can't and the other Uni dude's off so Tilly was the best option. Eric didn't find out so you're welcome. He said

How much of a state was I? She worries

Well I tried to stop you but of course you resisted, then Jake (the bartender) too. You tried to resist Tilly's offer to walk you home but she didn't let you win. Followed you towards the door, you were a mess Jen. He nudged her.

Oh god, she said.

Yep.. She said you cooperated midway through your walk though. Tucked you into bed then came back here.

Jen was speechless, not by embarrassment but on what might have really happened and what she thought was a dream.

You ok there? He waves his hand in front of her.

Erm yah..

Just then the door opened, Tilly walking backwards to open the door. Holding a tray of her clean up. She immediately laid eyes with Jen, who look rather confused.

Tilly, hey.. Here, let me take that. Grabbing the tray.. 'Why don't you tell Jen how she got home, because she's rather confuse. He smiled leaving them to take the tray away.

Tilly swallowed hard, feeling rather guilty. And intensely uncomfortable to be standing in front of Jen.

Oh please don't let her remember about the kiss, she thought.

Ermm, How you feeling? Tilly asked

Snapping Jen out of her thoughts.

Ahm, much better... Thanks' she quietly said

They were quiet for a few seconds, Jen still feeling really confuse.

Can we take this to the storage room? She asked nervously

Making Tilly raise her eyebrows.

Sure, she said walking ahead.

Tilly purposely walked towards the far corner of the room, afraid of the short distance from Jen. But she wasn't aware of what's about to happen. Jen closed the door, and slowly made her way towards Tilly who by now standing arms crossed. Watching every step Jen made, hoping she'd stop but nope Jen carried on walking until she's only a few inches away from her face. Swallowing hard.

She looks at Jen, trying to read her mind. But it was blank, just a stare not like what she saw before.

Thanks for taking me home yesterday, she said still not giving in with her feelings. Trying her best to keep a straight face. Not yet at least, she just needed a confirmation.

Tilly's mouth opens wanting to say a word but she's mesmerized by the beauty in front of her. She didn't want to say a word. She wants to kiss her, so bad. She swallowed hard again then nodded.

Did you kiss me? Jen asked almost right away

Causing Tilly's breathing to speed up. By this time, she was beyond nervous. She could feel the hot breath coming from Jen as she talks. She was so close, so so close to her.  
She has to come up with something that'll end it with another kiss because she'll die if she can't feel those lips, taste them. She needed it.

I'm afraid I did. She finally said

Getting the confirmation she needed, she pulled Tilly by her waist and slammed her lips on hers. Shocking Tilly but in the best way possible she moved her hands towards Jen's face cupping it then around her neck, they kissed as if there's no more tomorrow. Their tongues dancing around, moans after moans. They breathe each other. They stop for a couple seconds gasping for air, their foreheads touching.  
I've missed you soo much.. Jen whispered her other hands now on Tilly's face.  
Tears roll down Tilly's face. Which Jen notice.  
Are you ok? She asked wiping her tears  
Tilly looked at her, giving her a very loving smile.  
I've wanted to kiss you for days now. I've miss you too, soo much. I never thought I'd be able to do this to you again, or if I am even allowed. Last night, It wasn't the same because you didn't kiss me back. She jokes

Jen smiled, she had been thinking the same thing, and it felt better knowing it wasn't just her who felt that way.

She kissed her again.


	8. Chapter 8

Here's your next chapter. Sorry for the delay, I couldn't get myself to sit down and write, not much of a motivation. I had to watch Jelly videos and it did help and of course your lovely reviews. :) a bit rushed, but hope you like it :) and to whoever that said about sending me Twix? Yes please... :)

Two years had passed and yet it's obvious how much they still love each other. It's becoming so clear to them why all this months and years have been so empty, like something's missing, holding them back. While Jen tried to get her life back on track, it didn't cross her mind why she's been bitterly rejecting anyone that make a pass on her, it was hard for her to trust again. Lucky for her Sandy had put up with her hot and cold treatment well up until recently that she couldn't handle it anymore. At one point maybe it did cross her mind that it was her feelings for Tilly that hadn't died causing her to be bitter, but she thought it was easier to deny it. To ignore it even. Right now though that's hard to do when she's in front of her, denying is that last thing she wants to do. And there's no way possible can she ignore it. Jen just know she loves her as much, holding her right here and now she felt whole again, both remembering the good memories and hopefully be able to just accept the nasty ones. Where and how are they going to start from this, both had no clue, there's so much to talk about but they choose to just savor the moment for now. Jen was about to say something when they both heard somebody coming to the storage room. They pulled apart reluctantly.

Oi, you two! Aren't you guys coming to help out? Kent complained pooping his head from the door.

I'm coming, Jen said. Tilly's just giving me the details about yesterday. Be there in a few.' Walking towards the door where Kent's now leaning, closing the door forcing him to move. Then she turn back around, she's meet with a very adoring look from Tilly, biting her lips she walk towards Jen hugging her so tight, Making Jen smile returning the tight hug. Breathing each other.

Tilly.. Jen whispered still in tight embrace.

Tilly pulled away a little, looking directly into Jen's beautiful brown eyes. Leaning for a gentle kiss on her lips she rubbed her cheeks on Jen's then she whispered ' meet me, please.' Later?' Looking at Jen for reaction.

'It doesn't matter what time. When you get off work?' Tilly was almost begging.

Then there was another knock on the door. 'Come on Jen' shouts Kent from the other side of the door.

Coming! Jen shouts back...

I've got to go, but yes Tilly. I'd really like that, no I love that.. I'd love to see you later. Jen said, rubbing Tilly's hand pulling her for another kiss.  
She pulled away hesitantly, smiling at each other until Jen left the room. Soon as the door closed, Tilly felt like she's the happiest she's been in two years. Then she frowned, she hasn't got Jen's number so how can she get meet her later.

Getting out of the storage, she's met with Jen's warm smile who has been waiting for Tilly to come out of the storage as she talk to the chef. Rather distracted, she just wants to see Tilly again.

Tilly, I thought you're done for the night? The chef ask noticing Tilly

Oh ahm, yah.. I'm just now.. She's startled, she looks at Jen smirking at her. Then down to her pocket, she noticed her phone. She had an idea.

'Jen, I thought you were going to let me use your phone, remember mine is dead. Least you can do after I took you home yesterday. She smirked back.

Jen got confused at first, furrowing her forehead. Finally realizing what Tilly's up to, she shakes her head smiling.

Right, sorry.. I forgot. Kent happened you know, kept distracting. She said handing Tilly her phone. But as soon as she hands her the phone, she panic' wanting to get the phone back but Tilly snapped it quick.

Well, you better be, she smiled unlocking the phone, her smile turned into horror. Jen's wallpaper is of her and Sandy the same picture that was in her bedroom.

Here let me help you with that,excuse us for a bit, she said to the chef.  
She pulled Tilly with her, out of the pub from the back.

All of this happened yesterday Tilly, I mean I haven't really updated anything yet and I'm sure you've also notice the same exact picture on my bedside. Look I've only been with her for a few months, to be honest I never really felt anything special for her, this explains a lot, you, Us! She said thoughtfully.

It's ok Jen, I understand.' She said but the look of hurt is written all over her face. A lot of things were running through her mind, what if Jen's in love with this woman and she's just using her, maybe get revenge. But Tilly up until now can read Jen's body language, facial expressions, she knew it's genuine. And the way she kiss and touch her she could feel the love. She felt rather embarrassed because she couldn't hide her emotion, she love this woman in front of her that's for sure.

Here, I removed it. Jen said showing Tilly her phone. Trust me Tilly, whatever this is I feel for you I want to know, i need to know. I'm sure you are itching to know too, you felt it when we kissed right? Jen move forward touching Tilly's arm. Which cause Tilly to stiffen a bit, 'you feel that?' Jen ask, ' Tilly, that is what i feel, you only have to look at me.

Tilly was touched by what Jen said, she was about to give her a kiss when the backdoor opens.

Oi Tilly, I was looking for you.. You're girlfriend's out there waiting for you. He said then shuts the door.

Shit, Tilly whisper

she looks at Jen. Who's clearly not happy. This time it was her turn to give an assuring word, hoping Jen would trust her.

Go, Jen said glumly. Why did I even bother explaining and convincing you when…

Sshhh.. Tilly cuts her out.  
Causing Jen to frown.

Tilly grab Jen's phone from her hand then typed her phone number. She rings it so she gets Jen's number too.  
Then she hands it back, 'I will call you and you better answer.' She said being bossy. Which Jen thought was so adorable.  
I've got to go, and for your information I intended to end with Esther tonight even before this happened. She swallowed hard then looks down, 'I hope she takes it easy. Which is probably a Wishful thinking..' She muttered.

Returning her gaze at Jen with a loving smile Which Jen returns. 'You don't have to do it, if it hurts you so much.' Jen suggested  
Tilly shakes her head.  
I have to be honest with her, and to myself. Jen you, it's you who I want to be with even after all this years and what we've been through. Please, we need to talk this through.' moving closer to Jen. She touched her face, 'please?'

Jen shuts her eyes, feeling the warmth of Tilly's hand leaning to it. Tilly then closes the gap kissing Jen softly.

-

Ok so how was work? Esther asked clinging onto Tilly as they walked home.  
Sorry, I just got really worried. You're supposed to be home 3hrs ago and you didn't call or text to let us know you're working late. She explained.

Oh, it was just really busy tonight. I was going to do it but got distracted.'

Sooo... Esther sway, walking backwards smiling at Tilly.

Soo? Tilly ask confused

Do you know what today is?

Today? Tuesday.. What about it?

Esther rolled her eyes.. Babe, it's our monthsary today. 4 months! She said nudging her.

Oh.. Sorry I forgot.

Oh Evans, you're lucky I love you or else I would let you make up for that. She said..

Tilly's eyes widen at Esthers words. Why does she have to be so happy, she thought.

For what felt like hours of walking they made it to their flat, as usual George being the chef of the house is in the kitchen making dinner dancing and singing away to whatever's on the radio.

There you are what took you guys long? He asked

They had me work late. Not much choice.' Tilly responds as she slump herself on the sofa. Joined by Esther.

George studied Tilly for a sec., he felt so bad for her friend. If he can do it for her he would but this is a situation Tilly put herself into. He knows that this must have been killing her, she hates lying, to herself and everyone she cares about. He's not against it but he's sure not as keen as Tilly with the whole Jen thing. He can't really tell Tilly who to love and not to, when it comes to that matter he knew Tilly can't be tamed.

Right, so dinner's serve. I was kind of hoping you guys brought some wine?' He said shaking his head.

Well, I could poop to the store real quick, Esther suggested.

Would you mind? George smiled.

Ok, I'd be right back... She waves.

George went to sit beside Tilly on the sofa.

Soooo… did you? He ask cringing.

Well, she's still very happy looking isn't she so there's the answer. She said turning to George.

What am I going to do? She's going to be so upset, she'll hate me for this. And what if you know, she worries " what if she tries to kill herself again. Oh god George I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. She cries

Oh tills, don't say that. I don't think Esther would go that far. She has change, I mean this is a different case. Before she was bullied and right now, you're being honest to her because you care for her. You don't want her to find out the other way.'

'Right now it's unfair for her that you're hiding stuff like this but then it would be unfair to you if you're not happy with her and remain in a relationship with her just so she doesn't get hurt. This is life tills, we all get to that point.' He said rubbing her back.

Did you talk to Jen today?

Tilly sniffs and wiped her tears. She nods

And? He urge

She couldn't help but smile as she remembers what happened. They didn't hear Esther come in.

George I love her.' Tilly starts

Esther heard this and smiled assuming it was her Tilly's talking about.

I still love her after all this years, after what we've been through. Tilly continued.

Esther by now was confused, she waits for more.

When she kissed me, oh George' she bites her lips as she recall. 'I felt like every part of me come alive' I wish we had more time to talk but she had to work and Esther came.

Hearing this makes Esther cry, she covered her mouth hoping they didn't hear her. She composed herself taking a deep breath, she walks towards them.

Hey you guys. Got us some wine… she faked a smile.

Causing Tilly and George to panic, they can't even say a word.

Did I miss anything? She added

Ahh, nope not really.. George finally was able to answer. 'Here let me take that.. George stands up taking the wine from Esther.

You ok Babe? She asks Tilly.

Tilly studied her, hoping she didn't hear their conversation. Esther doing a great job hiding her anger with her fake smile.

Yep, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess'.. Getting up from the sofa 'Shall we eat?' misreading Esther.


	9. Chapter 9

I might be able to update tomorrow :) I'm halfway through chap 10 :) X

Jen was counting down the time till she's off work. She felt as if time's moving ten times slower, she just can't wait to see Tilly any longer. There are obviously a lot for them discuss about, what to do next and that. She knew it wasn't going to be a smooth sail for them. This situation isn't any easier than before, when they have to hide and her careers on stake. But it isn't going to stop her, she's been through so much' the happiest she had been was when she's with Tilly. Maybe she's meant to be irrational when it comes to love, she likes the challenge and Tilly gives her that. Life's too short, you only find the person that completes you and for her that's Tilly. So there's no way she's letting go this time.

She checks her phone again, not a call or text from Tilly yet and times not on her side either, two more excruciating hours. It was so hard for her not to worry, what if Tilly choose to be with Esther. Maybe she learned to love Esther through the years.

Arghh! She groans.

Having a bad night are we? Kent asked

She shakes her head..  
'I just want to go home now.' I feel like i haven't gotten any good sleep lately.

Tsk tsk, two hours. That's it Jen. It's going to go by quick. He pats her back, 'check table 4 for now yah. He teased  
making her groan again.

-

Back at Tilly's, it hasn't gone the way Tilly had plan because Esther made an excuse about doing a group studies again so she left right after dinner. Unknown to them, Esther did hear their conversation and she's been pretending to be fine. They asked her a few times during their dinner if she was ok since she's gone quiet then all of a sudden excusing to be out all night.

I don't know Tills, she's been just awfully quiet since she came back from the store. George said a bit concerned.

You think she heard us? Tilly ask

Maybe, maybe not. George was unsure

Well that isn't helping is it? Tilly sighs.

Wait let me call her. She stands pacing the floor as she rings her.

Almost right away Esther answered rather cheerful. Tilly asked where she's at, and what time she'll be back tomorrow.

Hanging up, Tilly's somewhat suspicious.

Is she ok? George asked

'She sound ok, but I Could hear music and people laughing like she's at a party not a group studies. She said She'll go straight to Uni tomorrow so she'll be here around noon.' Tilly explained

Party? George ask confused

Yes, but I don't know as I focused on what Esther's telling me. She sound happy though, compare to when we are having dinner. Tilly said puzzled  
Well let's not worry too much.. Maybe she did not hear us, who knows what she's up to. But make sure tomorrow you talk to her, are you going to be home when she gets back?

'I have Uni but I should be back before noon'

Well text me if anything, so I can come home and be there for her.  
You know, this is getting really ridiculous tills.

I know, I was going to do it tonight. She tells him

Yah I know, but it shouldn't be this hard. I mean we both love Esther but if we're going to baby her every time' it's hard to make decision cause you always have to think of how she's going to cope with it. Well it's unfair for her that we have to give her special treatment, she hates that but it's just hard let our guard down. Frankie did warn us about her 'self-pityness' after the suicide attempt.

Tilly stares on the wall but taking in what George's saying. She's thinking how stupid of her to get it this far, leading Esther to believe this will work. She was happy with her, it's just wasn't the same intensity of happiness when she's with Jen. Everything feels right with Jen, even if it's wrong to everyone else's eyes.

Tilly's lost.

I have no idea what to do George, the guilt is weighing on me. 'I' she sighed  
I just can't be with her anymore but I'm worried she'll do something stupid. She cries.

Oh tills, come here' he pulled her for a tight hug.

Listen, it's going to be fine. I'm here remember' I'll help you. I think you're being so hard on yourself tills. He said rubbing her back

As they pulled away, George game her a sympathetic smile.

Get yourself to bed, tomorrow's another day. Another chance to make things right, I'm sure this isn't as big of a deal like what we thought.

Tilly looked at him, happy to have a very supportive friend. She gave him another hug.

Thanks George, what would I do without you eh? She said playfully nudging his chest

Don't be cheesy. That's what I'm here for isn't it. And a good cook too, so a win win.. He jokes

Causing tilly to smile, 'I love you babe' she sincerely said

Love you too tills. Hugging one last time.

Right goodnight.

Night.

-

Tilly sat down on the edge of the bed, she relaxed herself rubbing her neck. It has been a stressful night for her. She was about to remove her shoes when her thoughts went back to Jen.

Argghh.. Dang it' she said grabbing her phone quickly.. She checks the time, it's almost time for Jen to get off work. Not happy she has forgotten to contact her all night as she promised she would. The whole deal with Esther have distracted her, she felt bad Jen had to be dragged on this situation again. She's meant to be living her own life, without Tilly or Esther and not allowing them back again but when they locked eyes, she knew it was impossible to not see the connection, there's still so much for them to pick up and maybe build it up from where their at now. The good times they had is obviously out winning the bad ones. They were in love, but were dragged into a situation where either can't choose to do the right thing, both scared to lose each other. Jen primarily made the huge faults, which Tilly somewhat understands why she did what did and in time she wants an explanation from Jen. She knew there's so much to talk over, Dig from the past, clear things out, to get a clear view for the future. She wants to understand Jen as much as she wants to be with her. For her Jen is one of kind person, very smart, sophisticated, adventurous and extremely beautiful. How the heck did she turn to be the person she was back in hollyoaks she's aching to know. Tilly recalling everything from the past, she can't help but get so turned on one of the steamy nights her and Jen shared. Their love shack, Jen's abersoch appearance, oh and the two nights they got to spend together. How Jen made her feel so good, and she then can't believe she's allowed to touch her, that beautiful human being. When they both finally confessed they love each other, and how it went downhill from the moment they realize how much they want to be together. When they realize that they're into deep, how they both got too scared to give in so much, afraid the other doesn't feel the same way. Causing them to not trust, When Jen lied to Tilly about Esther she knew telling her otherwise will be the end them, which lead to another lie. She was mostly living in the lie hoping to not lose Tilly. When it finally came out, she didn't expect Tilly to go against her the way she did. She thought if Tilly did love and care for her why the heck would she want to ruin her career well in fact Tilly didn't have any intentions on doing so. There was no way Tilly would do that to her, it was the lack of communication that did it. They did love each other so much, but the key pieces were missing for their relationship to work, and that's trust and communication.  
And that's exactly the first thing that tilly wants to do, to understand Jen, communicate with her, gain her trust cause damn she's not losing this woman again.

-

She walk's home, the gloomiest she's been in a while, well considering she's already sad as it is she felt as if her life's going nowhere, no purpose. She checks her phone again, for what felt like a hundredth times hoping for Tilly to pop on her screen every time. She's very disappointed, no actually that's an understatement it's more like rejected, again. Kicking every rock she would walk across at. Then her phone vibrated in her pocket causing her to get butterflies, she pulled it out and check who it is.

She groans loud, Fucckk she said out loud, not caring if people could hear her.  
It was Liam that texted her. Telling her, he's not home yet working overtime and might crash at his mate's house.  
She replied back, and quickly putting it back in her pocket. She sighed, and then started walking again. She finally made it home, she felt so tired, she search for the keys on her bag as she walk up the 3 steps in front of the house. She cursed as she's having a hard time finding it.

Drunk again, are we? Came from a voice behind her.

She stiffen, she knows that voice.  
Turning around, she was met by an adorable looking Tilly who's wearing a hoody trying to disguise. Goosebumps spread across her skin, on this cold night its usual but this is a different. She couldn't say a word. Causing Tilly to smile then shakes her head as she approaches her.

Here let me have a look, she said taking the bag from Jen.

Jen just watch her.

Ahh got it, Tilly happily said showing Jen the keys.  
'Here, you have like millions of keys in there, since you don't smell of a drunken state would you mind opening your door? She teased, hoping Jen snaps out of her daze.

She shakes the keys inches from her face which did the trick.

Jen took the keys from her..

Errmm, sorry' Just tired. She explains as she went to open the door.

Oh is it now? I say you didn't think I was showing up so you were kicking every single rock you come across hoping that'll make you feel better.  
Tilly said smirking behind Jen who seems to be struggling to open the door.

After 4 tries, she finally got the right key. She went in but not followed by Tilly.  
She removed her boats and coats, putting it on the rack she notice Tilly is still outside.

What, aren't you coming in?, it's cold. She stated

I don't think so, Tilly teased.

Jen looked at her rather confused.

'Oh so you'd rather stay out there in the cold?' She asked

well I don't mind, it's not any warmer in there anyways. People are rather giving me the cold treatment. She playfully said.

This cause Jen to gathered what Tilly's on about. She shakes her head a smile form on her face.

So? Tilly played

So, what? Jen replied now playing along

I am not even getting a hug or a kiss? She said now looking rather shy.

Jen didn't need any more word, she went and grab Tilly by her hoody and pull her inside. She kissed her forcefully, as Tilly close the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks again for the lovely reviews. Keep them coming, they are my motivation.. right, I'm heading to bed now' finally :) ..

Enjoy!

Jen cupped her face, up to her hair removing the hood so she could have a clear look of Tilly's face. They pulled away from that long and ravenous kiss, they smiled lovingly at each other.

'Hi,' was the only word Jen could say. Her tone's a bit shaky, her hearts beating so fast and loud she's sure Tilly could hear it.

'Hello,' Tilly's respond almost whispering.

Jen nudges her nose against Tilly's, causing Tilly to wrinkle it..  
I'm so happy you're here, this close to me.' Jen seductively said engulfing her lips again. She pulled her from the waist this time, wanting to feel the whole of Tilly.

Tilly's overwhelmed by Jen's touch, who by now has her hands under her top.  
Jen then slowly move the kisses to Tilly's neck, sucking it hard that Tilly groans with pleasure. Tilly felt lost in her touch, but as much as she wants them to take this further she knew they have so much to discuss.  
She pulled away causing Jen to sulk and scowl. Tilly cupped Jen's face then beamed assuring her nothing's wrong.

'Don't you want to talk first?' She then ask.

Jen look away biting her lips.  
Tilly saw the disappointment on Jen's face, she understand Jen's longing to touch her, cause heck she feels the same. All she want to do is rip her clothes and just take her there and then but she has to control herself. It's important for them to talk things through.

Hesitantly moving towards to kitchen.  
'Wine?' Jen ask opening the fridge, she's sulking.

Tilly smirked realizing Jen hasn't changed a bit. Not a fan of rejection, and worst of hiding it which she found amusing.

'Why not!' Tilly replied removing her hoodie then she made her way to the kitchen.

'We're lucky Liam's not home or this would've been impossible.' Jen stated handing Tilly her glass of wine.

Tilly's eye widen, 'and I'm glad he wasn't here when i took you home, 'drunken state.' she teased.

Jen shakes her head, 'well I didn't ask you to take me home now, did I?' was her reply

Fiinnnee, you're on your own Gilmore. '

Yah, most certainly next time I'm drunk it will be you provoking it and there's no way I'll let you take me home because then that'll be your chance to make up for whatever you've done. Too easssyy missy. She snap, Raising her eyebrows.

Oh and what would make you mad? Hmm? She wondered.

'Well there's quite a lot of ways actually, one is when you keep rejecting me, or if you've decide you want Esther more than me.' She felt a lump form on her throat on that last statement.

'Well miss impatient, there's no way in the world Would I be rejecting you, and excuse me I did not reject you a while ago. I just put it on hold, we'll get back to that.' she winks causing Jen to blush.  
'And Esther, well' she stop trying to get the right word for it. Jen's probably expecting her to have ended it with Esther, so she wants to assure her that it will happen she's just finding the right time.

Well what? Jen ask afraid Tilly might confirm her worries.

Tilly took longer than normal to respond. Causing Jen to look away as tears have build up in her eyes, she doesn't want Tilly to see the pain. But Tilly watched her the whole time, she felt bad.

'Jen, it's not what you think.' She starts, 'I swear to I will end it with her. '

'You will?' Jen was surprise.

'So you're telling me you two are still together?' Jen couldn't believe it, she moved away from Tilly

'I was going to do it but she was acting up, she left the flat right after dinner.  
I..I swear Jen, I'm ending it with her. Just give me some time.'

'If it's so hard for you to do it then there's more to it than you know..' Jen by now is not very happy and just letting the tears fall down her cheeks.

'No Jen, listen to me please' Tilly moved In front of her. Jen tried to turn away from her but Tilly pulled her back, guiding her face towards hers. She let their foreheads touch. Jen can't control her emotions as much as she wants to muffle her cry she couldn't...

Tilly explained it all to her, the situation, her plans and that George knew about this, and he's willing to help when needed. Jen quietly listen taking in everything that Tilly's saying.  
'Trust me Jen, there ain't no one in this world i'd much rather be with than you.' Tilly sincerely said rubbing her hand.

For what felt like hours, they sat silently. Tilly continued to hold Jen's hand occasionally rubbing it.

Jen now felt as if she's been through war, physically and emotionally drained. In fact she did, battle of love and she's not done yet' actually it's just the start. For as long as Tilly's by her side there's no way she's throwing the white flag, not now and not ever.

What are you thinking? Tilly carefully ask.  
Jen lifted her head from where it's resting on Tilly shoulder, she looks at her.  
How much I miss my bed, how comfortable it is and as much as i love to just stay right here close to you I need some rest. It's been rough, too much emotions in too little time. She half-heartedly smile.

So you're kicking me out now then, so you can go make out with your bed? Tilly said pretending to be sad.

As if, but don't you have Uni in a little while? I do.. She replied getting but still holding Tilly's hand

Oh, I didn't know you went back to Uni?

Hmm, well since I can't teach anymore' I found I can still use my degree and go ahead with the vet course, so it'll take me 2-3 more years. She explains

The mention about not being able to teach again flipped Tilly's stomach and her gaze fell on the floor. She couldn't hide her fault.

'I've always wanted to be a vet, it's been my childhood dream.' She lightens up the mood noticing Tilly's reaction. If I became a vet instead of a teacher, then I would've not met you. I say, it's meant to be. She added pulling Tilly rubbing her arms. 'right?' she asked trying to make eye contact. Tilly's not giving in though, she really did feel guilty. Jen lifted her chin moving in for a kiss but Tilly moved her head.

'Ahh miss, you do remember that one way to make me mad is when you keep rejecting me right? That makes it two. So I am mad, but I'll give you a chance to say sorry and maybe you make it up to me?' She beamed, tickling Tilly. They giggled like kids, Tilly have let her guilty self off, at least for now. She'll talk to Jen about it some other time.

Tilly tried to stop her from tickling her but Jen's too strong. She finally manage to grab her hands, she pushed them back towards her back. They look at each other adoringly, Jen lift her chin a little smirking as if to say 'so what are going to do next' to Tilly.

Tilly lowered her gazed to Jen's lips, and without second thought she closed the small gap between them. She let go of Jen hands as she quickly grab Jen's waist pulling on her dress, the desire is building up and there's no way this can be stopped. Moaning with so much desire, they couldn't get enough of each other. Jen pulled away after a minute of non-stop kissing, she gasp for air holding Tilly's face. 'I love you' she whispered lovingly. Kissing her again. They slowly made their way to Jen's bedroom not breaking the kiss, Tilly lift up Jen's dress and over her head moving back to kiss her neck while Jen have manage to undo Tilly's jeans she tugs on it letting tilly know she wants it off. Only with just their under wear on, Jen guided Tilly towards the bed. Once Tilly's led in bed, Jen got up with a look of naughtiness she unclipped her bra then she throws it at tilly who's biting her lips with anticipation. Jen then slowly removed her knickers, then she crawl her way back on top of Tilly kissing those plump lips, her jawline. Then licking her way down to her cleavage, Tilly unclipped her Bra and Jen help her removed it. Taking her harden nipples in her mouth giving both extra attention. Tilly moans, she's never felt this hungry for somebody to touch her other than Jen. Her need for Jen to make her way down to where she wants her is killing her, she yearn for her touch. Jen too feels the same, as much as she want to give Tilly what she wanted, she couldn't help but savor the moment giving every part of Tilly's body a kiss, biting her, blowing air on the parts where she knew Tilly's ticklish. Then when she thought it's time, she laced her belly with kisses, running her tongue down till she reach her knickers, using her teeth she removed it. This time she started to kiss her way up from her foot, she loves hearing Tilly's moan, she felt bad cause she's taking so long but she wants it be slow and passionate. Almost to her sweet spot, Jen looks at Tilly who is preparing for what's about to come. They look at each other with so much love and desire. And there it was, Tilly arch her back, gasping for air. She moans loudly, it felt so good she didn't think it will take long for her to come..

ooohh,, Jeeennn,, she moans..

Jen is so good on what she's doing, she knew Tilly's close so she speed up.. she felt tilly tighten up on her finger. And she could here Tilly's loud moan and calling her name again and again. She crawled back and lay beside Tilly who's still trying to catch her breath. Tilly bites her lips as she looks at Jen affectionately.

'I love you too, soo much'


	11. Chapter 11

hello! thanks again for the reviews. Please do tell if you think it's boring or rubbish :/ promise I won't feel bad, so I can make changes. ermm, I will also change the Rating to M so in case you can't find my fanfic, I'd be hanging around Rated M :) Thanks :)

Tilly felt as if she was in bliss, after that amazing love making her and Jen had she couldn't contain her happiness. She lay there waiting for Jen to come back from the bathroom, smile spread across her face.

'Someone's rather happy' Jen snapped her out of her daze as she swoon her way to Bed. Tilly open the blanket for Jen.

'I just had the best sex in my life, who wouldn't be happy?' She happily said kissing Jen.

'Hmm well I am happy to hear that because to be honest, I've never felt more alive than I am now' she respond nudging her nose to Tilly's.

'You and your nose' Tilly joked

'What about my nose? Hmm?' Doing it again.

They were being so playful, tickling and giggling. Stealing kisses when they get the chance. Until Tilly ended up on top of Jen, she look down at the beautiful brunette' moments like this make them realize how much they love each other. They don't need to say a word, their eyes does the talking. The look of love, desire, longing, just the thought of not seeing each one minute hurts as if it's the end. Tilly stroked Jen's face, then slowly moving her finger down to her neck, to her breast running circles around her nipples causing it to harden. Not looking anywhere else but each other, scared to even blink not wanting to lose the connection. Jen by now is so turned on, she tried to sit up but Tilly stopped her by shaking her head frowning a bit. She continued with her exploration on Jen's body, cupping her breast kneading it gently. Jen's chest rise enjoying Tilly's touch, Tilly grinned. She wants to return what Jen did to her, maybe even more. She was going to position herself but Jen beg for a kiss, which Tilly happily delivered. Jen pulled her ever so close their bodies touched from every single part of it.  
Both enjoying the very sensuous flow of their kiss, tilly would tug on her lovers lips every time she lets go for air then back again. After a while, Tilly let her hand wander down Jen's hot spot causing Jen moan. Slowly, Tilly moved the kisses down to Jen's neck, up to her ear where she whispered 'I love you' then another kiss on the lips all the while still pleasuring Jen. She then positioned herself and replaced her finger with her mouth, soaking all of Jen's wetness.

'Tilly, please..' Jen begs wanting Tilly to take it to the next level. Inserting two fingers inside of Jen, she let out a loud moan. She tugs at the blanket, her pillow' as tilly speed up her phase it drove Jen wild' her bellies on fire. Then she intensely came, but Tilly didn't stop there in fact she speed up again this time harder causing Jen to groan with her sensitive state. 'Fuck..' Jen gasp.. Her body shakes, her orgasm was uncontrolable, over and over this time she grab on Tilly's head, screaming her name. She lets her body go, eyes closed the she felt the small kisses coming up from her belly to her lips, Slowly she opens her eyes..  
'I love you..' Came from Tilly who by now's on top her Jen  
God Tilly, that was amazing! I.. I don't know if I can ever move after that.  
I love you so so much. Was her respond, cupping Tilly's face.

-

Jen felt exhausted, but she lay awake while Tilly's passed out after their intense love making. She can't believe what Tilly did to her, never in her whole life has someone ever done that. Still she thinks if it was with somebody else, it's almost certainly wouldn't feel the same. Then her thoughts went from the lovemaking to their circumstances, she remembers Liam who will soon come home. There's no way Liam will be approve of this, of Tilly. Returning her gaze to her sleeping lover, her heart melts at how peaceful she looks' so so beautiful. It will never be the same she thought.

She checks the time, it's almost 8. Not really sure what time Tilly needed to leave, she was going to ask but got lost in their moment. Then she heard an alarm, not really sure where it's coming from and not a familiar sound. She got up quickly putting her robe on searching around the bedroom but it wasn't there. Then out of the bedroom, into the hallway, she grabbed Tilly's Hoodie and check the pocket sure enough it was her phone alarming. After stopping the alarm she noticed Tilly's got 3 miss calls from Esther reminding her at this point Tilly's cheating on Esther with her. She made her way back to the bedroom, Tilly's still fast asleep. She hesitantly woke the sleeping beauty.

'Tilly..' She said moving the hair that have fallen on top of her eye. Tilly didn't even flinch. She must've been exhausted, poor thing Jen thought.

She tried again, this time running her hand on Tilly's hips where she's really ticklish.

Wake up sleepy head, she giggled seeing as Tilly's reacting to her touch.

'Hmmm..' Tilly opens one eye.

'Good Morning..' She said still half asleep.

'Ughh.. I feel like I just went to sleep' she added trying so hard to wake up.  
Jen just smiled at her recalling what have caused her to be this tired.

'And how come you up already, did you get any sleep?' She asked

' I can't sleep, my body's still shock from what you've done to me.' She teased.  
This comment woke Tilly up making her blush. She has never really done that to anyone, being a medical student and with all the research and that she's learn a lot in the past year. Happy her first performance was a big score, not that she's telling Jen that anytime soon. She run her hands towards Jen's hand pulling her for a kiss. Tilly tried to deepen the kiss but Jen's holding back.

Are you ok? She asked

Your phone's been beeping, here... She stands up after passing Tilly her phone. Tilly frown not sure what's causing Jen to be so cold to her.  
Are you ok? She asked then she checks her phone. Seeing as she's got missed calls mostly from Esther, obviously Jen saw it. Almost forgetting that Esther's still in the picture she realize what cause Jen to be glum.

'Hey..' She calls for Jen's attention, who is now standing in front of the window watching her busy street, people in a hurry to work or school.

'Don't you have Uni this morning? Was Jen's reply  
Tilly got up from the bed, with just her underwear on, she wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist. Jen closed her eyes, loving Tilly's touch.

'I do, and I need to go soon but not unless you promise me that whatever happened last night and this morning is real and everything that we've talked about will happen, we just need time to be able to be together properly because I promise you Jen that I love you so much, and everything that happened in the past 12 hours of my life have been amazing and I am really happy to have you back in my life. And...' She said turning Jen around so she's facing her. 'And there's no way I am losing you again, you are mine. And mine only as I am yours.. I promise..' Cupping Jen's face.

Jen just looks at her. How much she loves this woman she doesn't know. She'll die for her now, and Liam's becoming a blur to her. He won't be capable of ruining this, neither do Esther. Words wouldn't be enough for Jen to respond to what tilly has said so she hopes maybe a kiss.. Then another kiss will do.

Pulling away, they smiled at each other.

'I don't want to promise you anything but I would tell you one thing and that I really want this, Us to work. You make me happy, alive and I .. Jen grabs Tilly's hands then she looks at her again . 'I feel like my life has a meaning again, I have a reason to wake up every morning, knowing I have you. But I just,' she couldn't find the word. I just have this problem about trusting, I always have doubts on things. Doubts that..

That this would work? Tilly cuts her off  
Jen looks down at her hands, shaking her head.

'It's just really hard for me Tilly, I mean i believe what you're saying but part of me has fears. I wish I didn't feel that way, I am working on it I swear. 'Jen explained.

Tilly smiled, she gets what Jen's saying because she felt the same. If she's honest, she also have doubts, and to trust each other 100% at this point would be impossible. It is one of the main things Tilly wants to gain from Jen. And she's willing to give Jen the chance to gain hers. Considering what happened to them in the past, she'll be surprise to have things back the way they were, the happy times. But then through the whole course of their relationship before, they haven't really gone to a point where they made commitments and made promises. They both wanted to, but held it back being in the situation they're at. Now though it's different, still not out of the woods but they can have a relationship without breaking any laws, just hearts maybe. All they have to do is to trust, love and fight for each other. At this point, the love is obviously there and both are willing to fight for what they have now. The question is, what does it takes for them to gain each other's trust.

Tilly decided maybe this is the time for them to talk about what happened in the past, this will be a huge step for them to get a clear view of what took place. The reason behind their actions, how the heck did they turned against each other, what went wrong. How their love for each other turned into resentment. Every person in this world has a reason behind their actions, Tilly wants to know Jen's. She cleared her throat, looked straight into her lover's eyes, giving her a very loving smile.

'I need you to trust me and to be honest I too need to trust you 100% but I think to be able to do that we should talk about what happened in the past, back in Hollyoaks' Tilly said a bit shaky.


	12. Chapter 12

Jen didn't know what to say, what is Tilly trying to suggest? That they discuss about the past, which up until now makes her blood boil to even remember and now Tilly's trying to dig into. This is a joke, she thought.  
She turned her back from Tilly.

'And how is it going to make any difference, hmm? You're just going to remind me how I've been humiliated? Embarrassed in front of who knows how many people were there on that presentation. And how I've been taken away by the police and spent a night in jail and when they told me I've lost my career? How stupid I was...' Jen by now is close to crying

Tilly immediately move to her side, giving her a hug, she rubs her back..

'I am so sorry Jen, this is my entire fault. I am really sorry, I... If i could change my actions then, I would. If i can do anything to bring your career back i swear I'll do it, whatever it takes...'

Jen let go from the embrace. She wipes her tears, shaking her head.

'No Tilly, whatever you did were just the result of my actions. Which were all wrong, I've been such a selfish bitch who only cared about my career. I manipulated people, you.' She looks at Tilly with tears rolling down her cheeks. 'I've been really nasty, up to now I don't know how I was able to look at myself in the mirror knowing what I have done before. How I manage to go back to college to teach knowing I got the woman I love expelled, ruined your future for what? My stupid career?' Tilly just carefully listened to Jen. She thinks it's good for Jen to recognize her mistakes.  
'I made a huge fool of myself Tilly, I crossed the line, way out of the line.' She sniffs.  
Tilly is still trying to comfort her, gently rubbing her back.  
They looked at each other, All tilly could see is this loving woman' she's witnessed everything that Jen have done wrong but looking deep into her eyes you wouldn't think she'll do such Vile things. Tilly wiped away the tears from Jen's cheek. Jen leaned towards her hand a little.  
'It's all my fault Tilly, I don't blame anyone else. It's just hard for me to recall everything, i feel humiliated but I did it all to myself. At first, when it all came crashing down on me I thought the world have turned against me. It hurts, i felt alone. But I was mostly heartbroken, I hated you' She cried and looking straight at Tilly's eyes.  
'How you've not only exposed me to the whole six form but you also got me arrested. I've lost my career' she looks down.

Tilly by now is also in tears, as bad as it sounds now' at that time it was the right thing to do. Of course she didn't do it because she hated Jen then, she hated what Jen's becoming to. This is the person she loves, adore and admire and to see her become a nasty manipulative bitch breaks her heart. She wanted to put an end to the wrong doings, even if it means she'll lose Jen forever.

'Jen.. I'm sorry but I had to do the right thing' Tilly explained

' I know Tilly, I know that now. It was just hard to get my head into it, I was mad that I lose my career. I wanted to blame somebody else but myself. And I thought you hated me so much that's why you did what you did. That you didn't love me, but i pushed you to your limit. It's all me Tilly, I admit that. I don't deserve your apologies or anyone else for that matter. I don't suppose deserve you back in my life either.' She cries and slump herself on the edge of the bed her face on her hands.

'Oh Jen, don't say that. '  
Tilly kneeled in front of her, she remove Jen's hand cupping her face' Jen tried resist but was too physically and emotionally exhausted to even fight it.

'Listen to me, hey.. .' She begs as she touch her forehead to Jen's..

'I understand you, I am going through the same process of achieving a career, and I know how hard it is. And for you to fall in love and put your career on stake is hard. I have my faults too, I didn't stop chasing you when you told me we can't continue. If I stopped then all of this would have not happened.'

' I love you Jen, I wanted so much to be with you then and up to now. Everything that I did to you, i swear I didn't do it to destroy you. God if you only know how much i hated myself after you left. I wanted to turn back the time, rewind it till that night when we saw Esther. But I couldn't, it was a mess since then, up until I saw you again.' She gently rubs Jen's cheeks with her thumb.

' When I first saw you after 2 years, I realize how I haven't moved on. I swear i didn't think I'd ever see you again, i never really picture the day when I'll come across you. So when i did, i sort of just assume I'm still mad, that i hate you still. I half thought you're living a good life after what you've done, moved on and all that while I am still aching like it just happened yesterday. I say I'm pretty good at pretending I am happy but when i go to sleep at night, i end up crying for the same reasons i did when you left, when i lose you. I ended up with Esther, who i thought would be the right person for me, hoping she could fill my heart get me over you but no, it's still the same nights and days. I still long for you, cursing myself for being so stupid and falling so deeply in love with the wrong person. But maybe you're not the wrong person Jen, you're the right one for me. We just fell in love at the wrong time and place, and now that we have the chance to make things right for us, I've suffered enough heck I'll do everything I can to make this work. I'm ready to fight for us. I am willing to do what it takes to gain your trust again. It's all because I'm done trying to forget you, get over you. I just can't, my heart screams for you. I love you so much. And i don't want to lose you anymore.' Tilly sincerely declares everything that she felt for this woman.

Jen can't believe what she's heard, her heart's pounding so hard reacting to every single word that Tilly just said. Tilly's words goes straight to her heart, she felt it. It felt good, of course she wanted tilly to say all this things. She looks at her, giving her an adoring smile. She trailed her hand on Tilly's face, she's overwhelmed with love for this woman in front of her. She doesn't understand how Tilly still feels this strong for her after what she's done, maybe for the same reasons she feels the same.

'Well only if you give me a chance to gain your trust, I am willing to do the same and more.' She replied

' yes, Yes of course!' Tilly smile, smashing her lips to Jen.

'Jeeeennn, I'm home' Liam shouts as he enters the flat. Jen pulled away almost immediately, her eyes wide open.

' oh shit, I forgot about Liam' Jen panic.  
' get dress, I'll distract him so you can sneak out' she suggest

' Hey, I'm in my room, be there in a bit.' She shouts back.

Once Tilly's all dressed up, Jen made her way to the living room.

' Whoa Jen, you look like crap, have you been crying?' Liam asked as Jen approaches.

Jen frown, then she realize she's been crying her eyes out it's probably swollen.

'Nope, just haven't got any sleep.' She said hoping Liam won't ask further questions.

Liam just looked at her, he thought maybe she was indeed crying and it's because of her recent break up with sandy so he decided not to get into it. Jen will open up when she feels like it.

'So, how's work? Jen asked sitting beside Liam.

'Good but I'm dead tired, I might get a quick shower then crash in bed.' He replied yawning and stretching.

'Alright, better hurry cause I need to use the bathroom too, i have Uni in a while.'

He nodded getting up, gave Jen a gentle rub on her back.

'You sure you're ok?' He asked again really concern about Jen.

'Yes, I'm fine' she smiled

Soon as She's sure Liam's in the bathroom and the showers running she ran towards her bedroom. Tilly was pacing the floor waiting for Jen.

'He's in the shower now.' Jen assured her.  
Tilly approach her, she pulled her by the waist as she kissed her hard.  
'Please tell me we can do this?' Tilly asked after the kiss.

'Of course' Jen smiled kissing Tilly again.  
'And sorry for being a drama queen' she added..  
Tilly giggled  
' I started it, and it's not over yet.' She sighed.  
' I still need to talk to Esther and hopefully it won't end up bad' she cringe.  
Jen just gave her a weak smile, not really sure how to respond about it. As much as she want Tilly to end it with Esther, she's still aware of Esther's past and want to be cautious about it. She felt sorry for Tilly, caught it this situation but glad she's doing it to be with her.  
'Will I see you tonight?' She asked changing the subject.  
Tilly knew Jen's avoiding the topic, but she's aware of Jen's thoughts about it.  
' Yes, I will text you as soon as I'm home' she said then kissed her one last time. Hesitantly she moved away from Jen towards the door.  
'I'll walk you out.' She felt sad Tilly's leaving after their amazing time together, she miss her even now.

Tilly nodded with a smile.

Jen check if the coast is clear then, pulled Tilly towards the door.  
' text me, or call me as soon as you can? She pleads.

'I promise, you better answer.' She kissed Jen and whisper ' I love you'  
Jen was going to say it back when she heard the bathroom door open, literally pushing Tilly out of the door.  
'Sorry, i love you too' she mouths then quickly closing it.

'Who's that?' Liam ask her

' somebody knocking on the wrong house.' She quickly made up.

He nodded then entered his room.

Phheeww.. That was close.. She thought

Tilly walks home feeling her best in a loong time, she was happy with how things went with Jen. It wasn't everything she had hope for but she was glad to have start in a positive way, she still want to know more. What were Jen's reasons behind her actions, well other than losing her career. She thinks there's got to be more than what meets the eye. Jen is a really private person, in the course of their relationship back then Jen rarely talks about her life before hollyoaks other than her ex of two years. And Liam, that was it. She was really glad though that Jen recognizes her mistakes, it's a really huge step for her. And that she apologizes, even if she's got the worst of it all, lost everything and for her to accept that it was her fault amazes Tilly. One day though, at the right moment she'll ask Jen.


	13. Chapter 13

Happy Mother's day Everyone! :) I hope you're all having a great weekend.

thanks for the reviews! :) I hope this one isn't too bad..

...

Tilly just got home from Uni, she obviously didn't make it to her first class but pleased to know it was just a lecture which she doesn't really mind missing. Her and Jen exchange text throughout the day as both promised.

Arriving at the flat, she could hear people laughing not really sure who it is. Esther and George shouldn't be home just yet. After removing her coat she went straight to the kitchen where the noise is coming from.

'Hey babe' Esther cheerfully said hauling Tilly giving her a full on kiss on the lips. This amused Esther's friends.  
Tilly was taken aback by Esther's exploit, she didn't really want to respond to the kiss but choose to not reject her in front of her friends.

'So guys, this is my girlfriend Tilly' Esther proudly introduces.

'Oh really? We would've not guessed it!' One her friend joked causing them to all laugh aside from Tilly.

' ermm, so what's the occasion? Wine and shots in the middle of the day?' Tilly asked

' Nope, no occasion. Uni was done early so i thought I invite this guys over for a quick drink, later we'll hit the club. Want to join us babe? Esther replied who look rather happy and careless compare to her mood last night.

'I have work in an hour, sorry.' tilly cringe.  
'Call in sick or tell them you have Uni still' Esther suggest.  
'Yes, come on Tilly.' One of Esther's friend agreed

Tilly frown, not quite sure about Esther's boldness today. She's not typically a party girl and definitely not on weekdays when she has Uni the next day. Even asking Tilly to skip work, something's not quite right. Tilly thought.

'Ah, no, not today sorry. And it's only Thursday. Some other time, maybe?' she respond. Then she looks at Esther.

'I was hoping i could talk to you if you got a minute?'  
Esther finished off her glass of wine before responding to Tilly.

' hmm.. Sure babe. Where do you want to do this? She openly said

'Waahheey, go get a room you two.' Came from one of her friends causing another fit of laughter.

'Oh you guys stop it, be back in a little while, help yourself.' She winks with the look of naughtiness which causes her friends to cheer.

Tilly watched her the whole time, surprised by Esther's forwardness. She's never seen Esther act like this. Though it's unusual, she's a bit happy Esther's making friends. Today though she was set to be honest with her, there was no going back. There's no waiting another day or two, because the guilt is weighing so much on her. It might have been too low of her to trust these groups of friends Esther have, but she was hoping she can confide with them. Besides they're all girls and aside from wanting to party in the middle of the day, they seems nice.

As they got to the bedroom, Esther slowly move towards Tilly wrapping her arms around her waist and went for a kiss. Tilly looked away dodging the kiss.

'Hard to get eh? Esther mumbled kissing her neck. Tilly gently pushed her.

' Esther, I.. Ahm.. Tilly can't find the right words.

'What? Esther frowns

' I can't.' her eyes twitching a little, she hates doing this.

'You can't what?'

'I can't be intimate with you anymore.' She begins.

'But why? Esther said with shaky tone, she's hurt from the rejection and for Tilly to tell her they can't be intimate. She's close to tears but held it back wanting to listen.

' I..' She swallowed hard, ' I don't think this is working Esther, Us. I don't want to be unfair to you, you are giving me more than what I deserve and I just can't return it back. And the fact that I wasn't as loyal as you think in the past couple days, it kills me that I did this to you. And I want to put an end to my lies so I think it's best if we, If possible go back to just being friends.' The whole time Tilly was talking, Esther was looking straight at her, she felt numb, and her eyes filled with tears afraid to blink as her tears would escape easily into her cheeks. She had hoped to look tough, but she's failing miserably.

She did heard Tilly and George's conversation the other night, she knew this was coming but when the moment finally arrived she's shattered, she loves Tilly so much that losing her felt like she just died. Then she recollected the conversation she heard, so Tilly is still in love with her old flame, she didn't have any idea it was Jen. Tilly did mention being in a few short relationships on her first year in Uni which she automatically assumed it was one of them.

'You cheated on me?' she cried

Tilly can only look down, she has to come clean now if she genuinely care for Esther's feelings. Lifting her head, she gasps.

' I don't know how to start, but it's Jen…. She…'

' what? Esther cuts her out, she had the look of fury in her.  
'Miss Gilmore?' She asked with an angry tone.

'Listen to me..' tilly begs.

'No! Are fucking kidding?' she spat out.

'No.. Listen. She works at the Pub, ok' Tilly trails, trying so hard to catch Esther's attention who is now intensely pacing the floor.

'Oh my God! She stops pacing and looked at Tilly shaking her head.

' No it's not what you think! Tilly argued

' Not what I think? Tilly are you screwed? So how long have you been working there, almost a month now right? So that's how long you've been fucking with me then!' Esther by now is deeply mad.

' Nooo… Tilly argued.. 'When i found out that she's working at the pub, I wanted to tell you right away but what's the point when I am definitely not taking the job anyways knowing she works there. But..

'But what, you wanted her back so you go behind my back like we aren't together? Is that what happened?' Esther snap her mid-sentence.

'Esther trust me, It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I was only going to try and help her. She was being made fun of, I guess I felt so bad for her. I know it's a lame excuse but it made me realize that i still have strong feelings for her. 'Tilly looked away after her last words, she knew it was too much for esther to handle.

Esther stared at her, tears wear gushing down her cheeks. The look of sorrow and rage is quickly increasing inside of her.

' I can't believe you have done this to me tilly, of all people. She sniffs.

'Esther, I am so sorry.. Believe me, I didn't do it to hurt you. I've been meaning to tell you this sooner but i just didn't have the guts to do it. I swear i didn't mean to do this to you, it would only be unfair to you if we continue to be together and I don't feel as strong as you do towards me ' she tried to reach out for Esther but she moved back raising her hands up.

'Don't you touch me! She howls

' fuck Tilly, really? Jen?'  
' that bitch almost ruined your future, don't you remember what she's done to you, to me?' She tried to lighten up Tilly's mind.

But Tilly already know all of this, it does looks stupid of her to be getting back with Jen after everything she's done to her but she's got her personal reasons. She won't be discussing it with Esther at this moment.

' Esther, I'm so sorry.. She cried, i swear to you i didn't mean to drag you in this situation.'

As mad as Esther felt, she truly love Tilly, she wants to fight for what they had.

' no tilly, listen' hey maybe you're confused. Esther step closer to Tilly cupping her face. ' after what she's done, i mean' how can you still feel anything but resentment towards her?' Esther tries desperately to convince her.

Tilly shakes her head.

'Sometimes I wish I did but the whole of me says otherwise.. she carefully respond.

' I'm soo sorry.. ' Was all tilly could say as she cried giving Esther a tight embrace..  
When Esther realize Tilly was dead serious about this she forced her way out of the embrace, as it's starting to feel like a parting hug.

Not saying a word she left the room.

'Esther wait.' Tilly shouts, but Esther quickly disappeared downstairs.

She composed herself then followed her downstairs.  
'Let's go' Esther told her friends. They weren't sure of what's happening. Esther walks out of the flat, so they just followed her.

Tilly was too late, they were gone when she made it downstairs.  
She slump herself on the kitchen chair and sobbed. 'What have I done' she whispered.

Half an hour later Tilly pulled out her phone. She called George letting him know she's done it. He said he tried to get a hold of Esther with no luck. They decided to let her settle down, hoping she'll come back home that night or the next day.  
Tilly was debating if she would skip work today and go find Esther. She can't calm down until she knows she's safe, she won't be able to forgive herself if anything happens to her. She tried to call Esther's phone a couple times but it's going straight to her voicemail.

Then her phone starts to vibrate, it's a text message from Jen.

**' Hey, just letting you know I switched sched with Kent so I will be working with you tonight. I can't wait to see you in a bit. x Jen'**


	14. Chapter 14

don't you guys just love Babyjamo- Time to move on fanfic? I love it!

Thanks again for the reviews:)

Jen was excited, she can't barely wait to see Tilly again. She put an extra effort dressing up for work, not that she can really decide what to wear but she picked a jeans that lift her butt up perfectly. Didn't bother putting that much of make-up because Tilly has always admired her natural beauty and she's planned to just flaunt that. She checks herself in the mirror one last time, her hair tied up with her fringe perfectly straighten down.. She couldn't help but linger there for a bit, aware of the changes Tilly has inflicted her. She's got the look of contentment, simple as having Tilly back in her life makes huge changes. She's truly happy. Grabbing her coat, it was time to head to work. When she opens the door, Liam was just about ready to put his key on the knob who just got back from the Gym.

'Oh! Hiyah sis, where are you going?' He ask removing one of his earpiece.

'I decided to work early, nothing better to do.' She beamed

'Well that's new, you hate working at that Pub but you seem excited today. You look as if you're going on a date' He teased.

Jen blushed, she had to look away hoping Liam didn't notice her face.

'Hmm.. It isn't too bad, Just want to get it over with. Come home early and catch up on sleep. Anyway, i don't know what you're talking about, I've got to go. bye.' She quickly said then rushed out.

Phheewww… that was close.. She whispered..

On her way to work she couldn't help but wonder why Tilly hasn't responded to her text. Her urge to ring her is there but decided not to, maybe Tilly's busy and haven't had the chance to check her phone. She puts her phone back inside her coat, and then it rings. She eagerly pulled it back out, seeing as it wasn't Tilly turns her smile into frown. It was Sandy calling her, not really sure what she wants, besides she was the one that broke it off between them. She decided to let it go to her voicemail maybe she'll leave one if it's really that important. And sure enough, she's left her a voicemail. She stop on track and listened to it.  
**  
" Hello there Gilmore, I ahm, just wanted to check how you've been. I was thinking and i feel a bit silly you know, the way I ended things with you. I know it was really rubbish, I've been kicking myself since then. Erm.. Please call me back or send me a text, let me know you're ok. I miss you. Byee."**

Jen wasn't really expecting to hear back from Sandy, since this time it was her that put an end to their really weird relationship. Weird in a sense that it was too easy with her' not much fuss and whenever she calls for her within minutes she's on her doorstep. She felt bad that she didn't put much effort to their relationship but Sandy never learns, it was obvious that she wasn't interested in the first place but she kept pushing herself to her until she finally gave it a go. Sandy's a really sweet woman, beautiful, has a sense of humor and has stable job as a paramedic. They met at a welcome party Liam hosted for her when she moved in with him. It was Liam's way of helping Jen start over again, meet new people, and make new friends. And there Sandy was introduced to her, she's the sister of Liam's close mate. It was kind of a set up since they were both into women and single at the time. Jen wasn't interested at all, but they ended up in bed that night which Jen of course assumed was just a one night stand. Sandy on the other hand liked her almost right away, Jen had even put her off, but sandy was ready for the challenge, she think Jen will come around. Eventually she did, she agreed to go on a few dates, it was fun with her, Sandy makes her laugh, they had good sex. Jen flipped out when Sandy admitted to have fallen in love with her, but decided to give it a try hoping she'll grow fond of her. Obviously she didn't. And here it goes, again. She wants to talk and maybe sort things out. Jen decided to leave it out, not call or text her back. Then her phone rings again, she ignores it assuming it was Sandy. Finally it stopped, just as she made it to work. She would typically get into work from the back but opted the main door this time. Her eyes immediately widen as she saw Esther, who is having a laugh with her friends. She froze, any movement and she'll be spotted. Scanning to see if Tilly was with the group but she wasn't. Then Eric came out from the bar.

'Oh hey Jen' he calls, loud enough for Esther to hear.

Jen lowered her head and shut her eyes hard for a few seconds. When she eventually opens them, she looked straight at Esther, who is furiously staring back. She swears her looks could kill.

' Oi, Jen!' Eric waved his hand at her.

'Erm, yes? She said tensely knowing Esther's still looking at her.

'Nothing really, are you ok?' He frowns.  
Giving Esther a quick glimpse then back to Eric.  
' I'm fine.' She faked a smiled then she hurried towards the back into the storage room.

'Shit!' She whispered. A lot of things where running through her mind. What if Tilly haven't broke it off with her, what's Esther going to think that she found out she's also working there with her. Or Does Esther knows about them? It would explain why she's giving her the dirty looks. She needs to talk to Tilly. Quickly pulling out her phone, she saw there are 2 missed calls from Tilly.  
'Fuck!' She thought it was Sandy who's calling that's why she ignored it. She gasped loud, and then she calls her back. As soon as it rings, the door opens.

' Jen, table 5 please!' Eric told her.

She groans as she dropped the call, she hesitantly set her phone to silent in case Tilly calls her back she might miss it again but she's at work with a zero tolerance policy.

Tilly got up to get a glass of water, walking back to the couch she saw her phone flashing. She ran towards it. But as soon as she picked it up, it stops ringing. She frowns at it, and seeing as it was Jen makes her even more confuse so she rings her back. On her 3rd attempt to get a hold of her she decided to leave a voicemail if she still doesn't pick up.

**"Hi Jen, I've been trying to call you. We need to talk, I did it' I broke up with Esther and I decided not come to work in case she comes back because it didn't go well. She walks out on me and I don't know where she is. I just want to make sure she's not going to do anything stupid. Call me as soon as you can. Please be patient with me. I love you."**

Surprisingly enough for Jen Table 5 is Esther's and her friends. There's no turning back, she took a deep breath then walk towards them. Not knowing what's about to come, Esther's not giving up that easy.


	15. Chapter 15

**here's a short one :( **

**Sorry for the delay... I've been a busy bee, and I've been enjoying to read more than to write :)**

**I hope you're all having a great weekend :D**

'Well well well look who we have here.' Esther announce when Jen approach them.

' Hello Miss Gilmore' Esther overbearingly said.  
' I never thought I'd see you again, what are you doing here?' She then asked intentionally getting into Jen's nerve. It was after all obvious that she works there. That's the main reason why she dragged her friends to this Pub to find out herself that Jen was indeed there. Now that she's able too, it made her infuriated. She's mad at her for winning Tilly again even after what happened, it was so hard for her to understand. Although this time, she wasn't backing out and definitely not moving out of the way just because they tell her to. That Esther's long gone..

Jen was about to say something when Esther's phone started buzzing, which took her attention.  
'Oh, it's Tills..' She meant to say it out loud so Jen could hear her. She smirked, before answering.

Hearing Tilly's name caused Jen's body to tense up. She didn't like the fact that she's calling Esther.

'Hey babe, what's up?' Esther pretends knowing Jen's listening.

'Esther! Where are you?' Tilly stands up from the couch, she's actually surprise Esther answered her phone.

'Just having a few drinks with my friends at the Pub, are you coming to join us?' Esther continued smiling.

'Gee, haven't you had enough back at your flat a little while ago?' One of Esther's friend teased.

Jen swallowed hard as she hear this, her chest tighten' she had to put her hand to it then on her shoulder where she rubs it cause it's starting to tense up.

'What Pub?' Tilly panics, she ran upstairs to get her coat.

'Where you work, you joining us then?' Just ordering more wine now.' She looks at Jen as she say the last words.

'What? What are you playing at Esther? You know Jen works there too, oh shit!' Esther what the heck is this?' She's alarmed by Esther abrupt change of mood, again!

'Oh you stop it, well I miss you too. But what's your boss going to say when he sees you here, aren't you supposed to be working by now. I don't really want to get you in trouble babe.' Esther made it look like she's having a great conversation with Tilly.

'Gosh, you two are the cutest couple ever' one of her friend stated.

'Who is that? Why are you talking like this?' Tilly asked who's beyond annoyed. Then it hits her, she's ordering some wine.. And Jen is working.

'Fuck Esther, what are you doing? She cried.

'That is so sweet babe, I'll see you later then.. I love you too.' Was Esther's final stunt, before she hang up.

' woohoo!' Her friends cheered..

Jen couldn't handle anymore, she had to get out of there. Esther did a good job, making it look like her and Tilly are far from breaking up oppose to what Tilly promised her. the fact that Esther's friends have been so cheery while she's on the phone with Tilly didn't help at all.

'Excuse me' she said as she hurried toward to back. Causing the group to frown and look at each other while Esther's beaming from ear to ear as she watch her storm out.

Jen runs to the restroom, locking it behind her. She had to cover her mouth to muffle her cry, but she couldn't. She cries loud, not even caring who hears her.

Tilly hurried to the Pub. She wasn't sure what happened there. But she knew something wasn't right, Esther was up to something and it doesn't sound good. She was almost to the Pub when she recall she called in, and told Eric she's got Uni projects to finish. She pulled out her phone to ring Jen.

Come on Jen, pick up.. Pleeasssee.. She whispered getting really impatient and worried.

Jen stayed in the restroom for quite some time. She tried so hard to compose herself, taking deeps breaths, she moves toward the sink to wash her face only to find her eyes blood red and swollen in the mirror . It has only been an hour since she felt and look as if everything's finally where she wanted them and have the person that makes her genuinely happy. Now this, as bad as she looks on the outside, it's nothing compare to what she feels inside, shattered heart and messed up mind. She felt stupid for believing Tilly, she felt like she's been betrayed again. Few more deep breaths and out of the restroom she goes. Then she bumps onto Eric.

'Oh shoot, sorry.' Eric said. Jen won't look at him.

'I've been looking for you, where'd you go? He asked

' Erm. Yah' I'm sorry.' She sniffs looking anywhere but him.

'Shit Jen have you been crying?' Tilting his head as he tried to catch her eyes.

'I'm fine, I just..

'Why don't you head home, I don't think you can go out there looking like that, I'll call Kent. It would've been fine if Tilly didn't called in too but its Friday. He stated shaking his head. At the mention of Tilly's name, another wave of emotions flooded Jen's causing tears to roll down her cheeks.

'Oh Jen, what's wrong? hmm? He asked, rubbing her back for support.

'Just go home, yah? Whatever's wrong, fixed it. You're off tomorrow anyways, go on.' He smiled

'Thanks, Sorry.. I'm just…'

'It's fine, you don't have to. We all have our shit days.' He winks

Tilly's still standing just 2 blocks away from the Pub, she's running out of options. She can't get a hold Jen and Esther's out there not aware of what she's done. She needed to talk to Jen more than Esther, it didn't even bother her about Esther's situation anymore as she could sense something's not quite right. One more ring to Jen, if she won't answer she'll go.

Jen went to collect her coat in the storage room, as she puts it on she felt her phone on the pocket. She pulled it out, and saw Tilly was calling. She gasps and without hesitation she cancelled the call, then it shows she's got 2 voicemail and 11 missed calls. 10 of Tilly and 1 from Sandy.

Tilly knew the calls been rejected, she knew something's wrong. Her hearts pounding so hard as she literally run towards the Pub. She stop dead on track when she saw Jen and this Blonde lady in a tight embrace on the side street just across the Pub. Then she watch as Jen's being guided towards the passenger side and they drove away. Tilly felt like somebody just slapped her hard on the face, she had to hold on to the post beside her, as her legs felt weak. What the heck just happened, she thought as tears have fallen from her eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for the delay :(

A few minutes later, Tilly slowly lift head up from staring at the ground since she saw Jen drive away with God knows who that person is but the way she held Jen and guides towards her car tells her something isn't right. She's hurt, Jealous, abandoned by the woman she loves. Tears were again building up in her eyes, she shakes her head and blinked it away. Before she could even make a step towards home, she's met with Kent who is quickly running towards her.

'Oi! Tills.' Kent calls

Tilly gave him a weak smile.

'Where you heading to? Aren't you working today?' He ask

' ahm, no. I was just….' She can't function well, not even sure what to say.  
Kent frown a little as he stares at her intently.  
' You ok there? He nudges her  
Tilly gasp..  
' yah, i just had a long day, Uni and stuff. And I wanted to come to work even though I'm a bit late but then I started to feel sick. 'She explains

' well, you look of it.' He said curling his lips.

'Anyway, just go home and rest. I wasn't going to work till later but Jen had to go home, Eric said she's been crying. I bet it's still about her break up with the ex. But who knows.' He shrugged.

'She's been crying?' She asked finally looking directly into his eyes. Which also reveals her swollen eyes from her recent cry

'That's what Eric told me. Are you ok? You look like you've been crying yourself. He stated pointing at his eyes to let her know he can tell.

'Oh, it's nothing, just got something in my eye while I was walking. I won't keep you long, I've got to go.' She said then rushed past him but towards the direction of the Pub.

'Hey Tilly, wait.. He tried to catch up but was left wide eyes and confused because Tilly didn't go to the Pub, she went pass it.

'Fuck Esther' she whispered, walking quickly as she could towards Jen's flat.

She now gathered what happened, Esther made it sound like they didn't broke up in front of Jen. Infuriated but mainly worried of what this means to her and Jen, who is this woman that came to pick Jen up. Stopping on her track as her minds going wild, what if Jen's not home or if this person took her somewhere else. Is she Sandy? Does Jen hate her now? She took a deep breath, contemplating what to do.

-

' You ok?' Sandy asked her after she pulled over in front of Jen's flat. She noticed how quiet Jen had been the whole way and she can obviously tell she's been crying. Jen called her asking if she can be picked up but she wasn't clear as to why, she was taken aback when she saw her. A hug was an apparent approach, she knew Jen will not open up about it yet so she decide not to push it for now.

' Do you want to come in?' Jen asked dodging Sandy's question.  
Sandy just nodded.

Once inside, Jen walked straight to the kitchen, she open a bottle of wine and offered Sandy a glass. They both sat down, silence fills the room for a few minutes. Sandy cleared her throat.

'So, aren't you going to tell me what this is all about?' She asked.  
Jen gave her a blank stare, not really sure herself what this is about. Why call Sandy? Why her? Is it because with just simple 'come here', 'get me' text she'll appear a minute later. She'll stop whatever she's doing and come running to Jen's side, she only have to ask. A loyalty beyond her thoughts, at one point in their relationship she wished Sandy would just cheat on her, find someone else, and make it easier for her to end it. Of course it never happen, she feels stupid not falling for Sandy instead' she's perfect for her however way she looks at it but her heart screams for Tilly who she thought have hurt her again. She didn't have much choice, nowhere to run to, feels like her world have gone upside down, as if she's lost everything again when it's only Tilly…. But that's Tilly though, the person who means the world to her. The only person that every single time she'd lay eyes with has this huge effect on her, gives her the good tense, who makes her knees go weak when she smiles at her, when she touches her she feels alive, complete. The way they connect in so many different levels, no one can ever top that. She stares at Sandy but this time, she ready to bare it all. The sorrow in her eyes, the emptiness, her shattered heart. As tears were threatening to fall down her eyes, on most occasions she would hide it but not this time. She let it flow, sobs after the other. Sandy quickly got up from her seat to comfort her.

Sshhh.. It's ok, she sympathetically said rubbing Jens back. But Jen couldn't contain it, she buried her face on Sandy's stomach as she cried loudly.

Jen have calm down a bit after a few minutes. Wiping the last of her tears.

'urghh, I'm such a mess. She sniffs. Her eyes were again swollen, all this crying have resulted into exhaustion. All she wanted to do is get under her covers and escape for a few hours hoping she'll fall asleep, maybe tomorrow is a different day. Maybe tomorrow Tilly will come running back to her arms and that Esther never happened.

' Here, drink the whole thing.' Sandy handed her glass of water.

' No more wine for you, I'll make sure of that' she warned, taking the wine bottle then poured it away in the sink.

'ah shit, my dress' Sandy said, wiping the wet patch on her dress. Causing Jen to look at her.

' Just to let you know I have an interview in a bit, all your tears and snot have ruined my dress. Thanks' she stated exaggerating it to get a reaction from Jen. She then gave her a cheeky smile and a wink.

'I'm so sorry Sandy, I was…'

'Nah, It's fine.. Was just teasing.. She smiled. 'Besides I still have some clothes left here right? I'll go change' she added.

'Can I? She asked pointing towards Jen's room.

' erm.. yah, help yourself.' She respond with a weak smile.

Tilly has made it to Jen's street, she instantly notice the car parked in front the flat. She swallowed hard, knowing they are there ties a knot in her stomach. Debating whether to storm ahead or leave it for now, maybe go face Esther first? But she longs to see Jen, she need to explain to her what happened, that nothing has change in fact they can officially be together. She needed Jen to listen to her, give her a chance to explain atleast. Hoping she'll believe her. Trust her. Although it's a wishful thinking knowing they're in the process of gaining it and this happens. It was like a force that pushed her to go ahead, a few big steps and she's in front of Jen's door. She took a couple deep breaths. She knocks.

Jen was about to enter her bedroom when she heard the knock on the door. She frowned and checked her watch, Liam can't be home now is he. She thought. Too tired to debate her move she went and open the door.

'Hey' Tilly nervously said. She was glad Jen had open the door for her, but was crumbled when she saw Jen's swollen puffy eyes.

Jen's mouth literally fell open when she saw Tilly standing in her doorstep.

'Jen, where is your clothing Iron? This dress is a bit wrinkled.' Sandy came out from Jen's room wearing a dressing gown.

Jen panicked, she turns to look at Sandy. When she saw what she was wearing she immediately turns towards Tilly who by now has tears rolling down her cheeks.

' Tilly… it's not what you think.' Jen pleads, she tried to reach out for Tilly's hand but Tilly moved back with both her hands up.

'Don't' she cries.. She shakes her head then quickly run away.

' Tilly! 'Jen calls out.. She ran after her, but when she turns on the corner Tilly was already gone. Unknown to her Tilly hide herself on the alleyway covering her mouth to muffle her cry.


	17. Chapter 17

_Here's your next chapter.._

_I am so sorry for the delay :(_

_next chapter shouldn't be too long.._

_Thanks for your lovely reviews. ;)_

Gee, Tills.. You look like crap. Come on let's hit the club.' George persuades the moping friend.

'Let's get you a new lover.' He added with big smile.

'As if, it's only been a week George. I could still feel the pain from that moment I saw Jen with someone else.' She miserably said, pulling the blanket over her head.

'You haven't proven that though because you ran away and didn't listen to what Jen have to say.' He responds as he lay beside Tilly.

'Come on Tills, you need to do this, get out' its Friday. We can get wasted, dance till we can no longer move our feet, we'll bang our heads instead and get sick on the dance floor.' He grits his teeth as he said so.  
'Forget about this girls in your life for a night.' He added with a cheeky smile.  
' I can't, I mean screw Esther. She's ruined it for me, but Jen. I miss her so much.' She shakes her head then turned to look at George.  
'She had never, not once left my thoughts all week. I am so tired of getting mad at her. There were so many times i almost ran to her place and scope het back to me like she's never done what she did.' She wipes the tears that have fallen off her eyes.

'But you haven't proven anything Tills, all you're doing is kept believing she's cheated on you, blocked her on your contacts. She doesn't know where you live. You quit your job. How can the person chase you back and explain her side? Hmm?' He pulled her for a hug.  
Tilly sniffs and wipe her eyes. She looks at George in the eye.  
'What should I do?' She carefully ask

' well, talk to her. First of all, you need to tell her the truth about Esther, I still couldn't get around the fact that she's done such thing, she was out of the line.' He shakes his head. 'Anyway, yes you should definitely talk to Jen. You know where she lives, get this sorted.'

'But…..

'I know Tills, you've left her a Voicemail telling her you broke up with Esther, but what's with you guys working on the 'Trust' issue.' He snap, knowing Tilly will go over and over about this.

'It's ok if you don't want to go out tonight. Maybe we can just stay home and watch a movie, if you'd like that. He optimistically said

'that I can do, thanks for being there for me. I swear I would've not been able to cope.' She sincerely said

' I know Tills, I know I'm awesome like that. He teased. Causing Tilly to nudge him and giggle a little.

The two friends ordered some Chinese and just cuddled up in the sofa, they've decide on a comedy movie considering Tilly's mood.

-

Jen on the other hand was just getting ready for work. It will be her first day back. The whole thing with Tilly made her want to take a break for a week. Even though she wanted to chase Tilly and explain what she saw, she doubted the point of it, Tilly have chosen to be with Esther. As soon as Tilly walked out, Jen tried a couple of times to get a hold her but it won't go through. Then she finally came back to her senses, Tilly didn't need any explanation regarding Sandy well in fact she's the one who needed an explanation regarding Esther's loving phone call with her.

Lucky for her Liam agreed to go ahead and give Eric a notice of a much needed week off work, she wasn't ready to go back there yet. Not ready for whatever confrontation she had to go through with her co-workers, and certainly not in the mood to explain her sudden distress. And the thought of seeing Tilly again, she can't bare it just yet. Her phone was off throughout the week, surprise by her self-control because there were times when she's so close to turning it back on just to see if Tilly have contacted her. There were a lot of what ifs. Certainly she wasn't able to hear Tilly's voicemail.

She tied her hair up, and then pause to give herself a look in the mirror. The sadness and emptiness is written all over it. Even though it isn't too bad compare to that morning after the incident when she cried herself to sleep. Sandy stayed with her for a couple more hours after Tilly have walked out. Jen didn't feel the need to explain to her about Tilly but she felt much better when she decided otherwise. Lucky for her Sandy listen to her and didn't respond as an ex-lover, of course it hurts her to finally know why Jens been the way she is towards her, that she's madly in love with somebody else. But she felt much better knowing Jen wasn't as numb as she thought she was, all she wanted is for Jen to be happy even if it's not with her. Sandy even advise Jen that it's best if her and Tilly talk, that she has to hear it from Tilly if she has really chosen to be with Esther. Which Jen didn't take note of.

Taking a deep breath, she was ready to face everyone. First off, she grabs her phone from her dresser, tapping on the front screen, she was anxious. Eventually she turned it On, a few seconds later, her missed calls, text messages and voicemails came through. Mostly from work and Tilly, she scrolls through the text messages, none of which is from Tilly which kind of a letdown for her. Then to her voicemails, again mostly from work then on the very last of it is from Tilly. The date says it was from the day she saw Esther. She looks at it a couple more times, her thumb is shaking and her hand is starting to sweat. She closed her eyes and puts her phone down. Quickly grabbing it again, her thumb is slowly making its way to the delete option. She groaned loud, pressed play.

**"Hi Jen, I've been trying to call you. We need to talk, I did it' I broke up with Esther and I decided not come to work in case she comes back because it didn't go well. She walks out on me and I don't know where she is. I just want to make sure she's not going to do anything stupid. Call me as soon as you can. Please be patient with me. I love you."**

**Jen was **astounded, she blink and tears have slowly roll down her cheeks. 'Oh Tilly' she whispered. Without hesitation she rings her.. She needed to talk to her, see her. Of all the emotions she had felt, right now she thinks she's nothing but an idiot. It reminds her that she hasn't changed a bit, running away when things get tough.

Her call didn't go through, it says 'the number she's trying to call is restricted or unavailable'. She tried a couple more times. Checking the time, if she hurry to work she might be able to catch Tilly before she's off work. She literally ran to grab her coat and quickly made her way towards the Pub with phone in hand still trying to get a hold of Tilly. Minutes later, panting she made it to work. She spots Kent right away.

'Kent…' she calls

'Oh Jen, I didn't know you're back tonight?' he said

'Where's Tilly?, Is she still here?' She hurriedly ask scanning the room

He frowns at her, quite surprise to see Jen and her demands.

' Tilly? I don't know why you're looking for her or what you need from her but she isn't working here anymore. She quit last week…

'What?' she said not able to hide the horror look on her face

'But how, why?' her tone has change, tense and deflated.

'Whoa, Jen that's not the reaction I expected from you.' He respond eyeing her face. Jen look anywhere but him, she knows Kent has the tendency to grill somebody until he gets more information.

'Anyway, she quit same time you call for a week off actually. So we've been smashed hard. Eric was going hard on us, double shifts after the other. He finally hired someone today so I'm glad and you're back so I can finally breathe again.' He went on and on about the week that has past, Jen was physically there but clearly her minds somewhere else. It's going over-drive, now what is she going to do. She can't get a hold of Tilly, doesn't work there anymore.

'Do you know where she lives?' She urgently ask shutting Kent off

'Ah what? Why would you want to know?' He frowns, Intrigue at Jen's sudden interest with Tilly.

'Erm.. I just.. I borrowed something from her and it's something I believe she'll need. Uni related, erm books. I just want to make sure she gets it back, I know those books are expensive.' Indefinite but she manage to throw a rapid believable excuse.

'Ahh, It almost look like you two have a little something going on, but she's got a girlfriend and you're still recovering from a recent break-up so that can't be. Sorry to tell you but nope' I don't know where she lives. I do know it's not very far from here. Maybe you can ask Eric, sad to say he already left though and he's off all weekend.' He explained

'I should get going, my times up too. I'm glad you're back Jen.' He winks

She just nodded. Then he left.

Knowing her legs were about to give in, lucky for her there was a chair just a few feet away from her. Slowly walks to it and sat down, hands on her head. Feeling lost, not really sure what to do next. She's scared of idea that this time she might have lost Tilly for good.


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry for the long wait.. couldn't find the time to write and I'm lacking of inspiration. The esther and tilly thing is also putting me off. Anyways, again Sorry.. I will try to update as soon as I can :) **

The weekend has gone slower than Jen had hope. She's had a feeling of fear on the pit of her stomach, restless nights and most of all an aching heart. She look so tired & worn out from trying and crying all weekend. When she hears the clock ticking, it was like her times almost up and her chance is running thin. She even went for a run around the neighborhood purposely snooping on every single flats and houses on her way with no luck at all. Her phone's been unusually carried around wherever she goes and she would call Tilly almost every hour. And she gets a little too excited when her phone rings, only to be disappointed again and again. It didn't even cross her mind that maybe Tilly had blocked her number, she thought maybe Tilly turned her phone off similar to what she did last week. She could've easily use a different phone and ring the number it would go through no problem. Her mind is going overdrive, she felt like her only  
chance is Eric. Monday is her least favorite day and Eric is the last person she wants to see but today it was different, today presumably for her is the day she gets her girl back. She even switched schedule just so she can get off work early. It was mad serious how she's so positive that Eric will give her the precious address of Tilly.

She's deep in thoughts when her phone started buzzing. It was time for her day to start, first of she's got 2 courses to attend. Not really feeling it today but aside from Tilly she also hopes to be able to achieve something for herself career wise. Before she got up from bed, she had to again at least try and ring Tilly's phone without success.  
She groans loud as she heads towards the bathroom like a zombie, it has been a long tough weekend for her. All she did was curse at how bad she had handled the whole situation, that she fell for Esther's little antics and then she'd be stopping mid thought and wonder if Esther was indeed pretending to be in good terms with Tilly but then again Tilly's voicemail was before that. The voicemail which been played over and over she can memorize every single word that's been said, the sincerity on Tilly voice. She was going nuts trying figure out what the heck really happened, she believes tilly but it was just too soon to be going through all this' she wasn't ready for it. And now she has the time to analyze things, how intimate they've been the night before, and the heart to heart talk. The kisses and how Tilly made her feel so alive has proven her enough.

At that moment she was extremely vulnerable, what can she do other than walk away like she always does and assumed the worst. A mistake she extremely regrets. She won't deny that, it's been her weakness all these years but if she was given the chance to change anything then she'll listen to her heart, be courageous and never let the people she loves go without a fight.

-

Tilly on the other hand had a refreshed morning. Apart from an empty heart, the freedom kind of felt good. A few things that of Esther's still lay around the bedroom but it didn't bother her much. Today she didn't have Uni so she decided to get all of Esther belongings that are hanging around the flat then she informed her to pick them up anytime today. It wasn't a friendly message but it wasn't harsh in any way either. She tried to occupy her mind with other things but it wasn't a battle she's winning by any chance. The more she fights to push her thoughts about Jen away the more pain she feels, she misses her immensely. It was hard for her to come around the fact that she might not be able to live without her, it was impossible to see the future without Jen. She was like a drug, the good kind of which she's irrepressibly addicted to and she's bound to get succumb by it. Before Jen came back, her life's been okay, Uni was as she expected it to be. She's got her best friend George and made more friends along the line, her parents are happy and very supportive. Then she had Esther, it seemed like everything's the way they should be but it obviously didn't feel it. She felt as if It wasn't enough, which made her feel like a hypocrite' that she couldn't be happy with what she have, so she stopped whining about it. Until the beautiful brunette came shaking her world, made her realize so many things. Mainly the strong feeling she still has for her, she got excited about a lot things. Being with Jen before was a lot work, sneaking around even with a career on the line but it was exciting and Tilly does love a bit of challenge. The moment they both realize it was getting a little too much than what they bargain for, they both obviously tried to hold it back as much as they could but the connection was too strong. There's a force of some kind that draws them together however much they control it. When she took Jen back to her house on that drunken night, sneaking her in like old days when she used to sneak Jen into her room on weekends. But she knew it was more than that, it wasn't about the teacher and student relationship thing anymore. It was beyond that, she love this woman unconditionally. When Jen kissed her, it just felt right' and when they made love' it was like a missing puzzle she's been frustratingly looking for.

It's only mid-day and she' exhausted, she went downstairs and fixed herself some lunch.

-

Finally Jen's done with her course for the day. She sighed heavily getting up from her seat, it has been a real long few hours. All this Science prerequisites she had to take in order for her to get accepted at a veterinary school, she's not even close. It's making her doubt if she can even make it. And this whole situation with Tilly has been bugging her, how difficult it is for her to concentrate.  
She dash out of the building into the bus stop, it was so hard for her to keep still. It was like she's going to miss her flight or miss a very important occasion.  
Half an hour later she's made it home. A quick shower, and off she went to work. It's not like she's going to see Tilly right then, ahead of her is a full 8hrs of work. But what makes her so pump up is the idea that she might be very close to seeing Tilly. This address, Tilly's address' it's very much essential to her. She just needed that and she'll do whatever it takes to get Tilly back into her life. She clocks in then she quickly scan for Eric around the Pub. He was nowhere to be found..

'You looking for someone?' The chef asked noticing Jen had been going back and forth.

'Oh, ahm.. Have you seen Eric? I just have an important question to ask him. 'A determined look on her face.

'Nope, haven't seen him at all today. He's supposed to be back though.' He shrugs.

Jen sighed with disappointment' as if a huge amount of her blood had been drained, she was loss for words.

Then the door behind her opens. She spun around to find Eric.

Her eyes immediately open wide with much hope within her.

' Eric..' she gasp with a smile.

Eric frowns by the unusual recognition from Jen.

'I've been looking for you.' She added

'Well hi to you too Jen, it's good to see you back.' He sarcastically said patting her shoulder causing Jen to roll her eyes.

She let out a tiny chuckle. 'Sorry, how was your weekend? And yes It's good to be back' she stated.

Eric nods. 'It's been good, not too bad. So what can I do for you?'

Jen shifted a little, uncomfortable with what she's about to ask.

'Erm, it's about Tilly.' She started

'You weren't informed yet? She quit last week, conflict schedule and that. I asked to work it out but she insisted to be release.' He explained

Jen winced. 'Yah I've heard, but ahmm..' she tries to find the right word to help hide the real reasons.

'I borrowed some books from her and you know how expensive they are.' She bites her lips. 'Do you happen to still have her address with you? I have to see..' she inhales deep. 'I have to return this books to her' she looks away knowing she sound a bit desperate than she had hope not to.

Lucky for her Eric buys it.

'Let me check if I still have her application.' He said walking towards his office.

'Phheeww..' a moan of relief as she touches both her ears to try and bring the color back, she didn't need to see it. She felt it became warm throughout the talk with Eric it must've been blood red.

A few minutes later Eric came back with Tilly's application. He was skimming through it.

'Here's her Address, have you tried calling her? Do you want her phone number too? He asked

'ahh, I did try to call her but it won't work for some reasons.' She answered

'Really? She called me this morning, well I asked her to let me know if her last paycheck went through and she call to confirm it.' He explained 'You sure you got the right number?

Now Jen's confused.

'May I..' she said pointing at the paper.

Eric handed it to her.

Jen could memorize Tilly's number by now of course.

She carefully looks at it and it was the exact same number saved on her phone.

'Are you sure she called you using this number?' She questioned bit shaky

'Yes Jen, positive.' He shrugs

She wanted to ask Eric much more detail about the call but she decides against it, not wanting to add more suspicions. She nodded.

'Can I get her Address then?'

'Yah, Go ahead. I mean I don't see anything wrong with that. She let you borrow her books so there must have been a good relationship between the two of you right?' he said causing Jen to swallow hard and avoiding eye contact.

Looking at the paper.

'Errm, yes. I guess..' She flashed him a weak smile then quickly looked away.

He nodded. 'Well, I am glad you're back Jen. I hope you got everything sorted out.' He said with a smile

'Thanks.' She said, and now left with million questions in her head.

'Hey Jen, are you ok?' The Chef asked her noticing the sudden stunned look on her face.

'Can I borrow your Phone real quick?' She pleads


	19. Chapter 19

**Rubbish but here you go.. sorry for the delay.**

**now off to sleep i go ^^**

Jen had to make sure, if Tilly blocked her number like her instinctive feeling is telling her. If she did, what does this means, has Tilly had enough of her? Did she miss her chances? All this thoughts were running through her head and it's actually making her feel sick.

She made her way to the storage room to retrieve her phone. Taking a deep breath she then rings Tilly and same exact result came through' out of reach'. Petrified as hell she dialed it on the borrowed phone.

Tilly just got out of the bathroom when her phone started to ring. The unfamiliar number was flashing on her screen, she frown unsure what to do but decided to answer it nonetheless.

Jens heart sank soon as it rings, not real sure what this meant now that she has confirmed it and when she heard Tilly's voice quickly covering her mouth to avoid any sound to come out. Tears have build up from her eyes, she ended the call reluctantly blinking some tears out.

Tilly was left confused, not a single clue of what just happened on the other line.

Whilst Jen felt lost, she stares at Tilly's application not quite sure what to do next. Here it is, the one important piece of information she was dying to know and now she doubts it's even needed. If Tilly had block her communication wise which stings like hell what more if she's been permanently blocked off her life. She might not be able to handle that, not now.

Jen's night has been dragging like hell, but ironically she wanted it to go slower because she hasn't really decided her next move yet. Just an hour left on her shift when she went and help another costumer, unexpectedly it was George and a guy companion.

'Miss Gilmore! 'George calls as he spotted her coming towards them.

'George.. Hi…' She smiled but she couldn't help but start to panic. She immidiately scans the whole pub to check if Tilly was with them.

'She's not with us..' He said certainly aware of what's causing Jen to panic.

'ah err, what?' She respond

'Tilly, she's not with us.. Don't worry too much Miss Gilmore, i did encourage her to come out of the flat but she's mopping around like the world has ended.' He explained looking right at Jen. He's had enough, felt real sorry for her dear friend and seeing as Jen Doesn't look any better, he figured what's he's doing is for the best. He intentionally took his date to this Pub hoping to get a hold of Jen, to talk to her, let her know what she's done to Tilly.  
Jen froze, taken aback by George's direct comment. She swallowed hard unsure how to respond' she's been caught out anyways. If George knew everything about them then what's the point of arguing about it. Plus she's exhausted, it has been a dreadful few hours of her life.

George could tell Jen was uncomfortable so he decided to take the lead.

'Do you have a minute Miss Gilmore? I just want to discuss, I mean catch up if you don't mind' He smiled, causing Jen to frown.

'Sure, but what about?' she asked confused.

George whispered something to his date before getting up. He walks towards the corner of the room followed by Jen.

'What is this about?' she asked almost right away folding her arms.

'I think you know Miss Gilmore..' he said with a straight face.

Jen shut her eyes hard while shaking her head.

'Please just call Jen.' She said

'Right, so this is about my nearly depress friend who for a week now haven't done anything but feel sad about a certain break-up, and nope it's not with Esther.' He starts

Jen was absorbing every single word that George was spatting out. She wasn't pleased to hear that Tilly's been well over sad but this gives her hope, her sorrows been equally felt.

'Jen, I don't know what really happened. I am not going to accuse you of anything as I really don't know you. But according to Tilly, you cheated on her.' He said feeling uncomfortable with the last statement. Jen's mouth fell open.

'Believe me George.. I didn't do such thing, it wasn't what it look like. I was mad about Esther's little show she did in front me, and I know I should've talk to Tilly first but I didn't and I've been like an idiot running when it gets tough. George please tell me it's not too late?' she was almost begging for him to say it isn't.

George shook his head gritting his teeth. This for Jen meant it's too late.

'I blew it off..' she cries quickly wiping the tears that have fallen. She turns and started to walk away from George.

'She loves you..' he said. Jen stop almost right away at the word that's been said.

'I've known Tilly for so many years now, the last two years without you in her life I thought I've seen her happiest days until just recently you came back to her life. There were springs in her every steps, when she talks about you.. oh trust me Jen I get bored but she can go on and on, she'll be smiling throughout like a goofball.' He walks towards Jen touching her shoulder, ushering her to look at him. Tears were flooding Jen's face. George instantly felt bad. He pouted.

'I hope you two would just come back to your senses and sort this out. I am done babysitting.' He teased nudging her.

Jen let out a little smile as she wipes most of her tears.

'Is she home?' she then asked making George squeak with joy.

'She is home alone, and a matter of fact maybe for a while as I have a date out. He winks

'Do you know where we live?' He asked

'ahh yah.' Jen bites her lips. George frowns at her

'You've been to our flat?'

'erm no, I was going to take matters in my own hand but..' she sigh ' but I found out she blocked my phone number. How am I supposed to cope if I find out she has totally blocked me out her life.' She said, tears were again threatening to fall.

'Oh Jen, I wish you guys would just talk instead of making presumptions. And yes, it was so silly of her to be blocking your phone like that but that's her way of challenging you. Back in the days there were no phones, I'm sure there are other ways to get a hold of someone right? He said nudging her again.'Can I trust you'll be going out to get her back?' he asked raising his eyebrows

'What are my chances?' she asked unsure

'Well, I'd like for you to go and find that out.' He winks causing Jen to pull a grimace face.

Jen slowly made her way to the address written on a piece of paper. She was nervous as hell, her heart's beating like she just ran a marathon. She'll stop ever so often to catch her breath, it was a one cold night but the palm of her hands wear sweating. Her thoughts were nothing but a scene with Tilly, her first words when she sees her. If she gets rejected, what will be her next move? Giving up sure wasn't in the picture, she checks what she's wearing to see if she'll be warm enough to wait outside. She chuckled at the thought of waiting outside until Tilly forgives her, more like a scene from a romantic movie she saw. But of course she's willing to put that in action if needed most.

She has made it in front of the Flat. She looks up and saw a few lights that were on but focus on the once in the 2nd floor where Tilly's at. She took a few steps forward, slowly until she was standing right in front of their door. Extremely nervous but it was time.

She knocks on the door.


	20. Chapter 20

Tilly was certainly inside, in the kitchen doing the dishes with her ear Pods almost on full blast dancing away with the music. Jen on the other hand is starting to think Tilly might not be in or have called it a night, checking her watch it was only half eight that's way too early for bed. She's been knocking for good 15 minutes now, the first few knocks she felt extremely nervous but in a good way and now she's crushed thinking she might have to wait and come back some other time. She couldn't wait any more, leaning on the side of the door she pulled her phone out from her pocket but quickly realizing she forgot to ask for George's number. It almost instigated her to cry, feeling disheartened again. Then her phone started to ring, it was Liam. Not really in the mood to talk to him but she did meant to give him a heads up that she'll be late home or as she'd hope not to be home till the next day.

'Hey!' she answered

'Jen, where are you?'

'Erm.. I'm at Sandy's place, just visiting.' She closed her eyes as she lied.

'Oh, really?' he asked surprised. Jen bit her lips crossing fingers he buys it.

'I didn't know you two got back together? I had a quick drink with her brother the other day he said you two aren't an item anymore and she's moving out of the country.' He explained.

Jen was a bit shock but quickly realizing what she was doing.

'ahh, err yes I know.. That's why I came to see her.. We are still friends you know.' she said feeling bad about lying but she has to.

'ah see, well I'm just checking where you at as I'm heading out to have a few drinks with my mates. I will see you tomorrow, lunch with mom, remember?' he stated. Jen grimace at the reminder.

'Of course. I'll be there.'

She shook her head as she hangs up the phone. So now she can't even come back in the morning, and the thought of waiting until after work tomorrow is impossible for her to bear. She has to see Tilly now, not later nor tomorrow.

Tilly by now has done the dishes, her phone made a noise that tells she's got a new message. She dried out her hand and retrieves her phone from her back pocket. It's from George.

**"Tills, how's everything going? I better see a genuine smile when I get back. And you're welcome dear. xx" **

She frowns, unsure of what George meant. She was about to reply when she heard a knock on the door. Checking the time on her phone, surely that's not George. She thought.

She removes her ear pods and walk towards the door but stop suddenly as she walks past the boxes she stacked up that are of Esther's.

'Shit, why this time of the night.' She whispered bending to pull her short shorts down trying to look unappealing as she can. She also puts her hoodie on and finally she opens the door thinking it was Esther.

'Jen!' she said, surprise to see the woman she loves standing in front of her door.

Jen was astonished, Tilly is here, just a few steps away from her. She could smell her, her cute little comfy outfit, her eyes that shine even brighter without make-up on. Tilly was aware of the effect she's causing Jen as she feels it too but she's clearly surprise to see her.

Jen wanted to just throw herself at Tilly, squeezed her for dear life and never letting go. She noticed that Tilly doesn't look mad but rather confused so she decided to start it.

'Hi.' She said with a loving smile. Tilly almost certainly felt her heart flutter, but she managed to pull it together and kept her ground. Jen have come here for a reason, there was an issue she's aware of that so as much as she longs to touch and kiss her right there and then they need to settle things first. She leans on the door frame and folded her arms.

'What are you doing here?' she asked, hoping she didn't sound upsetting. Jen expected it, after what happened there was no way she'll get the warmest reception.

Jen swallowed hard. 'I think you know why I'm here Tilly, please let me explain what happened.' She pleaded

Tilly's heart broke at the sight of her lover in distress, how can she even think of saying no to her. Motioning her to come in by tilting her head a little, and once again she was flashed with a smile she had miss so much. Jen walked in passed her, Tilly closed her eyes as she could smell the sweet scent of Jen.

'Tilly…. I am so sorry..' Jen starts. Tilly turns around to face her after closing the door.

'For what?' Tilly frowns at her causing Jen to look confused. 'For not trusting me? for believing Esther? Or for sleeping with another woman just because you thought I lied to you?' Tilly asked unable to hide the hurt on her voice from the last statement.

Jen took a few steps towards Tilly, she reach out for her hand.

'Tilly, nothing happened with me and Sandy. Please believe me. I know I should've talked to you instead of running away, calling the wrong person. But I.. well Esther have really done a good job of making it look like..'

'We are happy together? Tilly interrupted.

'I know, I've been really stupid buying it. She was just so convincing, and I felt like I've been dumped again, it hurts. I ran like I always do when it gets tough, and Sandy was the only person I could think of helping me out. I should've talk to you..' she explained wiping the tears from her cheeks. 'Tilly, I love you so much… I have lost too many times in the past, can you blame me if I get the feeling it would happen again?' she said reaching for Tilly's other hand.

'Please tell me I haven't lost you again? She pleads letting the tears roll down her cheeks.

Tilly looks down at their hand then back to Jen's pleading eyes.

'Jen, maybe words wasn't enough to express how much you make me the happiest I have ever been in my life, but you do. You don't even need to do or say anything, just you being you right beside me knowing I got you… That you're part of my life and for the rest of it. I wanted to gain your trust and I am willing to give you the chance to prove I can trust you too. Well, That's how I felt before all of this happened, I didn't want to let you go anymore…but now' she stops causing Jen to panic, she was sure this was it for them.

Tilly gave her a loving smile. 'But nothing has change…' she admitted, she's now in tears too. Jen didn't waste time, she pulled her in for a hug and sobs uncontrollably on tilly's shoulder.

'I love you so much Jen, please don't ever doubt that.' Tilly said, breathing her in. She too, never thought this moment would ever happen again. It felt amazing. She will always forgive Jen, she loves her too much not to.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hello y'all.. **

**sorry for the delay, just been a slacker lately :P **

**I hope you're all doing ok!**

They both release from the grip and stared lovingly at each other, Tilly cups Jen's face as she passionately kissed the lips she had ached for. Jen wrapped her arms around Tilly's waist pulling her closer as much as she could, squeezing her ever so often as the kiss heated up. After a few minutes they pulled away to catch their breath, only lasting a few seconds as their lips met again. They are very much hungry for each other's touch, it has been way too much heartaches and for them to end up like this making it all worth giving another chance. Ironically, the person that has initiated all the heartaches is the only person that could make it better.

Tilly undo Jen's coat and flung it behind her and Jen did the same with Tilly's hoodies not breaking the kiss. Tilly couldn't help herself as she gently bit onto Jen's jaw, and almost lapping her way down to Jen's neck, then up to her earlobe where she seductively whispered. 'Let's take this upstairs.' She took Jen's hand as they made their way upstairs. Not long until they made it to Tilly's bedroom, literally ripping each other's clothes off.

Tilly bites her bottom lip as she step backwards wanting a clear sight of her half naked lover. This made Jen flushed feeling self-conscious, Tilly noticed it and find it really alluring. She slowly moved back inches away from Jen, and then she kissed her with so much passion she guides Jen towards the bed. Tilly laid her on the silky smooth bed all the while gazing at each other, both a reflection of love and longing. Also aware that the moment have change, there wasn't a need of rush, the way they look at each other and the silence tells them to savor it. Besides they are free to be together, Esther has been taken care of and most of all, it was no longer a forbidden love. People around them, relatives most especially will be against it and they are aware of that and they'll face them. The whole week apart have proven enough, they couldn't stay away from each other, even if they try so hard to convince themselves they'll get hurt again it didn't stop either of them because just the idea of not being a part of each other's lives scares them more than anything. If Jen didn't came to see her tonight, she's already made up her mind that on the next day she'll go knocking on Jen's door to try to sort things out. Yes she was shocked to see Jen on her door step but very much pleased she almost forgot about the whole dispute and jump at her. Not that she's telling Jen that just yet. She could feel her heart pounding, only this woman in front of her could impose. She feels well-alive' this must be really it, that one person that ties a happy knot on my stomach every single time she smiles at me, I could melt from her touch and her lips fit perfectly between my lips and all I want do is kiss it forever. Tilly's deep thought.

'I've missed you… so much' Tilly whispered caressing Jen's face and subconsciously running her thumb on Jen's bottom lip.

'You have no idea just how much of a mess I was this whole week, worse than the whole 2 years without you' Jen replied maybe overstating it but it did felt like it. She stroked Tilly's face 'I've miss you too Tilly, I love you' she added smiling but couldn't hold the tears as she said those words.

Tilly smiled back lovingly as she wipes the tears from Jen's cheeks replacing it with a kiss.

'I love you too Jen' she said kissing her tenderly but not long till it heated up.

Jen gasped for air finally as Tilly moved the kiss down to her neck, collar bone and to her breast cupping the other. After she has given both enough attention, she lick her way down to her stomach she smiled at Jen warning her what she's about to do. Within seconds Tilly have successfully got what she wanted, it's a little chilly in her bedroom but she didn't worry about it as she has easily taken care of it. Kissing Jen's legs and around her thigh which drives Jen crazy, it wasn't the time for teasing but she just love hearing Jen's moan whenever she's close to her sweet spot. Finally after she's tortured Jen enough to where she was begged to do what she's about to do, she delivered hitting the spot almost right away. Jen cries for Tilly's name repeatedly, that long week of longing which build up is about to be eased up and there was something about Tilly's touch that makes everything much more intense. Tilly quickens her phase knowing Jen's near the edge. Jen grabs Tilly's hair then lift her hips as she reaches her heights towards Tilly's face. 'AAaahhh… Tillyyy…' she cries letting her body sink back on the bed panting for dear life.

'My god, Tilly.. That was.. ahhmmazing.' She said trying to catch her breath. Tilly looks up to her with a smirk very much happy of what she's done to her lover. She crawls up to Jen leaning to hear Jen's heartbeat.

'I'm sure it's beating like nuts at the moment.' Jen giggled stroking Tilly's hair.

'I love it.' Tilly said, 'music to my ear' she added winking at Jen.

'hmm, well, shall we hear yours then?' Jen grinned lifting her head to reach for Tilly's lips

'ah, nope.. Not tonight' she checks the clock on her bedside. 'I have Uni early in the morning so I'll settle with a cuddle for now.' She beamed as she lay down beside Jen draping her arm around her stomach.

'ah see, I say you can change your mind anytime.' Jen said kissing her as she gently stroke Tilly's behind brushing on her hot stop causing Tilly to break the kiss peering on Jen.

'What? Jen asked her with a cheeky grin on her face hoping that move has changed her mind.

Tilly bit her bottom lip. 'You're irresistible Gilmore….' Tilly gives in, Jen shifts position now on top of the red head. 'No, you are irresistible..' she seductively said before kissing her way down in between Tilly's legs.

They made love throughout the night, Tilly eventually quit checking the time and didn't worry about not getting any sleep. They were chuckling when George and his guy friend arrive in the middle of the night to what sounds like an intense making out. Banging the walls and dropping things everywhere. It has been an amazing night, both couldn't be any happier.

Tilly's alarm started buzzing, she groan turning it off still shattered from the long and intense night she had. She turns around carefully not to wake Jen. A gush of desire quickly runs throw her at the sight of her naked lover peacefully sleeping on her side facing her. The blanket only covers half of her body, her curves and her perfect skin were very much tempting for Tilly. She gently move closer, close enough that she could feel Jen's soft breathing. She pulled the blanket carefully as she could but Jen started to stir.

'Good Morning, I didn't wake you up, did I? she asked feeling guilty. Jen gave her a sleepy smile as she groggily said no.

'You sound really tired, I say you need a glass of water.' Tilly stated getting up

'Nooooo…' Jen calls. She wanted to reach out for Tilly but too weak to do so. 'I might indeed needing a glass of water but couldn't you spare me a morning kiss? She tells her pouting a little.

Tilly chuckled laying back down. 'Sorry, my bad.' She said kissing the pout away.

'You better.' Jen teased

After a few more kisses, Jen finally let her go. She watched Tilly pick up all of their clothes which has been carelessly thrown everywhere not that she dared to care about it. Her naked lover has pretty much caught her attention but snapped out of her dirty thoughts when her tops been thrown on her face.

'ugh, that wasn't nice.' She huffs

Tilly giggled, shaking her head. 'As if, you're the one who's having dirty thoughts while I am bending my dear life picking up our clothes, I don't know what you've done to me but my back hurts.' She stated.

'oh babe, come here. Let me make you feel better.' She said, patting the bed.

'Nope… I am going to take a quick shower, and you seem to be fine now. Maybe you can downstairs and get me a glass of water.' She teased Jen

'So not fair, besides I am a guest here. You're supposed to take care of me.' she teased back

'You're not just that missy, you my guest, my lover, my girlfriend, my…' Tilly was going to say 'everything' but thought it was a bit too much to say just yet. 'my water girl..' she winks hoping the quick pause didn't ring any worries from Jen.

'hmm, if you put it that way. I might just. But come give me more kisses. I'll miss you when get in the shower.' She said flashing her beautiful smile.

Tilly couldn't resist.. 'You're too much but I love you.' She said kissing her softly but Jen pulled her for a deeper kiss.

The kiss of course ended up to another steamy love making which Jen is so happy about and tilly too but not very pleased when checks the time, she only have half an hour to get ready.

'I can never trust you when it comes to this matter.' Tilly tells her as she got out of the shower.

Jen just laughs at her. She finally gets up from the bed.

'I need coffee..' she groans

Tilly eyes her up from the mirror, totally liking the sight but also aware of what Jen said.

'Here..' Tilly hands her a dressing gown.

'ah thanks, but I said coffee.' She laughs

Tilly shook her head..'yes, and you're a big girl so go make us some.' Tilly gave her a cheeky smile.

'Fine, you coming down soon?' She asked putting the gown on.

'Thanks babe, And yes I'll be right behind you.' She winks

Jen gave Tilly a quick kiss then she made her way downstairs.

She was stirring their coffee when she hears footsteps coming down the stairs.

'You still like your coffee with only one sugar on it, right? She asked then she turns around.

'Kent?!' she said, shock to see him and the fact that he's half naked.

'Jen?' he replied rubbing his eyes. 'What are you doing here? 'he added

'So where's my coffee?' Tilly hurried downstairs not paying much attention.

'hmmff?' she huffs then finally looking at Kent, her eyes widen.

'You are seeing each other?' Kent asked astounded.


	22. Chapter 22

**I know, what a delay huh? Sorry, just been busy with work and all different kind of stuff.. **

**.I am almost done with the next chapter so it shouldn't be that long for the next update. thanks for the reviews :) **

**ForeverJelly :)**

Tilly looked at Jen, rather not expecting her lover to have a look of anxiety on her face. It's just Kent, not like its unknown to him that both of them like girls so this shouldn't be a big deal.  
She studied Jen's body language, she recall how the hands and body has it's way of expressing one person's emotions, how can she forget, Jen have thought her all of it. She frowns at Jen wondering why she's so tense kinda like that day when she went and confront her at chez chez thinking Liam was a date. But that was then, time to move forward no more looking back at the past, if they are both serious on making it work, huge changes has to happen. No more hiding and looking behind their back, besides Jen just told her the night before that they'll face whatever circumstances along the way. Kent shouldn't be a problem at all, not unless he knows their past and he is the type of person that judges and has a big mouth, and obviously he is and does have the tendency to gossip about somebody else's life. But then again it is something they'll have to face eventually, if they can't go pass Kent what more when Liam or their parents finds out.  
Tilly shook her head as her thoughts have all of sudden gone nuts on her.

'Err, yes..' She said looking angst towards Jen.

'Really?' He smiled nodding his head.

Jen's eyes widen at Tilly's direct respond to Kent. But part of her felt rather relief, if Tilly wasn't there she might have denied it which will then cause another argument. 'Stop it with the whining and hiding. Grow a pair and don't mess this.' She thought to herself  
Jen was about to say something, when George rushed down the stairs.

'Good Morning lovelies!' He cheerfully said. Stopping just beside Tilly wrapping his arms around her waist kissing her cheeks.

'Eughh, aren't you supposed to be doing that to Kent?' She teased gently nudging him with her elbow.

'Oh wait a second here, what happened to your date lastnight? I mean, nothing against you Kent but George here went to the pub with a different guy but came home with you.' She stated giving the two guys the intriguing look.

'I don't know, well.. George ditch his guyfriend and got me drunk. Not even sure how I got here.' He teased causing George to give him a gentle punch on the arm.

'Excuse me, it was the other way around.' He retorts  
They all chuckled besides Jen, who isn't sure how to react.

They all looked at her, Tilly sway towards her wrapping her arms around her but Jen felt a little uncomfortable with Tilly's display of affection in front of Kent and George.

'Relax' Tilly whispered, gently stroking Jen's back.

Jen stares at her lovers beautiful plump lips then to her mesmerizing emerald eyes.  
'I love you' she whispered back.  
Tilly instantly kissed her after those beautiful words were heard.

'Oh look at that, I always knew you two would make a cute couple.' Kent stated

'They do huh.' George agreed both smiling at the two love birds who felt a little embarrassed after the kiss.

'Coffee!?' Jen offered

They all sat around the kitchen table, George have told them about last night. How he found out that the guy he was out with actually in a relationship and only looking for fun. George didn't really have time for that so he dumped him right there and then. Kent to the rescue, they chat and drank till midnight. Clearly they like each other, though they are both denying it still.

'Well, I don't know about you guys, but I am off to Uni.' Tilly smiled getting up from the chair touching Jen's shoulder.

'Shower?' George winked at Kent as he rushed upstairs.  
'Absolutely' He respond, chasing after him.  
The two girls just laugh at them.  
'They are so cute.' Jen said picking up their cups putting them on the sink.  
'No, you are cute.' Tilly tells her turning her around then drawing her close .

'I'm sorry I panicked a while ago. I wish I could control it and not get scared anymore, it's just my mind goes overdrive. I shouldn't be, it's going to take some getting used to I guess' She Admitted, biting her lips.

'You were gonna deny huh? Tilly asked

'Honestly, yah..' She said eyeing Tilly  
'But I knew it would of result to an argument with you. We haven't obviously discuss who and when are we going to open this relationship to. Like my mind's set to deny almost instantly.' She cringe

'Ah well we can change that.' She winks grabbing Jen's hand.. ' I love you and everything's going to be fine.' She smiled

The two shared a few more kisses before Tilly heads out to Uni.

-

Jen was in Tilly's bedroom getting dress when her phone started to buzz. It's a text from Liam reminding her about the lunch date with their mom.

'Crap.. ' she whispered sitting on the edge of the bed. She made plans with Tilly, to meet up right after Uni which was around noon. And knowing her mom, she's going to want to catch up usually takes a couple hours. Pressing on the reply button.

**'I don't think I can make it.. Had a little too much to drink lastnight...**

She sighed hard then deleted the text. She texted Tilly instead.

**'Hey babe, I'm still at your place.. Got a slight problem here. I forgot I have a lunch date with my mom and Liam today, they'll ask way too many questions if I cancel. Can we meet tonight instead? Love you.. xx'**

She bit her lip as she pressed send. A reply from her love quickly came.

**'Check you out bonding with fam bam. No worries babe. I'll see you tonight, can't wait. xx'**

A smile creeps through Jens lips.  
Seconds later another message from Tilly came through.

**'And I love you too. 3 xx'**

Jen's heart flutters, she's never felt this happy in so long. Blissful feeling inside of her, and last night they have taken full advantage of each other. She slightly shook her head with the biggest grin on her face as she recalls.

-

Noon came quicker than Jen had hope, she wasn't up for this lunch date Liam and her mom have set up. Not after the most amazing make out her and Tilly did, all she wants to do is daydream about her lover until they meet again. Towel drying her hair her phone rings.

She smirked as she saw it was Tilly calling.

'Hey.. Good timing, just got out of the shower' she teased

'Ha! Wow, I changed my mind. You need to come see me instead of Liam and your mom.' Tilly teased back

'Oh I do now, well I can't.. My mom is on her way and so is Liam. My minds all fixated on a certain red head that I don't think I could throw a convincing lie or even argue.'

'Well, just tell them you got called in at work early' Tilly insisted but only to give Jen hard time.

'Babe, they would come and see me at work.'

'Er, Uni?

'Liam knows my schedule.'

'Hmmmm.. Tell them you forgot?

'I just got off the phone with my mom, I told her I'd be half an hour.

'Argh...' Tilly pretends

'Tilly, I really…

Tilly laughs. 'I know babe, I'm just messing with you.'

'oh.. you cheeky' she chuckled

'I miss you though, I've been thinking about you all morning.'

'I miss you too, it's been the same for me. I can still feel you holding me and your scent.' She sighed

Jen, Jen are you there!? Liam calls.

'Looks like you have to go.' Tilly said as she heard Liam from the phone too.

'I know, I'll call you after lunch ok? I love you Tilly.' She said almost whispering the last words so Liam won't hear it.

Jen, come on. Mom's waiting! Liam calls again.

'Geez, he hasn't change one bit.' Tilly says.. 'I love you too, can't wait to see you tonight.'

'Me too, bye.'

'Bye.'

Liam and Jen were a few minutes late, much to their mom Terry's disapproving look as they approach her.

'Hey mom' Liam said giving her a hug and kiss. 'Sorry we're late, someone here took forever to get ready.' He added looking at Jen.

Jen on the other hand wasn't in the mood to argue, she just rolled her eyes and took her seat after giving her mom a hug.

'Well, you're both here now so that's fine. Other than getting along so well, what's been keeping you two busy that neither of you won't even come visit. And ignoring my calls, Jen? What's going on?' Terry asked

Jen stares at the flower decoration they have for the table, her heads resting on her hand as she stirs her drink on the other. She's clearly there but her minds somewhere else.

'Jen… Jen!' Liam snapped her out of her thoughts waving his hand close to her face.

'What?' she asked looking confuse.

'Wow Jen, what's gotten in you? Mom asked how you've been and why lately you've been ignoring her calls.' He said shaking his head.

'Oh, I'm just a bit drained. And Mom I've been fine, work and still getting the courses done.' She glumly replied.

'I heard Sandy's going abroad, did you have anything to do with it?' her mom asked

Jen looked at her mom trying to see if her mom's serious.

'Why would you think that?' she asked not happy her mom even consider that.

'We all know she's very much smitten about you Jen. And Liam told me you broke-up just recently, I kind of figured she's moving away because of you.'

Jen shook her head not believing what her mom is on about.

'Mom, she's an adult, we all are. If the she wants to go live abroad then that's her decision, besides she has told me before about her plans. And either we are together or not she's going to do it. Our break-up doesn't have anything to do with it, ok?' she explained quite angry

'Whoa, Jen easy.. Mom was just asking.' Liam quickly said

'No, she said she figured, so she did think I am the reason.' She snapped again.

'Well what's wrong with that, why are you so defensive. Just say no, right? He scowls

'Hey, you two stop it now!' Terry cuts them.

'Right, Jen sweetie I'm sorry I have to ask it that way. Anyway, let's not talk about that. I should've not started the conversation that way.' She said as she reached out to touch Jen hand.

Jen gave her a weak smile. 'It's ok Mom, I'm sorry too. I'm just a little off today.' She explained as she'd rather be with Tilly. She's sitting here with her family who will surely go against Tilly and hers recently rekindled romance. She's definitely not looking forward to that day when they find out about it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hope y'all had an awesome weekend! told you it won't take long. :)**

**Thanks again for your lovely reviews.. totally helps to get me going.. **

Tilly made it home in time to find Esther standing in front of the door. Tilly frown, not really sure what she was here for, but then she recall about the box of her belongings inside. She took a deep breath then she approached her.

'Hey..' Tilly said coldly, Esther turned to look at her but rapidly avoiding an eye contact. Tilly noticed how awful Esther looked, her eyes were swollen and looking really pale.

'Hi..' Esther said looking anywhere but Tilly.

Tilly couldn't help but feel sorry for her, it broke her heart to see her like this. Esther is one of the people in her life that made a huge impact on her, she's amazed of how she managed to get back on her feet after the suicide attempt. Also the kindness within her, how she came round and forgive Ruby and Sinead after what they've done to her. She thought it was something special and it was probably one of the reasons why it was so easy to be around her. They shared amazing moments together as friends back in Hollyoaks, they were both there for each other when they needed it. Esther helped her move on from Jen, though it never really happen as she only set the feelings aside, constantly reminding herself it was hatred that she felt, nothing else. Which she eventually proven wrong the moment she laid eyes on her again. As much as she hated what Esther did, she knew part of it, no most of it is her fault. For lying to her, she has driven her to be what she has been, for having way too much cautions when it comes to handling issues with her considering what she has done in past. Esther hated it when people treated like that, she's not different from anyone else and she just wanted to live a normal life. Tilly knew that, but she's also aware that she was a huge help through the whole healing process. They became really close, close enough that they were in a relationship. Tilly makes her happy, maybe even completes her. Who knows what will happen if she loses her, and worst lose her to Jen. She lied to her, mainly because it would played out differently if Esther found out right away. There was no way she would've let her get any closer to Jen. And right there and then, Tilly knew it was about her, what she feels, what she truly wanted.

'Do you want to come in? Tilly asked hoping they can talk.

'I am in a hurry Tilly, I'm just here to get my stuff then I'll be out of your way.' Esther respond calmly but still avoiding her gaze.

'Esth…' Tilly tried to touch her arm but Esther shifted away from her.

'Please, let's talk. I hate to see you looking like this.' She sighed

'Funny you should say that, when you're the reason why I look like crap!' Esther scowled

'I am so sorry Esther, I….I can't be everything that you want me to be.' Tilly by now was close to tears

'I didn't ask you to be anything but yourself, you were everything that I wanted you to be.' Esther replied

'Esther, you don't get do you? I love you but it wasn't..'

'Like the love you feel for Jen? Esther cuts her

Tilly let the tears roll down her cheek as she looked away unable to deny what Esther just said. 'I have no intentions of hurting you, I wish I could tell my heart who to love.' She said reaching out for Esther's hand, she lets her this time.

'I am deeply sorry for hurting you, for my lies. And I would be really pleased if you give our friendship another chance.' She pleaded

Esther looked at her, she could see the sincerity on Tilly's eyes. She too let a tear fall.

'I hate to be your friend as I want more that but…' she swallowed wiping her tears. 'I'd be more gutted if you won't be part of my life anymore.

Tilly smiled underneath her tears.

'Come here you.' She said pulling her for a hug.

After a few seconds they pulled apart giving each other a genuine smile.

'So are you coming in? Tilly asked as she opens the door.

Esther nodded following behind Tilly. 'Water?' Tilly offered walking towards the fridge.

'Sure, thanks.'

Tilly handed her a glass of water and again noticed how bad Esther really looked. She sure had rough days, she thought.

'So where are you staying now? She wondered

'I am, ahm.. one of my mates.. I don't know if you remember any of them, she's been considering a roommate and it also happened that I needed a place to stay. It worked out great. I guess' she explained

'You could've just stayed here you know. There wasn't a need for you to move out. We all found this place.' She moves closer to her. Esther felt a little uncomfortable, she stiffened.

'We both know at the time, it was for the best Tilly. You hated me and I was broken, I had to stay away from you or it's going to hurt ten times knowing I can't have you.' She cries

'Esther you didn't lose me, I'm still here for you!' Tilly argued

Esther shook her head and went to grab her items. 'I've lost you Tilly. You dropped me when I least expected it and worst to the least expected person. I meant what I said about losing you for good, I'd be really devastated Tilly but I don't think we can be friends or be there for you, as I don't support whatever this is your doing. You're the smartest person I know Tilly, I'm sorry to break it to you but this is also the stupidest decisions you could possibly done.'

'Why do you say stuff like that?' Tilly cried 'Esther, all these years I longed for the true happiness within me, and all those years I kept denying to myself and to everyone about what I truly felt because everyone will judge me. Almost all of the decisions I made in the last two years were for everyone else to be happy, to be proud of me. But what about me? I make you all happy, but what about me Esther?' she leaned her back on the wall as her knees were giving in on her.

'I'll keep making stupid decisions if it makes me this happy. And if you'll judge me because of it then… maybe you're right, we can't be friends. I can't please everyone, and I know my parents will find out about it eventually. I will say the same thing, and if they truly care about me and what makes me happy then they have to just be happy for me too.' She walked towards the door and opened it for Esther.

'It's your turn to make some decisions, I believe.' She defy Esther

She felt every single word that Tilly confessed her. It cuts her deep knowing she wasn't able to make her happy when they were together and even before. But she also felt bad that she was unhappy for the past 2 years. She knew she had to think things through, her feelings for Tilly is still solid strong, at this point it's impossible for them to get back together but then she doesn't want to lose her forever. She didn't say anything as she carried her stuff out of the flat.

Tilly closed the door and sobbed her way to bed, and there she cried until she fell asleep.

Jen was done with the lunch date finally. It felt like it took them whole day to catch up when they were only there for a couple hours. Talking about nothing but Liam's boring life. Jen didn't mind because there was no way they are talking about hers. Liam dropped her off at their house before he heads to work. She literally run inside as she dialed Tilly's number. Her calls were all going straight to voicemail. On her fourth try after a quick shower again went to voicemail. So she decided to text her.

**'Hey babe, I've been trying to call you. What's going on, call me as soon you get this. Ok? I love you… and I can't wait to see you tonight. Xx'**

Jen was all ready for work and still no reply from Tilly so she tried calling her again. She bit her lip as soon as the call went to voicemail. She had a weird feeling on the pit of her stomach. Tilly's last text were only a few hours ago, nothing wrong could've happen that quick, she thought. Checking the time, if she won't be heading to work soon she'll be late so she rushed out still a lot of scenarios were running through her mind but she tried to stay positive.

When Jen made it to work, she was in daze. Kent spotted her almost right away and so he waved and approached her. They shared a knowing smile.

'Looking rough, got worn out? he whispered teasing her.

'Haha, very funny. You're not looking any different mister.' She teased back

'Oh god, that boy got some wild side in him, but I like.. a lot!' He revealed with a huge grin on his face.

Jen chuckled shaking her head. 'Wow, I didn't want to know that. But I'm glad you two are having a good time.'

'Just don't do anything stupid, George is a great guy.' She said point her finger at him.

Kent frowned. 'How'd you know?' he asked confused as to why Jen know such thing.

Oh crap.. Jen thought as she realized Kent have no idea about their past.

'ah well, he looks like a great guy. I mean Tilly and her get along really well. As far as I know Tilly, she's an amazing person and you would think her friends are the same.' She explained a little startled.

He nodded. 'Amazing person eh? How about in other aspects? He teased nudging her.

'Wow, you're something else.' she said shaking her head.

Tilly wakes up after a couple hours of sleep. She looked out on her window and noticed it had gone dark. She checked the time and she instantly got woken up surprised to see it has gone so late. She recalls coming home around 2 and the emotional talk her and Esther had. Then her thoughts went back to a certain someone who she's dead excited to see in just a few hours now. Maybe the 5 hours of sleep had done her a favor in fast forwarding the time as she would've gotten too bored and impatient to see her lover. Her phone started to ring, she smile knowing it was probably Jen. But it was George.

'Hey, what's up?' She answered

'Hi Tils, ah nothing. Just checking to see if Esther swing by to grab her stuff cause she called me and asked if I was home.'

'Oh, yah she did. We talked for a little bit.' She sighed

'How'd it go? Sorry, I had a group studies to attend.'

'It's alright, we needed to talk anyways. I will tell you about it when you come home.'

'ok Tils. I won't be home till later. See yah'

'ok, see yah.'

After the call, all of Jen's missed calls add up. She only tried to call her 15 times and a couple text. Tilly quickly realized Jen must be freaking again, she read the messages and smiled on the first one but gritted her teeth as she reads the rest. It seemed like Jen's a little too worried as she said she'll come by earlier than she'd plan to check if everything's ok. Tilly thought maybe it wasn't a bad idea. She quickly replied.

**'I don't mind if you come by early, Now would be fine too. Xx'**

Then she composed another one.

**'I am sorry by the way for making you worry. I fell asleep after Uni and just now getting up from bed. I love you and I am looking forward to seeing you later. Xx'**

She sends the text and smiled to herself, but quickly wiped out when she recalls what happened hours ago. Maybe a shower will refresh her mind and definitely a take away dinner for her and Jen as she's got revisions to do while she waits.

Jen's getting really impatient at work, she's got 2 excruciating hours to go till she's done and worst she's not sure if Tilly's ok or what on earth has happened to her this time as she's not answering her calls and text.

Ken noticed her as he walks by.

'Oi, you ok there?' He asked

Jen groaned and looked at Kent miserably.

'I'm just being paranoid.' She said

'Huh?'

'I've been calling Tilly, she's not picking up. I haven't heard back from her.' she explained

'She's probably busy revising or fell asleep but it's been like what, almost 6 hours. Not a single text back. I know I sound a bit absorbed but knowing Tilly she would've gotten back to me by now if nothing's up.' She added

'ahh you're too cute.. Missing your girl eh?' he smiled

'Why don't you head out and go check on her. I'll cover for you.' He winked

Jen's eyes widen at his unusual gesture. 'Really?' she beamed

'Yah, go on before I change my mind.' He gently pushed her.

'I didn't know you got that in you but thanks a lot, I owe you.' She said rushing to get her stuff from the store room.

When she retrieve her phone, she saw Tilly has finally texted her. Relieved to know there isn't anything to be worried about. Jen, you fool. She told herself. Now it would be rude for her to waste Kent's generous offer to leave work early so she rushed out into the cold breeze of an early night towards Tilly's place.

'You just wait and see Evans.' She whispered


	24. Chapter 24

**More for you lovelies! next chapter should be this weekend :D **

Jen sprinted hey way to Tilly's place, and cursed at herself for refusing Liam's Gym session offers in the past as she try to catch her breath. At times like this, being fit is greatly needed, although soon her lover would give her enough exercise in their own gym bed. She smirked at the thought of it. 'Must be nice.' She whispered.

Jen took a couple deep breaths and straighten up herself before knocking on the door. She frowned after a minute or two without an answer, she's quickly getting impatient.

Tilly just got out of the shower, her original plan of a quick one turned to half an hour as the feel of warm water cascading through her body felt good and it woke her up properly. As she towel dry her hair, she heard the knock on the door. A quick glance at the clock she beamed knowing it was Jen. Although she was so tempted to go and open the door with just her dressing gown on and nothing else, a file of revision is staring at her by the desk plus she ordered pizza for her and Jen. So she rushed, putting her usual short shorts and tanks then she went to open the door.

When she opened the door, Jen had he back to her. Hands on her hips.

Jen turned around, her heart melt seeing how cute Tilly looked but tried her hardest to look annoyed about the wait. Tilly noticed it, and gave her a cheeky pout.

'hmm… Finally!' Jen said with an attitude.

Tilly giggled as she pulled Jen ever so close kissing her hard. Jen was stunned by the move, but loving every seconds of it. The feel of Tilly's warm lips on hers and her arms that wrapped so tight around her waist.

'Sorry, I was in the shower..' Tilly whispered 'Please forgive me.' She added as she gently pinched Jen's behind and bit her lip. Jen couldn't argue, how could she? She looked like a spell has been casted on her.

'You have no idea how much angst you've put me through today. And you think being this cute and kissing me like that will make up for it, then you're wrong.' She said as she slowly walk forward forcing Tilly to walk backwards. 'You'll have to work harder.' She added closing the door with one hand and holding Tilly on the other.

'ooohhh.. I like this.' Tilly said

'ahh you do now?' Jen replied raising her eyebrows

Jen locked the door then she pushed Tilly on it. She stepped back a little to remove her coat but it didn't take long until their lips met again. They kissed so passionately, Jen moved the kisses down to her neck then to her collar bone. 'hmm, you smell so good.' She breathed. Tilly responded with a little moan. Their lips met again but this time the hunger for each other took over as their hands wandered. Jen caressed Tilly's breast underneath her top, delighted that she's not wearing a bra. Both of their Tops were later discarded carelessly on the floor, Jen worked her way down to Tilly erect nipples, giving both the same amount of attention like she always does. The short shorts were then pulled down as Jen stared seductively at her lover who knew what was coming. She lifted Tilly's other leg and rested it on her shoulder then a loud moan came next as Jen pleasured her. Tilly arched her back when she felt Jen finger inside of her. She had to hold on the door knob for support. Not long till Tilly reached her heights, she could care less how loud she had been as the divine sensation was well worth it. And Jen had to quickly get up to support her in case her legs give in.

'You ok?' Jen asked kissing her cheek

'In bliss..' she said breathless

Jen stroke her face lovingly. 'Good.' She said.

When Tilly finally got her legs back to normal and stabilized her breathing she gave Jen a seductive gaze as if to tell her it was her turn. But before she could make a move, there was a knock on the door causing them both to be startled. Jen picked up her coat on the floor to cover up Tilly and laugh to see she's not decent enough to open the door herself.

'Who is it?' she whispered to Tilly.

'I'm not sure…. Ohh, must be our dinner.' She said putting her clothes on.

When they were both fully dressed, Tilly went to open the door hoping she didn't looked flushed.

'That wasn't funny.' Tilly said as she put the pizza on the kitchen table hearing Jen.

'I didn't say it was funny.' Jen replied

'Yah, sure.. Remove that silly look on your face then.'

Of course Jen didn't instead she teased her a little bit more.

They settled down in the couch with the TV on, but not really giving it much attention as they were busy chatting, catching up with personal life, Uni and family.

'So you owe Liam a lot for getting you back on your feet?' Tilly asked after Jen told her everything.

'Yah and my mom. They were there for me through the dark days, you know court and all that. I messed up big time, I mean Liam had a go at me at first but I guess he felt bad in the end.' Jen sighed 'It will be a huge let down once they find out about us, and honestly I'm scared Tilly. I don't think they'll understand, I might lose their support and trust for good.' She revealed

Tilly felt sorry but at the same time frightened as to what these could mean to their relationship. The fact that Jen isn't the best when it comes to handling heart related situations, and at this point she just discovered her biggest competition. It's not Sandy or any other woman but its Jen's family. How the heck can she win that battle? She thought.

Jen noticed Tilly became quiet.

'You ok?' she asked touching her leg

'hmm? Oh yeah.. I'm fine. I just remember I have some revisions to do.' She lied

'oh so you're kicking me out?' Jen peered at her.

Tilly chuckled, she pulled Jen for a kiss. 'I want you here in my couch for now and later in my bed.' She winked 'I can revise later, or tomorrow.'

'Nope, I am not going to keep you from studying, so go ahead. Do your thing, I'll wait till you're done. Then we can snuggle for a bit before I head home.' Jen suggested

Tilly moaned on Jen's neck, she indeed needed to get some school work done tonight. She gave Jen a big kiss before getting up to get her books upstairs.

When she was behind the couch, she looked back at Jen who is busy flicking through the channels. If Jen was scared to lose Liam and her Mom, then what are her chances? Tilly let a tear fall off cheek as she head upstairs.


	25. Chapter 25

Tilly composed herself before grabbing her books only to rush back into the bathroom when she heard Jen called out for her, she's already missing her downstairs. Tilly couldn't help her emotions, it's a bit of an overreacting on her part but it scares the shit out her just the thought of losing Jen. She wiped the tears and splashed some cold water on her face. 'Get it together Tilly.' She whispered to herself in the mirror.

'There you are..' Jen said when she heard Tilly finally coming downstairs.

Tilly gave her a weak smile and slumped down on the other end of the couch where Jen was sitting. Lucky for her the light was dimmed and Jen could hardly see her face plus she was busy flicking through the channel.

It was hard for Tilly to focus but giving all her best to stay calmed, for how much longer' she has doubts it'll go far. Knowing Jen can pretty much read her like a book, 'Hands' she thought. Tilly remembered how hands fascinate Jen as they were expressions like eyes, well if Jen sees her eyes right now she's screwed. If she remained focus on her revisions for a little while then maybe Jen will think she's got tired eyes? Then her thoughts lingered back to her hands, which were both clenched hard at her book. 'Fuck this' she thought followed by a groaned which Jen noticed.

'You ok?' Jen asked. She moved closer to Tilly rubbing her back.

Tilly stiffened at the touch.. 'ahh.. errm, yah' she answered leaning her head to Jen's.

'How long do I have to wait?' Jen whispered lovingly on Tilly's ear.

Tilly could almost melt at her lovers adoring means.

'I just started so I say half an hour or so.' Tilly replied as she gently took a hold of Jens face with her other hand hoping Jen doesn't make another move that involves looking at each other. Jen frowned slightly disappointed but thought it's best to leave Tilly to her revisions. If she leaves her alone the faster she'll get done and then she can have her back for the rest of night.

'Ok..' Jen said stealing one quick kiss on Tilly's cheek. Tilly had lost it, Jen was too much for her to resist. She dropped her book and pulled Jen in for kiss, her hands quickly maneuver their way all over Jen. Cupping her face then pulling on her top back to her face again. Jen was oblivious of Tilly's inner turmoil and went with it. The kiss was hard and rough, Jen felt the need for air so she pulled away and got a glimpse of Tilly's face. Tilly knew she's been caught out the way Jen looks at her, she tried to pull Jen back for a kiss but Jen resisted.

'Have you been crying?' Jen asked cupping Tilly's face who can't look at her in the eye.

Jen knew something was wrong and at the same time confused as to why her lover all of sudden had a changed of mode. 'Tilly…hey babe.' she said lifting Tilly's chin so their faces are leveled. Tilly had tears in her eyes causing more worries to Jen.

'oh Tilly, please tell me what's wrong.. Did I hurt you?' Jen pleads wiping the tears on Tilly's cheeks.

Tilly shook her head. 'Nothing's wrong, I'm just being dramatic. I ahm..'

'Liar.. Tell me, did I say something that upset you?' Jen insisted

'what? No.. I ahm, I just remembered something sad and I…'

'Are you having doubts? You think this isn't gonna work, don't you?' Jen asked glaring at Tilly.

'Please tell me Tilly.. I thought we are in this together. That we'll try to gain each other's trust. And that no matter what circumstances we get, you and me will withstand it. Even if our own family will go against us I know we can manage because our love for each other stands above it all.' Jen explained cupping Tilly's face the whole time.

The mention of family threw a big punch on Tilly's stomach. How can Jen say that when moments ago she told her that it scares the shit out her on the thought of losing them. When in fact Tilly pretty much all for Jen, she doesn't care who comes in the way. Tilly shook her head as she looked down.

'When you were telling me about your family, Liam and your Mom.. how they helped you get back on your feet. And didn't judge you after what you've done…' Tilly started. She felt the need to look deep into Jen's eyes so she could see how this had affected her sudden outburst. Jen just stared back at her, she was confused but knew Tilly will make it clear so she remained silent.

'I know you said they weren't very happy when they found out everything but they've come round and eventually supported you, stopped judging you. They think you made a mistake, well we all do. You were given a second chance. And look at you now, making the same mistake. Jen they will flip out and who knows what will happen.' Tilly added, hoping Jen gets it.

'I know they will, and it's going to be tough but they'll come round again. Plus Tilly this isn't a mistake.. she said pointing at both of them. 'It was never a mistake, I handled things badly.. Meeting you, falling for you wasn't a mistake at all.' Jen explained

'I was given a chance to make things right, not just for myself but to you and to everyone that was involved. Tilly you are not my student anymore.. Well in fact I am not a teacher anymore. We are not hurting anyone or breaking anymore laws so it's down to you and me.. if we can take the beating from our family and friends when they found out about us then we should be fine.' She added rubbing Tilly's hand the whole time.

Tilly wasn't convince..

'Jen they will go nuts. They won't accept this, us! I could care less about mine but yours…'

'What about mine?' Jen snapped.. Tilly stood up hands on her face.

'What if they won't come round the fact that the person that ruined your career is back in your life, worst you're back together.. ' Tilly implied

Jen got up and took a hold of Tilly hands.

'I don't know what's causing you to worry so much, what happened to "We will handle this together, no one can stand in our way" phrase you kept telling me, hmm?' Jen tried to lighten up the intense conversation. She smiled at Tilly but Tilly kept a straight face.

'My Mom and Liam won't be the happiest person in the world but I know them well enough to assure you they want the best for me and they want a genuine smile on my face, which I can probably prove you they haven't seen in a long time, I say at least 2 years . You of course being the first on my list of what's best for me.' She smiled at Tilly. 'And I don't know if I have mentioned it to you but my jaw's been hurting quite a lot lately from smiling so much.' Jen added.

'Jen I'm serious.. Do you really think that? What if they won't accept us?' Tilly tried to avoid the right word.

'Yes Tilly.. They have to… or' Jen stopped as she realized what Tilly is on about now. Tilly's eyes widen, a bit frightened at the sudden pause.

'or what?' Tilly asked.

Jen stared lovingly at Tilly, she felt bad for doing this to her, for making her worry so much. Jen felt so much love, this woman in front of her captured her heart since day one and the fact that Tilly undeniably feels the same gave her the warmest feeling inside. She was beyond content. Tilly didn't quite get what she meant when she told her about her family, about losing them. Jen should've made it clear that her Mom and Liam aren't as bad as she thought they were. Yes it's true, Jen is scared to lose them' who isn't? They are her family, her blood. Losing Tilly though, would crush her world. She's been a mess for 2 years without her and now that she's got her back she won't be able to cope if she loses her again.

Jen rested her forehead on Tilly's. 'I love you so much.' She whispered

'I have searched places, I've waited for years, I've taken all the chances, I've cried so many tears, seen so many faces, I've hide a lot of fears then you came back , my heart stopped searching cause I know you are the one. I am not really the type of person that opens up a lot, you know me, I like to save some to myself in case it gets tough but what could be worse than losing you? If I did lose you at least in the end I could say I've given my all, although I'd prefer to have for the rest of my life.' Jen admitted

'Jen, you will not lose me..' Tilly told her.

'I am not going to lose you… I can't Tilly.' Jen had tears in her eyes even at the thought of it.

'I know you flip out when I said I'm scared to lose my mom and Liam but Tilly without you my life is pretty much over. I won't have any direction, I'd be lost.' Jen cried. Tilly pulled her in for the tightest hugged she's ever given.

'You have no idea how much I love you Jen. I am not going anywhere, I am here to stay. I'm sorry for feeling the way I did. It just got to me really bad, but it made me realized that I can't be without you.' Tilly said as she pulled away from the embrace to look deep into Jen's eyes.

'I love you so soo much.' She added then she kissed Jen softly.


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning, Jen is all smile in bed waiting for Tilly who is the shower. Last night gave her a different view on their relationship, it makes her feel so warm inside knowing Tilly love her the way she does. She feels really lucky to have been given another chance, after everything that happened Jen never thought she'd be this happy again. Who is she kidding, of all the people that turned their backs on her, Tilly was last person she thought would forgive her, and after all she got most of the casualties. There's no way I'd mess this up, she thought.

Jen was deep in her thoughts she didn't even notice Tilly come out of the bathroom. Tilly smirked, and threw her towel which landed on Jen's face. Tilly burst out laughing at Jen's reaction who didn't see it coming.

Jen pretended to be pissed, which was hard to pull seeing as Tilly was standing a couple feet away fully naked. 'Not funny' Jen said with a little pout.

Tilly stopped laughing when she noticed Jen didn't look impressed.

She bit her lip and walked over to the bed.

'You're not mad, are you?' Tilly asked

Jen had to look away, arms folded across her chest.

Tilly crawled in front of her, her legs on either side of Jen. Her face just inches away from Jen's face.

'Sorry..' Tilly whispered

Jen shook her head still pretending to be upset but hardly containing it.

'Tell me what I need to do for you to forgive me.' Tilly added as she rubbed her nose on Jen's cheek

Jen looked at her, their nose were touching. 'Soooo?' Tilly seductively said

'Well, maybe you don't do that again..' Jen suggested. She pinched Tilly's nipple as she said so causing Tilly to gasp at the pain. Jen quickly turn Tilly over pinning her down.

'Ouch!' Tilly gasped again, she could still feel the stingy effect of her nipple being pinched. Jen grinned at her then she sucked the nipple to try to soothe it. She was pleased to hear Tilly moan, then she kissed her way up to Tilly's lips. 'Better?' Jen asked

'Not quite.' Tilly responded pulling Jen back for a deeper kiss, her hands soon wandered all over Jen. The two pleasured each other until they both realized it was time for Tilly to go. Tilly got dressed while Jen's in the shower.

Tilly knocked on the bathroom door. 'Jen, I'm heading downstairs. I'll make us breakfast..' she said.

'Ok.' Jen replied

Once downstairs she was met by George who is already making breakfast.

'Good Morning..' Tilly said

'oh hey Tils. Morning to you.. soooo? He beamed at her.

Tilly watched him as she makes coffee for her and Jen.. 'Soo?' she asked confused.

'Are you and Jen officially together? I mean, are you going to let anyone know? He asked.

'Oh, yes we are' she smiled. 'Probably not for a while. I mean who needs to know right? My parents wouldn't be happy but I could care less. I am old enough to make decisions for myself and there isn't much they can do about it same with Jen's.' She shrugged.

'True..' He winked 'I'm so happy for you Tills.' He added.

'Thanks George. To be honest though, I would have not been able to do it without you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.' she sincerely said poking him on his side.

'Sure Tills, I thought Jen was?' He teased

'Well…. Maybe you're in the same level just in a different ways.' She assured him.

'Fine, what does it take to be on the top?' he teased.

Tilly chuckled..

'Oh nevermind, I can't do whatever Jen does to you.' He cringed

Tilly laughed gently punching him.

'So how are you Kent?' Tilly asked as she set the kitchen table.

'We're ok, getting to know each other. I don't really want to get so attached, he's sweet and all but he's dated way more than me. Experience wise he's way out there.' He told her.

'That's true, he seems like a good guy. And oh by the way George, I've been thinking. If you and Kent did ended up together, at some point he'll find out about me and Jen's past. I kinda figured it's best to let him know now? Not that it matters but I really think you two really like each and I definitely don't want to ruin anything. I did have a go at him when he was being judgmental about Jen, after that though he's changed a lot.' Tilly explained

'I see what you mean Tills and there's no way I'm tolerating that, maybe I'll invite him one night for dinner along with you and Jen. We'll let him know, his actions would either sent him out of the door or in my bedroom.' He winked

Tilly chuckled at the thought of it. 'Oh god.' She said

'Right, breakfast is ready. Where's your lover?'

'She's taking a shower when I came down, she'll be here soon, I hope. Got Uni in half an hour.' Tilly replied sitting down.

'You might have worn her out and she's having a hard time getting dress.' He laughed almost choked on his food.

'You might be right.' She joked

Jen was about to head downstairs when her phone started to ring. It was Sandy.

She wasn't sure what she wanted but recalled that she's leaving the country soon.

"Hello.." Jen answered

"Hey Jen, how you been?"

"I've never been better, thanks. How are you?"

"Got my last box in the car. Heading down under."

"Australia?"

"Yep, I accepted the job offer, start over."

Jen felt bad, she knew it was mostly because of her that led her to move away.

"Lucky." Jen said half-hearted

"I know, can't pass on opportunities like this…."

"Who would huh?"

Silence filled the line for a few seconds.

"Can I please see you one last time?" Sandy asked carefully.

Jen swallowed hard, she didn't think it was a good idea especially now that her and Tilly are back on track, happier than ever.

"I ahmmm.. I don't think it's..

"Please…" Sandy pleads

Jen was torn, she knew she owe Sandy at least a decent goodbye. Sandy did gave her a good advice regarding Tilly, even though it killed her to give Jen up. And through her darker days, Sandy was there for her. It was just sad that she couldn't return the love she's given her.

"I will have to call you back.." Jen told her

"Ok, My flight's tonight.. so anytime between now and 7pm would be fine."

"Ok."

Jen sighed after the call. If she did go and meet Sandy Tilly needs to know she thought.

No more hiding and definitely no more lies..


	27. Chapter 27

Jen was almost at the end of the steps when she heard Tilly and George laughing..

'Oh by the way Tills, how was it with Esther yesterday?' George asked. Jen stop dead on track hearing it. She couldn't figure when and why Tilly didn't mentioned it.

'Oh, ahmm.. It was ok. She had a go at me but I expected it. Didn't really think she'd quickly come round the idea that I was all loved-up with her then all of a sudden I'm dumping her. I asked her if we could at least stay friends, I thought she was ok' then we started talking about Jen. She was telling me how stupid I am letting Jen back in my life blah blah..' Tilly explained.

Jen felt terrible hearing this, she knew it was bound to happen but she'd rather have these people go at her not at Tilly. Jen figured Tilly might have been upset after talking to Esther yesterday although it was hard to tell.

George clenched his teeth..'Hmm, that's Esther for you.. Hopefully she can come round with the idea, it's ashamed to throw away what, almost 5 years of friendship..' He thoughtfully said

'Good Morning' Jen joined them. George and Tilly looked at each other, both had a wary look. Not sure if Jen heard their conversation just now.

'You two ok?' Jen asked sitting beside Tilly.

Tilly looked at George then to Jen..'Er yah, breakfast?' She replied apprehensively

George got up and picked up his plate putting it on the sink.

'Right, I've got to go.. It was good to see you Jen.' He waved.

'You too.' Jen smiled at him.

'See yah Tills.' He gently squeezed her shoulder as if to tell her Jen heard and she's got to tell her about it.

As soon as Tilly heard the door closed she shifted towards Jen.

Tilly swallowed hard.. 'I am not sure if you heard us..'

'I did..' Jen cut her looking directly into Tilly's eyes. She gently caressed Tilly's face. 'So she had a go at you?' She asked

Tilly couldn't believe it, she expected Jen to be all upset about it instead she's all adorably sweet.

Tilly just nodded. Then she planted her lips on Jen's.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it.. I just didn't want to ruin our night, she came to pick up her stuff and we had a little heated conversation.' Tilly explained shaking her head.

'It was something special with her, wasn't it?' Jen carefully asked causing Tilly to stare at her in disbelief.

'I don't mind if it was… two years Tilly. A lot of things happened.. I get it, Esther was there for you and you knew there was something there, explains why you give it a go right?' Jen blatantly said.

Tilly took Jen's hand. 'Maybe it was, but was it enough?' Tilly look down shaking her head. 'It wasn't... I'm such a hypocrite, I craved for more! Maybe it was special in a way that we had each other's company through the tough times, when you left. I don't blame you for leaving though. Everyone expected it but I was a miserable, angry and no one to turn to but to her and George of course. Then I saw you again. I actually think what we had before was something special, look at us now. ' She smiled which Jen returned.

'There's something about you, I am not gonna go all sensational about it but please believe me when I tell you I've never been so happy in my whole life until you came into my life.' Tilly bared

'And that's not sensational?' Jen mocked her.

'Wow, thanks.' Tilly said slightly embarrassed.

'It's ok, I have that effect on people.' Jen winked

'Sure, like Sandy.' Tilly sulked

That comment reminded Jen about Sandy and her request to meet up with her before leaving the country.

'erm.. Tilly..' Jen started rubbing Tilly's hand. 'About Sandy.. she's ahm.. she's moving away, out of the country.'

'She wants you to go with her?' Tilly asked anxiously.

'No! She won't even dare, It shouldn't even cross her mind if she knows me well enough.' Jen assured her.

'So what then? What does she want from you? She's leaving, I'm sure it isn't because of you right?' Tilly was confused.

Jen sighed. 'Well, she want to see me before she go. I feel like I owe her at least a descent goodbye.' She said uneasy.

Tilly frowned. Even though Jen explained the whole Sandy thing to her last night, it doesn't change the fact that this woman is madly in love with Jen. Who wouldn't be? And this saying goodbye to an old-flame which might include a hug or what more, a kiss is causing a bit of a knot on Tilly's stomach just at the thought of it. Besides Sandy have caused them enough trouble even if she didn't mean to.

'It's ok if you don't want me to.' Jen smiled. Tilly stroked Jen's face then she kissed her passionately.

'I don't mind, and you are right. She deserve a descent sendoff from you.' Tilly told her 'But…. I need to see you again tonight.' She said enticingly causing Jen to bite her lip.

'Fine, but you come meet me at work. Then I'll take you back to my place.' Jen suggested.

'How about Liam?'

'He won't be home, he's working tonight. If he catches us tomorrow then that saves me time from stressing about them finding out about us. Either they find out now so we could deal with it or wait and hide again like before, it was horrible.' Jen explained half serious. After she said it though, she couldn't help but imagine it happening. Maybe It wasn't a bad thing. It's going to happen sooner or later.

'You're kidding!' Tilly grimaced.

'It's not a bad thing, is it? Jen chuckled.

'It is when we only just got back together and haven't sorted our ex's. Let's do this one step at a time babe.' Tilly sighed.

'You're right, but you never know what could happen.' Jen said getting up to get more coffee. Tilly looked at her in horror.

'So I can't see you tonight?' Tilly glumly asked.

'I'll sneak you out tomorrow morning.' Jen winked. Tilly got up and walked towards Jen kissing her softly.

'You miss those days huh?' Tilly teased her.

'Oh god no.' Jen quickly answered. Smiling as she recall.

'Oh come on, maybe a little?' Tilly insisted causing them both to laugh.

'Why, do you miss it?' Jen asked her.

'Maybe a little, it's exciting… It makes me want to make the most of every seconds that we shared together.' Tilly admitted

'I'm sure even if our time together isn't limited we'll still make the most it.' Jen said kissing Tilly's neck.

As much as Tilly enjoyed the moment with Jen, she knew she had to go soon. They walked hand in hand towards the door.

'So what time are you meeting Sandy?' Tilly asked.

'In an hour or so, I need to head home first. I'm going to check and make sure Liam is working tonight. You'll come see me at work right? Jen beamed hoping for a yes.

'I can't wait..' Tilly delightedly said.

They kissed one last time then headed out.


	28. Chapter 28

**I Hope y'all had an awesome weekend :) **

Jen decided to meet Sandy at work, and an hour before she starts her shift, knowing Sandy' she's going to want to hang around till she's literally being told to go and work is the best excuse Jen could think of. Kent will be working same shift as hers too, the last thing she needs is for him to think there's still something going on between the two of them.

Jen took advantage of her free morning and slept for hours, not only emotionally drained but her bodies screaming for much needed rest. She laid in bed beaming as she recall the night before, it was quite emotional but heart whelming moment with Tilly. She's amazed of how mature Tilly has become, how she handles things. Who is she kidding, it's what drawn her to the red head in the first place anyways. She would've not known she's a sixth former if she wasn't caught out or Tilly didn't told her. Two years and Tilly have totally altered into a real classy behave young women. When she was her age, there wasn't a weekend that she woke up on a normal state. Hangover, flat's littered with empty beer bottle, girlfriend crashing, pretty much all about partying. It did eventually die down as her year went. Jen's definitely not proud of those days, if she can go back and change it she would. There was more to it than partying she thought. And as for Tilly, Jen is nothing but impressed of what she has become. Can't be thankful enough that after all they've been through in the past, it didn't have a negative impact to how Tilly's living her life now.

Jen heard Liam rummaging in the kitchen, he too had a long night shift and crashed in bed as soon as he got home.

'Hey..' Jen calls cheerful

'Oh hey sis.' He said looking at Jen who looked surprisingly happy.

'Wow, have you look at yourself in the mirror lately? You've got to shave that…' Jen suggested. Liam glared at her in disagreement.

'Chicks dig this.' He confidently said causing Jen laugh. 'Are you making us coffee then since your making fun of me?'

'Coffee at this time of the day? But fine I'll make you one, it's the least I can do for you brother.' Jen said giving him a thumbs down about the whole mustache and beard he's got growing.

'So, what have you been up to lately?' he asked as he leaned on the kitchen counter watching Jen make the coffee.

'Nothing much really..' Jen shrugged.

Liam scoffed.. 'Not seeing anyone special? I mean come on sis, you've been out all night in the last two days.'

'So I am not allowed to have a life.' She snapped

'Whoa Jen I didn't say that. You know I don't mind at all, in fact I'm happy for you. After Sandy..' He sighed. 'I know I'm the one who set the two of you up, It may have backfired when I saw you weren't happy with her and I didn't expect her to be real smitten about you almost right away. I promise though, I will not interfere with your personal life anymore. And I haven't really seen you this happy in a while.' He winked taking the coffee from Jen. 'Thanks.'

Jen crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Liam, she's itching to tell him the truth. She pictured it in her head.

'hmm, well I'm happy.' Jen Admitted. She truly wanted to tell him right there and then but her and Tilly agreed to take it one step at a time. Realistically, there isn't a right time to break the news so there isn't much point in waiting. They'll get upset no matter what, and Jen just want to get that out of the way now and be with the woman she loves without looking behind their shoulders, and most of all she wanted to go out in public with Tilly hand in hand just like any other couple. Her and Tilly are a team now so she opted to wait like planned.

Liam simply raised his eyebrow, he anticipated more from Jen but thought she didn't wanna go over it yet and he respect that as long as Jen is happy, he's waited so long for this.

'That's awesome news sis..Finally..' He smiled.

The two obviously had a lot to say and ask but feeling really awkward at the situation, they haven't really had a conversation about Jen's personal life in a while. Liam always got the 'It's fine' replies from Jen and immediately jumping to a different topic when he asked about her and Sandy. Well up until they broke up.

'I will tell you more about it when we're both ready.' Jen thought she'd start by saying that to dismiss the awkwardness, she knew Liam's itching to find out who, but for now he'll have to wait.

'Fine, but better not cause you any trouble now.' He winked finishing off his coffee. Jen swallowed hard at the comment. 'Shit' she thought.

'Just kidding.. right sis, I'll let you go.. Going to watch my game now.'

Jen just nodded, still thinking about what Liam just said. Part of her felt like Liam meant 'it better not be Tilly', a bit of an alarm there. She didn't want to overthink it, it's going to happen no matter what, just have to prepare for it she thought.

Before Jen left for work she made sure Liam was indeed working that night. It will be Tilly's first time at her place, well proper one. The first one didn't count much as she was a big messed then. Quite embarrassing actually. But that's when they started to get really close again, so she wouldn't change it.

On her way to work, she checked her phone and smiled as she saw Tilly has texted her.

**'I miss you so much.. please don't go running back to Sandy's arms leaving me in pieces! *kidding* I hope it goes well, I can't wait to see you tonight. Love you Xxx'**

Jen chuckled, she thought it was really cute.

**'Cheeky, I wouldn't even dare babe. Can't wait either.. love you too. Xxx'**

Jen arrived at work, a familiar voice called her from behind.

'Thanks for agreeing to meet me.' Sandy calls, she's already got a glass of wine in hand for her and Jen sitting by the bar.

'Oh, I can't. I'm working in half an hour.' Jen told her when Sandy offered her the wine. As Jen move closer she could tell by the smell of alcohol leaking out of Sandy's breathe that whatever she's drinking isn't her first glass.

'What time is your flight again?' Jen wanted to make sure.

'Around 7 I think. I have enough time don't worry.' She grinned.

'You think? It looks like you've had enough of that, better sober up before you miss your flight. I doubt they'd let you in at the airport even.' Jen suggested taking the wine from Sandy which she quickly moved away.

'No no no no… Sshhh.. You stop there Gilmore.' She blinked hard. 'I don't care.. I miss my flight I don't care. It's fine, then I get to spend another day or so with you..'

Jen's jaw dropped a little.

'I can't believe you're doing this again! What are you thinking?' Jen got annoyed quickly, she knew Sandy wasn't going to make it easy. Alcohol doesn't really go well with her then she went and got wasted. Worst, a couple hours before her flight.

'I just want to celebrate for you, finally Jen you're happy. Unfortunately not with me.' she chuckled weakly. 'But I'd drink to that.' She added raising her glass which Jen swiftly grabbed.

'Hey, that's not very nice of you to do!'

Jen glared at her, there was no way she's getting it back.

'Fine… I'm getting another one.'

Jen shook her head at the Bartender. 'She's had enough.' Jen told him.

'Ugh Jen you're a bore.' Sandy sulked

'Why are you doing this? I thought we've sorted this out, moving on. Look, I am really sorry for everything. You know I tried, I certainly did. You're a lovely woman, and if you go out there, be who you are, genuinely sweet and kind.' Jen sighed taking Sandy's hand. 'Who wouldn't wanna bag you?' Jen smiled.

'Well, I know someone who wouldn't.' Sandy joked causing Jen to roll her eyes, she knew Sandy meant her. They looked at each other, Sandy thought she's made a big fool of herself and felt uncomfortable which Jen noticed.

'Alcohol wearing off?' She teased.

Sandy can hardly look at Jen, it hurts ten times knowing she's in love with someone else. She looked even more beautiful, the way she smiles and her eyes, for once they are glittering. She must be really happy, Sandy thought.

'Sorry.. I don't know what I was thinking. I had a glass then another. You took forever to arrive, so it's your fault, there's nothing better for me to do. You choose to meet here and I have this guy who kept offering me another drink. That would've been rude if I refused.' She joked pointing at the tender.

'Not funny.' Jen shook her head with a bit of smile.

The two chatted for a little while until Jen had to work. They walked a crossed the Pub where Sandy parked her car.

'Soooo… You will take care of yourself, won't you?' Sandy asked.

'I will don't worry, I hope will do the same. And don't have too much fun now.'

The two hugged oblivious of Esther watching from a far.

When they pulled apart, Sandy pulled Jen close and whispered 'Just one last.' Not even waiting for a respond, she planted her lips on Jen's. Esther didn't waste any time as she snapped away on her phone.

'Payback's a bitch.' Esther whispered


	29. Chapter 29

**Happy Weekend :)**

Jen roughly pushed Sandy away. 'What the heck are you doing?' She asked stunned. Scanning around them to make sure no one saw, and sure enough she spotted Kent who like Esther saw the whole thing. He just arrived to work when they caught his attention. Jen didn't see Esther who have plead the scene quickly.

'Shit! Jen I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.' Sandy pleads  
'Look, it's just Kent. He knows about us, what is he going to do?'

Jen shuts her eyes hard as she try to squeeze her forehead.  
'Funny you should say that, cause he also knows that I'm a with Tilly. Fuck Sandy why do you have to do that?!' Jen can't help but raised her voice causing the people walking by to look.

'I'll come explain it to him! I'm going to tell him you didn't expect me to.. '

'Forget it! Just go...' Jen snapped before going back inside the Pub.

Sandy felt really bad but her emotions took over plus the alcohol still lingers in her system making it all harder to control her actions. The look of horror on Jen's face when she saw Kent proves just how much Tilly meant to her. Sandy felt jealous, Jen not once became protective of their relationship. It broke her heart again, but she isn't obsess or anything. All she wanted is for Jen to love her back. Sadly it never happen. Nonetheless, she's genuinely happy for Jen. She drove off hoping she hasn't screwed up anything after kissing Jen as it wasn't her intension at all.

Inside the Pub, Jen followed Kent who headed into the back.

'Kent..' She called

'Hey, listen.. What you saw out there. Well it's not what you think...

'I know, I saw the whole thing.' He smiled reassuring Jen.

'The woman still have strong feelings for you.. Don't worry I won't tell Tilly.' He said patting Jen's shoulder

Jen sighed of relief. 'Thanks, I don't know what's gotten into Sandy.. She said shaking her head.

'She just wanted to meet up before leaving, she's moving away to Australia. So I agreed.. I even told Tilly.' She explained.

'The kiss stunned me too. I wouldn't do such thing to jeopardize my relationship with Tilly, I swear...' Jen felt like Kent needed to have it all cleared out, anything that she thought could wobble things needed to be sorted out before it burst and caused bigger conflicts. Little did she know, Esther have it all covered.

-

Tilly arrived back to the flat, she too felt the need to refresh. She went straight to Uni that morning, unlike Jen she didn't get any rest at all. Smiling to herself as she recall the last 24 hours of her life, happiness and contentment was all Tilly could describe it as. Checking the time, it's merely a few hours till she see Jen again. She bit her lips thinking of what tonight could bring. Feeling mischievous she texted Jen.

'I can't hardly wait to see you.. Just skip the last hour or two of work, I'll make it worth your while. I love you so much.. Xxx'

Tilly Sent the text, poured a glass of wine and headed to the living room. Before long her phone starter to ring. It was George.

'Hey Georgie, what's up?' She answered.

'Hey Tills, nothing really.. Have you heard from Esther?'

'Esther? No, not really? Why?'

'Well I got a call from Frankie, it looks like Jack had another heart attack, she told Esther who got really upset and wanted to go back home. But I guess Frankie told her to stay here and they'll take care of him.'

'Wow, did she say if Jack's going to be ok?'

'She's not sure. But they are worried about Esther too. Frankie asked if we could look after her at least until Jack's stable.'

'Oh, of course.' Tilly isn't sure what this could end up doing to her and Jen but it's not a debatable situation. Even after what's happened, Tilly's hopeful that her and Esther can get back to being friends.

'Are you sure? What about Jen?'

'I'm sure she'll understand.' Tilly said biting her lip hesitant.

After the call, Tilly slumped on the couch playing with her phone. She checked the time, a bit early but she decided to head over to the Pub and talk to Jen about Esther. Texting and calling her didn't really went well before so she'll go see her.

Tilly grabbed her coat and headed to the door, shocked to see Esther as she opened it.

'Esther! You frightened me..' Tilly gasped holding her chest.

'Sorry, I shouldn't be here..' Esther replied walking away.

'No no.. wait!' Tilly grabbed her. 'Come on, let's go inside.'

Once inside, Tilly got a better view of Esther's face. Her eyes swollen, probably from crying and pale from standing out in cold with just a hoodie on. Tilly guided her to kitchen where she made some tea.

'Here, drink it.'

'Thanks.' Esther took it but looking anywhere but Tilly.

'I heard what happened to Jack, I'm sure he's going to be ok. It's Jack, he's resilient.' Tilly smiled holding Esther's hand. Esther smiled back.

'I hope so. Frankie won't let me go see him. But what am I going to do, I'm so scared. What if Jack won't make it…' Esther cried

'SShhh..' He'll be fine. Don't say stuff like that.'

Tilly got up and gave Esther a hug..

A few minutes later, Esther have calmed down. Tilly knew she can't leave Esther all upset with no one by her side. She needed to let Jen know.

'I'm going to make a phone call real quick.' She told Esther.

Esther just watch her walked to the living room, she had an idea who Tilly is calling.

Lucky for Tilly Jen was on her break so she was able to answer.

'Hey babe, miss me?' Jen answered

Tilly smiled 'Always… Listen, I ahm.. I might not be able to come see you tonight.'

'Ooohh.. why not?' Jen moan.

Tilly swallowed. She's not sure how to explain her about Esther.

'Tilly are you ok?' Jen asked, she could sense something' wrong.

'Do you remember Jack? Esther's granddad..'

Jen tried to recall him for a second and she knew right then it was about Esther.

'I do, yah.. What about him?'

'Well, he was taken to the hospital. Another Heart attack. And ahmm..' Tilly was finding it so hard to tell Jen.

'Is he ok?'

'I am not sure, but Frankie asked us, me and George if we could look after Esther. They don't want her to worry about him, you know with everything that's happened and we are her only family here.' Tilly explained almost whispering so Esther can't hear her.

'oh….' Was all that Jen could say. She already feel Jealous at the thought of Tilly comforting Esther. But she do understand where Tilly's coming from, she could tell Tilly's uncomfortable with the situation, after all Esther's an Ex.

'Jen? You there?' Tilly asked as Jen became quiet and didn't really say anything.

'errmm, yah.. I'm just thinking…'

Tilly sighed, she gets it. She wouldn't want Jen to be anywhere near Sandy either.

'I love you and I miss you.. I was really looking forward to our night together. And this happened.' Tilly Sincerely said

Jen smile as she hear this. 'You need to trust her.' Jen told herself.

'Listen babe, I honestly don't like to see you with anyone else but me.' She giggled as she certainly sounded selfish there. 'Especially not with Esther but I know she means a lot to you and at the moment she needs you and George. So go ahead do what you gotta do, I trust you and I love you too.'

'You're so sweet. I'll make it up to you.'

'Hmm.. I like the sound of that.' Jen chuckled.

'I love you… I will call you before I go to bed.'

'OK, I love you too.'

Even though Jen told Tilly she was ok with it deep inside she was totally bummed her night with Tilly was cancelled. And worst she's not sure whether Esther's with her now and what they'll be doing. She is confident Tilly won't do anything stupid, It's Esther who she's worried about. She felt strange, feeling sick in her stomach as she could sense trouble.

'Oi! You ok?' Kent snapped her out of her thoughts.

Jen told Kent what happened, feeling the need to get it out of her chest.

'So what are you going to do?' Ken asked

'Wait, I guess..' she glumly said rubbing the back of her neck.

'I don't really know Tilly that much longer than you do but in that short amount of time I spent with her I can positively say she's a great person. She isn't the type of person that fools around. I'm not sure if you guys are on the next level of connection now however I can tell she really like you, like a lot.' Kent said unknowingly. Causing Jen to smile, she realize Kent knows nothing about their past.

'Is that a smile I see smudged in your face?' He teased

'Maybe…. So you think she likes me a lot huh?' She teased back

'ahuh, more than that even..'

'Right…. Well, I hate to break it to you but it's time to go back to work.' She gently pushed him out of the room following behind still smiling.

The next morning, Jen was up early ready for her day. A few courses for her to attend today. She was supposed to wake up beside the woman she love but instead Esther is taking all of her time. And worst she had a sleepless night, Tilly did call her before bed but only to inform her Esther is staying the night at their place. She Tossed and turned throughout the night until her alarm started buzzing just when her mind and body relaxed to sleep. Her day hasn't started well at all.

Jen grab her coffee mug and head to the door. Liam just then arrived home.

'Morning sis..' Liam acknowledge her.

'Hey..' She respond putting her coat on.

Liam was about to say something as he notice Jen's mood change but she rushed out and almost slamming the door at him. He just stands there, mouth wide open.

Tilly had a slightly different morning. She got some sleep, but her neck and back was sore from sleeping in the couch. She offered Esther to stay in her bedroom for the night.

She got up and stretched for dear life.

'Ouch!' She whimper as she might of pulled a muscle in the process.

'Good morning!' George cheerfully told her from the kitchen.

'Oh hi. Morning..' She yawned.

'Slept good?' George asked sarcastically.

'Ergh.. Worst night ever. That couch is only comfortable when you're sitting on it but definitely not to sleep on.' She said rubbing her shoulder.

'Awe, poor you.. I bet you wish you woke up in Jen's bed this morning..' He teased handing her a cup of coffee.

'Thanks. Bet yah, There's no place in the world I'd rather be..' She admitted. Unaware of Esther who heard what she just said, quietly coming down the stairs.

'Good Morning.' Esther appeared startling the two.

'Morning..' Tilly and George both said

'How are you feeling this morning?' Tilly asked

'Fine, for what it is..' She sighed. 'Thank you for letting me stay the night.'

George and Tilly smiled at her.. 'Well you can stay as long as you need.' Tilly told her looking at George then back to Esther.

'I agree with Tilly, you're always welcome here.' George agreed

'Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I need to go and get change though, I have Uni in an hour.' Esther said walking over to the door.

George looked at Tilly and mouthed 'She heard.' But Tilly ignored him.

'Call or text us if ever you need anything or just come here. I'm sure one of us will be around. Plus if you've kept your key then might as well let yourself in.' Tilly offered. Esther just nodded as she open the door.

'See yah!' George called out. Esther smiled weakly closing the door.

'She totally heard our conversation about Jen.' George told Tilly almost right away.

Tilly just shrugged then head upstairs to ring Jen.

Outside the door, Esther have a delinquent smirked. Everything's just the way she wanted it. Just that morning, Frankie called informing her that Jack had a successful Bypass surgery and he's awake so she didn't have to worry. Proceeding to her next move, which is to take care of Jen. If she can't have Tilly back in her life then either could Jen.


	30. Chapter 30

**yay, 30 chapters.. how the heck did I do that? :P**

**Sorry for taking so long to update.. LIFE! **

**Enjoy! ^^**

Later that day, Jen could hardly make it to her bedroom. Her sleepless night is starting to catch up on her. She threw her purse on the desk and collapsed in bed instantly drifted to sleep.

Tilly called her a few times which she wasn't able to answer being in the middle of her course. She's left her a voicemail saying how much she missed her and told her about the whole thing with Esther. Jen tried to call her back but Tilly didn't pick up either. She figured Tilly's at Uni. So far nothing is making Jen's day any better.

Tilly on the other hand is on the bus on her way home, she pulled out her phone as soon as she's seated. She sighed miserably seeing as Jen have tried to call her back. It's unbearable how the two of them haven't even able to talk on the phone at least. Tilly checked the time, she's got about two hours before Jen had to work. After trying to get a hold of Jen and few text messages without any return Tilly figured it's best to take her chances and go over to Jen's place. Her fingers crossed Jen's alone.

Reaching Jen's block, Tilly slowly walk being really careful. She was startled when someone from behind her jogged right beside her, turning her head opposite the guy. Fear quickly rushed through her body as she realized it was Liam. Lucky for her he didn't look over his shoulder or he would've seen her. Tilly quickly hide behind a car still looking at Liam who is now opening the door. 'Shit' Tilly whispered. Moments later, someone approached Liam who looks certainly familiar. It was Sandy. Tilly was confused, Jen told her she's gone abroad yesterday. So why the heck is she still around and why is she at Jen's. Tilly thought. She hang around for a while, just watching Liam and Sandy, it seems as if they're having a really serious discussion. Then Liam invited her inside.

Tilly didn't know what to think, did Jen lie to her? Is she at home, was sandy looking for her? Or did Jen stopped her from leaving. Why didn't she mention anything to her the other night? Tilly has millions of question as she head home, she was lost in her own thoughts she didn't hear Esther calling from behind her until she touch her shoulder making Tilly jumped.

'Oh shoot, hey Esther.' Tilly swallowed.

'Are you ok?' Esther asked frowning at her.

'ahhhh.. yah. I'm just tired, long day..'

'oh, you didn't get enough sleep last night, did you? I told you I should've been in the couch.'

Tilly chuckled slightly.. 'It's fine, you needed a better sleep than I do.. So how are you? How's Jack?'

Esther nodded. 'He's fine.. Got through it again, like what you said he's resilient.' She smiled.

'Wow, that's good news..' Tilly said nudging her a bit,

'Yah, it is…' Esther shyly said, she can't hide the longing stare in her eyes. Tilly instantly noticed making it uncomfortable for her. She cleared her throat.

'So, do you have anything planned for the rest of the day or tonight? It's Friday..' Tilly asked awkwardly.

'Nothing really, study I guess. Anyway, this is my turn.' Esther nodded to the street coming up as they walk.

'Ohh.. Ok.. ahmm.. or you could come and have a movie night with me and George.' Tilly offered, not really thinking.

Esther stayed quiet.

'But if you want to study then, that's fine..' Tilly smiled.

'Well what about Jen? Don't you want to spend some time with her? Like you said it's Friday..' Esther said acting as if she cared about Jen at all. But it's all part of her plan.

Tilly didn't know what to say, she's really confused. But she didn't want to jump into any conclusion until she hear from Jen. There's doubts starting to creep in her head but she's trying to push it aside. Hanging out with Esther isn't really an ideal distraction, nevertheless she knows it's all about helping her out and maybe they can get back to being friends again.

'I'm sure Jen will understand, besides she's working. George and I don't have anything planned, we've got a few DVD's the other day.. Soo?'

Esther pretend to think about it, deep inside she's screaming with joy. 'If you're sure?' She asked.

'I am..'

The two went their separate way, they agreed to start the movie at 6 so they can get done early which leaves them time to do whatever they want after. Tilly already planned to meet Jen, even if she haven't heard from her. Regardless of what she saw today, Tilly is aching to see and touch Jen.

Over at Jen's Liam was knocking at her door. 'Fuck off' Jen moaned.

'Jen! Sandy is here.. Jen!' Liam called.

Jen open her eyes.. 'Did he just said Sandy?' She deliberated. She didn't move, instead she waited for Liam to say something again. It couldn't be right, because sandy left yesterday. She thought.

Liam knocked again.. 'Jen wake up! Sandy wants to talk to you..'

This time Jen instantly rolled over to her back! Hands on her face.  
'Now what?' She whispered getting up. She was gonna put her gown on but notice she didn't need to. Shaking her head, thinking how tired she must have been not even able to get change or remove her shoes.

Jen open her door and Sandy was indeed in the living room with Liam who are both staring at her.

'I'll leave you to it, I'm going to take a shower.' Liam said leaving the two to talk.

Jen walked to the kitchen getting herself a glass of water. Sandy trailed after her.

'Missed your flight?' Jen asked

'No, I postponed it. I'm leaving next week.' Sandy illuminated

Jen eyed her, trying to make out what this is all about.

'I care about you Jen. To be honest, I'm moving because of you.' Sandy admitted causing Jen to roll her eyes.

'Great, so what are you trying to do, get me in trouble before you leave?' Jen bluntly said which she didn't really intend to spat out . She was just in a foul mood.

'Look Sandy..' She sighed 'I don't know what this is about or what you intend to do but we've already talked about it and I have no time for it..'

'I know..' Sandy interfered. 'Jen, I have no intentions of intruding your life. I'm not a selfish psycho ex. Yesterday I had too much to drink, I'm not gonna lie and say the kiss was because of the alcohol.' She explained. Jen just doesn't quite get what Sandy is telling her.

'Your confusing me..' Jen said shaking her head.

'I need to make sure I didn't mess up anything after yesterday. I know you're really happy with Tilly, It's pretty obvious. A massive change in your face, you smile a lot now. I thought you just didn't care about the world the whole time we were together. You just live by the day, hardly asked if I was ok. I can understand that, after everything you've been through. Must be hard to trust someone again, open up and all that. Then she came back, look at you.' Sandy by now is in tears. 'I'm really happy for you Jen. Tilly is truly lucky to have you.'

Jen's heart broke at Sandy's words. She knew Sandy is an amazing person, unfortunately as much as she tried, Jen couldn't return the love she had for her. She doesn't know what to say, so she gave Sandy a hug instead.

'I'm sorry.. For everything that I've done and haven't done. I tried, you know I did..' Jen sincerely said.

Sandy just nodded.

After half an hour or so Sandy left. Jen was actually glad that was cleared, and it isn't going to cause any trouble for her and Tilly. Although she felt really sorry for Sandy. There isn't much she could do about it, she's warned Sandy from the start that she isn't ready for anything serious. She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling real stressed. Half an hour left before she had to go to work, Jen rushed and got ready. She tried to call Tilly on her way to work this time Tilly picked up.

'Hey..' Tilly answered

'Oh thank goodness! I've been trying to get a hold of you all day. I miss you so much!'

'hmm.. me too.' Tilly glumly said, getting up from bed, she had a quick nap.

'Are you ok?' Jen wondered, Tilly doesn't sound as enthusiast talking to her.

Before Tilly drifted to her sleep, her mind was occupied by Jen, questions after the other, worries. She simply overthink it. 'Yah, I just woke up from a nap. How are you?' Tilly asked not wanting to Jen worry. They still have hours to wait till they see each other.

But Jen could sense something's wrong. 'Are you sure, I can call in and come see you?' Jen offered. Tilly remembered she had a movie night with Esther and George or that offer from her lover would've been a no-brainer. 'ah shit!' she whispered, which Jen heard.

'What?' Jen asked.

'Well I have a movie night with Esther and George. But I'll come see you after..' Tilly bit her lip having to tell Jen she's going to be with Esther again.

Jen was lost for words. Can't contain her jealousy but want to keep it cool for Tilly. 'She's just helping her..' Jen keep telling herself.

'Or just come?' Tilly offered but thought it's not a good idea.

'You're kidding? With Esther? Are you out of your mind Tilly?' Jen laughed

Tilly didn't like how Jen reacted, it is going to be awkward but Jen could've at least suggest a better option than mocking her like that.

'I can't believe you would even suggest that.' Jen added, She couldn't contain her frustration of not seeing Tilly and jealousy took over.

'Wow, I can't believe you..' Tilly by now was mad, adding everything that she found out and saw that day. 'You have better suggestion then? Cause as much as I want to see you I'd rather not if you're going to come with an attitude like that. I expected you to at least consider my position.' Tilly spat out, hating to have this argument with Jen on the phone.

'So what do want me to say, Oh sure Tilly I'll come watch a movie with you and your ex.?, did you even consider how uncomfortable would that be for me and for her. Or what else do you want me to suggest, that you cancel on them and come see me instead, then that would make me look like a selfish bitch isn't it?' Jen too was mad.

Tilly was stunned, unable to speak. She could tell how hard it is for Jen to be where she's at, Tilly thought Jen would understand.

'I'm sorry, I thought you..

'Understand?' Jen cut her. 'Tilly I've only just got you back in my life, can you blame me if I'm being so impatient and greedy when it comes to you and your time?' Jen knew it wasn't enough excuse. 'Look Tilly, I'm horrible I know, I've just had a terrible night and day. And I just miss you tremendously! Jen sighed

Tilly could feel Jen's turmoil, she's kicking herself for planning something that includes Esther without considering Jen. It's never a good idea to make decisions even on a slightest anger. But what about Sandy, how come Jen hasn't mention her and why is she at her flat that day.

'Listen Tilly, I'm going to ask if I can leave work early ok. Then maybe we can meet somewhere. I have something to tell you too but I don't want to do it on the phone. Forget my outburst, I'm just really frustrated.' Jen had to reassure Tilly she's not mad at her, but with their situation.

'OK..' was all that Tilly could say.. Silence filled the line for a few seconds.

'I love you Tilly..' Jen said dotingly.

Tilly smiled, she felt every word. 'I love you too.'

'I'll see you later ok?' Jen reassured.

'I'll be counting every minute till I see you.' Tilly replied.

'Ok, bye'

'bye'

Later that day at Tilly's, Esther arrived with a box of pizza.

'Hey! ooh you didn't have to bother.' George told Esther letting her in. 'Have a sit, Tilly's making us drinks to start the night.' He winked.

'I thought it's just a movie night.' Esther asked following him to the kitchen.

'Yep, but might as well have a lil drink.' Tilly said handing them their drinks.

'Thank you, hmm.. by the way. Kent's coming over too.. He should be here soon. Can we wait for him before we start the movie? George smiled.

'Kent? The guy that works at the Pub?' Esther asked

'Yep, looks like George here is having a ball with the guy.' Tilly joked, winking at George.

'yah, yah.. whatever Tills. He's alright don't you think Esther?

Esther shrugged. 'I don't really know the person. But you seemed excited about him, why not.'

They purposely talked about George's love life for obvious reasons. Until it got to the point where they've covered every aspects of it. Luckily before it got completely awkward, someone knocked on the door.

'Oh finally! Tilly Joked, deep down she's glad. She went and open the door.

'Heyyyy!' Kent cheered 'I'm here! Sorry I've been chased by my landlord on my way out of the flat.' He explained walking in.

'No worries..' Tilly smiled.

'Oh, I think this is for you Tilly..' Kent handed her an envelope. 'It was on your doorstep.'

Tilly frowned taking the envelope, her name was written in the middle of it but didn't say whom it's from..

'Weird..' Tilly said.

'Who's it from?' George asked standing beside Tilly looking at it.

'I don't know..'

'Well open it!' George suggest.

Tilly hesitated but she carefully tear it open.

It took Tilly a couple seconds to realize it was Jen in the picture, with Sandy. Kissing.

She swallowed, tears filled her eyes.

It took George longer to recognize who was on the picture.

'Is that Jen?' He asked. 'Oh crap it is..' George quickly looked at Tilly who by now had tears rolling down her cheeks.

'Tilly..' George said sympathetically. Tilly shook her head.. 'I'm fine..' she said as she ran upstairs.

'What happened?' Kent asked George confused as to what just happened. George simply handed over the picture.

'oh shit..' he whispered.

Esther stayed quiet the whole time. No need for her to go over and look at the picture but she did anyways, to avoid suspicions.

'What's going on?' She asked.

Kent gave her the picture. He studied Esther's reaction, and he could swear he saw a smirked on her face as she looked at it. 'You've got to be kidding me..' He thought.


End file.
